Page 50

“It’s not that you don’t want to talk about it?

It’s not that he isn't Mr. Tall, Dark, and Dangerous and made for you in every way possible and then some? It’s not that you aren't binge-watching too many reruns? Or it’s not that pushing wireless internet into every corner of the galaxy wasn't the worse thing Auntie Uni ever did? "

Holding up the index finger of her free hand, Desi took a sip of the sparkling water with cucumber and limes - the concoction she insisted Faye 'whip' up every time they were about to have a 'serious' conversation - sighed blissfully and went on.

"How 'bout streamlining your whole denial process by just saying all of the above? However, you know, and I know, that you would be lying. So, the correct answer is - not only do you not want to talk about it or him, or love or sex, but rather you would like me to be the good little sister, shut up, and do as you say. Or, in other words, join in your delusional existence and pretend you haven't had a Mate since ten minutes after God with a capital G gave life to Adam and Eve. You want me to pretend to be deaf, dumb, and blind, not to ask questions, and to let you continue to make a mess of your immortal existence for the rest of… Well, for the rest of forever because that’s how long we have. You want….”

Holding her finger up, Faye forced the words through gritted teeth, "No! I do not want…."

“Don’t even try it. We’re both literally older than dirt – like we were here before dirt was even invented – that’s how old we are .

Some even call us Omnipotent Beings. Personally, it sounds a little too on the nose for me, but hey, different strokes for different folks.

We were there when Chaos realized They weren't alone and when the Universe breathed life into the Primordial ooze.

We were present when God with a capital G said, 'Let there be light,' and when the Great Goddess zapped the big blue and green ball you like to call home with tons of metaphysical mojo to make it circle the Sun.

I know when you're tryin' to pull the wool over my eyes.

Hell, I know damn near everything because I am who I am, and I didn't get a choice in the matter.

There's something you're not telling me, don't want me to know, or are embarrassed about – or… ."

She shoved the perfectly coifed, long, silvery curls over her shoulder and rolled her eyes again.

"… all of the above. You know it. I know it. Hell, I bet those blasted Dragons of yours know it too. They have to have wondered a time or two why you're still single. I mean, let’s face it – you, my sista, are a catch and then some. However, at this moment, your Winged Warriors are just too busy being in lurve and making whoopee to call you out on your bullshit. That’s where I come in.

Just like always, it’s left up to me to… .”

“To be a giant pain in my ass? To make me want to pull out my hair? To march into my mansion like you own the joint? To never give me a moment’s peace and make me think about all the things I try not to contemplate about all the other minutes of all the other days of all the other…?”

"If that's what's called for, then yes," Desi once again butted in. "I have no problem being the bad guy, calling it like I see it, and making you – dear sister - stop being an obtuse butthead, and get on with your happily ever after that will last even after the world stops whirling and twirling."

“Come on, Desi, can’t you just…?”

"No, I cannot." She shook her head with such vigor that the immaculately curled ends of her incredibly long silvery tresses – yes, the ones she'd just moments before pushed backward -swung to the front with such vim and vigor they tickled the tip of Faye's nose before landing elegantly over her sister's shoulder. "And I will not."

Refusing to sneeze, the oldest sister – or so they'd been told for all of time by the other Powers That Be - swiped the end of her nose with the side of her index finger and glared.

Of course, Desi was glowering right back.

It was the age-old staring contest. The one true test of wills that would only end when one of them feigned to blink – or ceased to exist. Of course, neither would ever happen without the world coming to a horrible, terrible, fiery end or a silverfish crawling across one of their shoes.

But still, every time they engaged in one of these battles, Faye had to wonder who would be the first to blink.

“Wonder no more. It will not be me,” Desi huffed.

“Stop reading my mind.”

“Stop projecting louder than the Boston Pops playing an old, but still favorite, John Phillip Sousa march,” Desi sassed.

“You know, I have been waiting since Cupid shot his first arrow for you and that hunky Celtic god of Annwn to get your bow-chica-wow-wow on, get to the Mating, and make me an auntie.”

