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Read Chapter One of the Dragon of Valentine’s Past

“ I don’t get it.”

“You don’t get what?”

“I don’t get how you were in the Underworld….

“Otherworld. Annwn, to be precise." Faye sighed, correcting her sister for the umpteenth time. "Not Hell. Not Hades. Not even the Underworld. I was in the Otherworld or Annwn. And don’t get it confused with….”

“Enough. There are just too many damned names for everything Below.

So, let's just say that you were wherever you were and leave it at that," Desi ground out through gritted teeth.

Then shaking her head and huffing out a sharp cleansing breath, she smiled and continued with a single nod of her head, "I do not understand – Make that cannot fathom - how you were ‘There’….” She made finger quotes.

“…from Halloween through Easter, the First Day of Spring, and missed the US’s Independence Day and never so much as kissed that man.

It's against the laws of our good, sweet Auntie, Mother Nature, or Auntie Nat as I try to sneak in when I'm sure she's not listening.

What were you thinking? Were you sleeping the whole time?

Catching up on your reading? Watching stupid trash TV? "

"Hold it right there. Are you saying I was supposed to feel all lovey-dovey when that Celtic and Welsh god had me chained to a barstool in the CopacaNetherworld, aka the dumbest name for the club, no matter where in this great big galaxy it happens to reside?

Do you seriously think I should've swooned when I was forced to listen to the Rat Pack morning, noon, and night? It was like being in that posh speakeasy back on Valentine’s Day 1929 all over again.

I just waited for the other shoe to drop or the gunfire to start. When I…."

"Could've been worse," Desi snorted. "You could've been at Studio 666 with the Hell Cat of Legend, that little permanently pissed-off Banshee and her sloshed sidekick. Oh, and let us not forget – Andy Frikkin’ Warhol."

"Hey," Faye objected. "I love me some, Andy.

You know I love me some, Andy. That Hell Cat, not so much.

She swings the pendulum in the opposite direction, stopping all the way on nutso-crazy balls.

She can pound sand. And do not get me started on that Banshee and her boyfriend.

I just pretend they're not there. But I love me some Andy.

So, do not diss the Warhol." She gave a little shimmy of her shoulders.

"And the music." Swaying in her seat, she hummed a couple of bars of Blondies' Heart of Glass , then added, "That is my music.”

"Yeah, okay, whatever." Desi rolled her eyes.

"You would tap your toes to a jug band jamboree and do not even think about zapping us to the 'happiest place on Earth.

' I can't take the heat and humidity of Orlando in August, and the mouse and his cohorts give me a rash in places I can't scratch.

So, excuse me if I don't take your suggestions for a playlist – or a vacation. "

“I would not do any of that. At least not without asking first. You take that….”

"My point is…" Desi went on without missing a beat and not listening to her sister at all.

"…you could've gotten out of said chains with less than a thought because you are who you are, Faye?

You could've been listening to any singer past, present, or future with less than a snap of your perfectly manicured fingers, right?

You could've been drinking the crappy green tea you like so much.

I don't know how you do it. It tastes like somebody boiled weeds out of the garden and poured the mixture over ice. Am I wrong? No, I am not."

Again, she didn't so much as pause or take a breath.

She just kept going like a runaway freight train with no brakes.

"You could've been doing the horizontal mambo with one of the sexiest gods ever created by our great and fabulous Auntie, the Universe, and all the other Powers That Be - God with a capital G, and the Great Goddess.

And that let us not forget Chaos. You know I ain't whistlin' Dixie here. "

Shaking her head but still not giving Faye a chance to get a word in edgewise, Desi huffed, "Pfft.

Yeah, and I was born yesterday, never have to work another day in my life, and finally got my hands on a pair of size nine-and-a-half Christian Louboutin Calfskin Crepe Poseidon 120 Peep Toe Pumps 35 in Perle.

" Twirling a silver curl around her index finger, she continued without so much as a breath she didn't need but always took for added effect.

"If you weren't gonna play nice and admit Mr. Sexy Celtic and Welsh Deity was the One made for you by Auntie Universe, then why did you stay down there for so long?

Why didn't you zap and zoom yourself outta there, and I don't know… . Knit something?"

