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“The point I’m tryin’ to make is…” Hopper stressed the words, trying really hard not to lose his temper but recognizing the writing was already on the wall.

He was two steps from throwing a hissy fit, and it appeared that the brake lines on that particular vehicle had been cut.

“I need to find a way to convince Desi and her lovely sister, Fate–two of our dear Cousins as you so loving referred to them–to back the holy hell off. They need to take a beat, go on vacation, or get a hobby that doesn’t involve me or my love life. ”

“That is a truly wonderful thought–something to strive for in the future .

However, let's be real, oh, and live in the present, our Family, at least the female members, tend to think of meddling in our lives as a right, not a luxury. Dare I say, they see it as a sport and are always striving to win the gold medal.”

“Yeah, I get it,” Hop sighed. “I have actually taken part in their sport when it…”

“When it didn’t involve you?”

“Yeah,” the Omnipotent Being known as Hope begrudgingly nodded.

Then, pointing his finger at his Cousin, he warned, “And so have you. Do not try to take the moral high ground with me. Your day is coming, Bud. Just because you refuse to tell us who your One True Fated Mate is… Just because you found a way to hide the information from us… And just because you convinced Chaos, Auntie Universe, the Great Goddess, and God with a capital G to keep your secret does not mean she’s not out there and it does not mean that I won’t figure out who she is. ”

“Don’t you dare threaten me, Hopper. I will make you understand the true meaning of 'praying for patience.' You know I can do it, and worse yet, you know I will."

Holding up his hands in surrender, the Omnipotent Being known as Hope acquiesced, "Okay, there, Partner, I give up. Don't shoot." Forcing a smile, he tried to tease, "I was just sayin’…”

“You were just deflecting.”

“Okay, yeah, that too.” Dropping his hands, his shoulders slumped forward. “Why can’t those two just get it through their collective omnipotent brains that Hel wants literally nothing to do with me?”

Running his fingers through his hair one more time, he was sure the curls had been pulled out and every last strand was standing on end–and he didn’t care.

He needed to finish his thought before his brain melted and ran out his ears.

“I mean, come on, they have to get a clue. Those two wonderful Ladies, who I simply adore, have been right there–front and center–every time Hel has literally laid eyes on me, done a one-eighty, lifted up her skirt, and gotten the hell right outta Dodge.”

Shaking his head, he kept right on going with each word coming out faster than the one before. “I would swear she was going for the gold in the Olympic fifty-yard dash.”

Throwing his hands in the air, he let them fall just as quickly. “Why can’t they just leave well enough alone? This shit is gettin’ damned embarrassing.”

“You know why.” Not waiting for an answer, Pat kept right on going.

“Because Fate is living her happily ever after with Arawn, and Destiny was just officially given the gig of the Universe's Chosen Matchmaker. That means she’s handling all of Babs MacAutley’s duties while the Babdhoír–that’s Matchmaker in Gaelic in case you’ve forgotten… ”

‘Thanks, but I know the language.”

“Smart ass.”

“Always.”

“Anyway, as I was saying, Desi is now the Matchmaker Extraordinaire–a title she coined all by herself–while Babs is in parts unknown and she thinks that everybody everywhere needs to be in love and Mated. But mostly those two cannot butt out because, like I said before, they really and truly care for you and Hel.”

“I get it. I love them too. But we all saw what happened at Faye and Ari’s Halloween Party.”

“Yes, but…”

“You remember, right?’

“I do, but…”

“She ran so fast when she saw me comin’ that I had to raise my arm and smell my pit. I thought I’d forgotten my deodorant.”

“You know it wasn’t…”

“Yeah, you’re right. I know I didn’t stink.” Hopper snapped. “Because I always smell sweet as a daisy, and… because Hel hates me.”

“Hel does not hate you, Hop,” Pat countered with just as much emphasis. “I am sure whatever is going on with the Norse goddess of Helheim has nothing to do with you. She is dealing with something. You can see it in her eyes. She is haunted by something or someone, and when she’s ready, she will…”

“Okay, if I’m not the problem then tell me how I get Desi and Faye to leave me alone until my beautiful Mate is ready to take the next step?”

“I think you need to…”

“You know what, Pat?”