“Not gonna happen.”

“What’s not gonna happen? You’re not gonna play nice and kiss whatever needs to be kissed on your man? You’re not gonna bow-chica-wow-wow ? You're not gonna get Mated? You’re not gonna have kids? Oh, puhlease,” Desi ended by rolling her eyes for the umpteenth time.

"I win!" Faye clapped her hands, shimmied her shoulders, put her feet up on her desk with the confidence of the one and only Omnipotent Being known as Fate, crossed them at her ankles, and gave a resounding fist pump.

"You just couldn't resist gettin' all petulant and rollin' your eyes at me.

So, I win! What's that now? Infinity plus twenty-seven to the millionth power?

Face it, Sis. I am the Omnipotent Winner of the Staring Contest!

I should have a trophy or a medal or something made.

Sure, I could whip it up, but it means more when it is handmade. I wonder what Hephaestus is up to."

"Yeah, that's what's important here. You winning some silly kid's game and getting a trophy made.

" Snapping her fingers, Desi conjured away her fancy schmancy water.

Then she zapped up a steaming mocha-choca-carmelleto latte from her favorite coffee shop owned and operated by their dear friend and Dragoness, Martha Dellencourt.

"And having coffee is central to whatever point you're trying to unsuccessfully, I might add – to make?" Faye couldn't help but mirror her sister's previous action and toss her long ebony curls over her shoulder - but without tickling Desi's nose.

After blowing away a puff of steam, Destiny took a slow sip of her drink and then continued in a tone that made Faye want to Magick up a pair of noise-canceling headphones and send herself to a deserted island that had yet to be created with all the romance books ever written, a playlist of all her favorite tunes, and a handheld TV already loaded with Netflix.

“You have got to have more than a few screws loose.

Arawn is the Welsh god of Death. He controls the Pearly Gates and Darkness, strikes fear in the hearts of all who dare to stand before him, has the most brilliant crystal blue and glowing eyes that make your special spot get all hot and bothered with barely a glance, and wears a smoldering cloak held together by slivers of smoke from the fires of the Otherworld. "

Letting her head fall to the side, the youngest sister of the Fate and Destiny duo, which was an integral part of The Powers That Be, refused to stop.

"Not only that, but he is also the Celtic god and Ruler of Annwn – the place most people call the Pearly Gates.

He's also the Keeper of the Fires of all the Underworld, the Otherworld, the…

Oh, Hell, whatever name it's been given today.

How about we go with 'everything farther south than our humans can travel'?

" After finishing with a sarcastic set of finger quotes, she dropped her hands and gave a sharp, satisfied nod.

"Dude, your Mate is the Holder of the Keys of the Gates of Everything Below and has the finest ass I've ever seen. "

“Desi, you really need to….”

"Do I really need you to explain three things to me ? Damn straight, I do, Sister. That's what I've been sayin'. I need you to crap or get off the pot or tell me why you're not doing either of those things. That's what I really need."

Knowing that her sister would stop only when Faye answered her questions and made some idiotic pinky promise she would hate with a burning passion, the Omnipotent Being known as Fate laid her hand out, palm up, in the air between them and did a backward wave with her fingers – the universal motion for 'hurry the hell up' - and sighed, "Okay, out with it.

I have things to do and people to see. What three things do you really need to know? "

Looking way too satisfied, Desi, aka the Omnipotent Being known as Destiny, gave a haughty nod, winked, and took another sip of her coffee. “Now, was that so hard?”

“You have no idea.”

"Whatever." With a flick of her fingers, the heavy ceramic mug disappeared into the Ether, leaving the scent of caramel, coffee, and cream behind and making Faye want to go and see Martha as soon as the torture of talking to her sister was over.

Leaning back into the overstuffed cushion of the chair she always occupied, Desi crossed her legs, smoothed the hem of the jacket of her merlot-colored Elsa Schiaparelli suit, and gave Faye a smile to rival the Cheshire cat.

“I know you want me to think you don’t want to be with Arawn.

And I know you think that I think you’re unhappy… .”

“When do the questions start?”