“First of all, I do not knit. And secondly, I had to be there for Darek and Brandywine.”

“Sure ya’ did.” Rolling her eyes, Desi mumbled under her breath, “And they were makin’ with the bow-chica-wow-wow months before you ever made poof with your chains and popped yourself back up here.

I know it. You know it. Everybody knows it.

So, are you really gonna stick with the 'had to help my Dragon and his Mate' defense? "

“I did have to help my Dragon and his Mate. I had to be sure they got….”

"They got their happily ever after?" With a pointed tilt of her head, a click of her tongue, and a grimace that said she was about to say something Faye would regret, Desi sighed, "Girl, you got more excuses than a pregnant nun."

“No, wait….”

“Not gonna happen. We’ve all been waitin' long enough.

Why aren't you jumpin' on the love train and makin' with the whoopie? All your Dragons of Fate are Mated, and you don't have to worry about another set or a spare or a lost Dragon with a destiny unlike any other and in need of a Clan coming down the path for a looooooong time. At least not that I’ve seen, but I can check again when we’re done.

And even if you get an odd one here or there, which has been known to happen, the Stone boys are more than ready to train the guy and get him out there fightin' the evils of the universe.

They've got it all covered. The world can go on turning for a day or two - or a week or two or fifty-two if things go well - without your watchful eye.

Hell, I got your back. What are sisters for?

Yeah, I'm backin' up that crazy Celtic Matchmaker, but that's a walk in the park.

We both know I'm the best Love Guru ever to exist. I can find Supernaturals their Mates with my eyes closed, both hands tied behind my back, and walkin' in flats.

I got all the time in the world and then some to help you. "

Switching from the right leg crossed over the left to the left over the right, she gulped a breath and continued to toss out questions like bullets from a Tommy gun.

"What is it? Do you not want a Mate? Are you scared of the hours of great sex you'll have with a dude who knows what makes you happy even before you do?

Does being with the one who completes you like no other freak you out?

Again, I have to ask, do hours of great sex, mind-blowing, phenomenal, and orgasmic sex not sound like something you'd enjoy?

Hell, I know I would. Do you like being up here in your Mansion of Realms with a stodgy old butler and more rooms than a Four Seasons with nothing to do but click through billion, million, trillions of channels filled with reality TV and reruns? "

“How can I tell her that I’m scared? Me?

The Omnipotent Being known as Fate, her big sis, is actually afraid of starting a relationship and having it fail – again?

She’ll tell me to talk to Auntie Uni, but I did that, and of course, She told me that all would be okay.

But will it? I can’t hurt Arawn. He’s been through enough.

I have to… Oh, hell, I have to try to head Desi off at the pass before she figures me out. ” “No, it’s just that….”

"It's just that… It's just that…. It's just that, what ?

" She leaned forward as far as she could, her eyes open wide and her head nodding sharply with every word she said.

"Out with it, Faye. Please enlighten me.

Dazzle me with your brilliance. Tell me what is better than living forever and three days with a man who was made for you and wants nothing more than to make you happy twenty-four/seven/three-sixty-five/forever and ever. "

Feeling cornered, badgered, and basically outwitted, outmaneuvered, and ready to run screaming from her very own special place in the universe, Faye did the only thing she could do. She went on the defensive and got in a jab of her own.

"What's with the twenty questions? Are you channeling Brenda Leigh Johnson?

Has there been a murder backstage in the galaxy, and you need to ferret out the perpetrator?

Shouldn't you be saying, 'Thank you. Thank you very much' in the most sarcastic southern drawl you can muster before I even open my mouth? I mean…."

“You mean , you don't want to talk about it.

And while that's your right, I need to point out that you are binge-watching way too many reruns of old TV shows in an effort to avoid all thoughts of Mr. Tall, Dark, and Dangerous, or you would not have likened me to one of my favorite characters ever to light up the boob tube then dared me to solve the mystery that is quite simply your lack of commitment to your own happily ever after.

The worst thing Auntie Universe ever did was put wireless internet into every corner of the galaxy.

The Great Goddess, Auntie Nat, Chaos, or God with a Capital G should've stepped in and made it impossible for you to have access to every show ever created, no matter where you were. "

“No, it’s not….”