“Umm… you don’t want to hear my opinion on getting Destiny and Fate to leave you alone?”

“No. I mean, yes. I mean…” Shaking his head, Hopper motioned for his Cousin to hurry up as he added, “Sorry. I mean that I shouldn’t have interrupted. After all, I did ask the question. So, riddle me this, dear Cousin, why can’t those two leave me alone?”

"Because they love you, and they love Hel. Most of all, they want both of you to be happy. Those two know all too well that you and she have known y’all are Fated Mates since the moment Hel was born.

They understand, well, at least Fate understands, that making a commitment is hard.

No matter how you feel and what you know, when you are gonna live forever and ever amen, and that means that you will be together with the one made for you by the Universe forever and ever amen, anything and everything can be scary. "

“Yeah, but…”

“One more thing,” Pat continued. “Everybody keeps saying the road to Hell is paved with good intentions, but they keep forgetting that the way to True Love is narrow, rocky, and full of potholes.”

“Well, shit, you got me there,” Hope sighed. “I never thought of it that way.”

Shrugging, Pat added, “Just a little perspective from the guy who has helped a lot of people tolerate a lot of curves and swerves on their way to happily ever after.”

“Yeah, okay, whatever. I get it, I guess. You are telling me that I need patience. And I have that where Hel is concerned. Truly, I do.”

“I know you do, Cuz.”

“Well, then you need to help Faye and Desi get some, too. After all, that is your thing.”

“Touché.”

“Yeah, well, as I see it, our dear Cousins think Hel is scared because making a commitment to me is forever and she has some skeletons in her closet that need to be dealt with, and Faye and Desi think I feel the same way.”

“That’s not exactly what I said.”

“Close enough.” Running his fingers through whatever curls were left in the mop of blonde hair atop his head, the Omnipotent Being known as Hope continued without so much as a breath. “Now, can I ask my question?”

“The one where you started with, ‘You know what, Pat?”

“Yep, that one.”

“I can tell I’m gonna regret this... but yeah, go ahead.

Let’s assume I have no idea that what you say next will be so off the wall that it should be coming from somewhere just south of Poughkeepsie.

” Making the ‘come on’ signal with all four of the fingers on his free hand, Pat continued, “Go on now. Tell me.”

“I envy you.”

“What?!” Pat yelped with such gusto that a spray of coffee flew from his lips as if they’d been shot out of a 747 going at top speed.

Flying in every imaginable direction, the flinging droplets of the warm brown liquid landed all over the back of Hopper’s dark blue leather couch.

“You…” He pointed at Hopper. “…envy me? Damn! I didn’t see that comin’.

” Poking himself in the chest with the tip of the index finger of his left hand, he shook his head and scoffed, “Why in all that’s holy would you, the Omnipotent Being known as Hope, ever envy me? ”

“Because, my dear Cousin, you…” Unable to continue, Hopper leveled his gaze.

Inhaling deeply, the Omnipotent Being known as Hope held it for precisely one second, then exhaled while slowly nodding.

Silence filled the massive room as he searched for the right words to properly convey how much he admired his Cousin.

When nothing came to mind, but his annoyance continued to grow in leaps and bounds, he shrugged and just let it all fly.

After all, he’d always been as blunt as a fence post and as honest as the day was long, especially with his Cousin, Pat. Why change now?

“You are the Omnipotent Being known as Patience.” Holding up his hand when his Cousin started to speak, he kept right on going.

“And I know you’re gonna tell me that it’s a pain in the ass being said Omnipotent Being.

That it is no walk in the park being the literal Magical, Mythical, Unexplainable embodiment of Patience–the one thing over ninety-five percent of all sentient beings on the planet known as Earth want and need to survive and stay out of jail but never truly want to ask for just in case they are taught a lesson from which they might never recover.

You’re going to tell me that your job is worse than an itch you can't scratch or that elusive bastard of a cricket that chirps at three-thirty-three in the morning after you just spent two-and-a-half hours getting comfortable enough to fall asleep. But I’m here to tell you that being me, Hope, the dude who holds the purse strings on the feeling that makes us all believe anything is possible and that events will turn out for the best for all the living beings in the universe sucks when you are the one quickly losing your belief in that particular feeling where your own eternal existence is concerned. ”