Page 59 of Heavy

“Because I told you if you want me to answer any more of yours, you first have to answer mine. Who is after you, Cal?”

She shakes her head, and I am done with this back and forth. Turning from her, I move to the door, but she darts quickly through the opposite path, knocking into the workbench, scattering tools across the floor and feathers I’ve started to notice showing up here over the course of the last two weeks.

The moment she’s in front of me, I’m expecting her to try and grab onto me, put her hands onto my chest to stop me. Except she doesn’t. Instead she falls to her knees and… begs.

“They… they’re dangerous. I can’t have them hurting you, please, Ronan! Please, please… they… they’ll kill you.”

I tilt my head and bend at the hips to grab her chin. Roughly, I jerk her up to look at me. “Then I die, and I will be free. Who are you to tell me how I choose to go?”

19

Ronan

AGE 9

Iwon’tsurvivethis.He did it too hard, and I can swear the sky is getting closer and closer.

“Eamon!” My shriek echoes across the backyard as I begin to plummet back down toward the trampoline. His laugh rings out, loud and manly, so much like our dad’s, and he’s only seventeen.

When I slam into the bouncy material, I go right back up, spinning before I’m coming back down again. He double jumped me too hard, and he knows better. If I get hurt, Mom will be so mad.

After finally coming to a stop, I scramble to my knees and shoot my head up. My fake-scowl only has him laughing harder. “Be careful, you’re so much bigger than I am, Bro.”

“I need to toughen you up, little man.” Pretending like he's about to jump, I flatten myself to the floor. He lets out a villain laugh, and I giggle, rolling toward the edge. The mesh keeps me from falling off and the soft blue cushion feels like a gym mat, giving me just the comfort I need.

As I’m getting my bearings, I’m about to tell him to try again but less hard, when he suddenly looks down at his jeans. He shoves his hand into his pocket and brings out his phone.

Of course…

He puts it to his ear. “Hey, babe.” When he looks at me, he winks and mouths “girlfriend”.

“Which one?!” I shout, and he gives me that look of betrayal. I throw my hand over my mouth and laugh.

“Yeah, I’m free, what you doing?” I watch then as Eamon slips between the mesh lining, jumps out, and walks up the patio to our home.

I move to the middle of the trampoline and stare blankly at the glass door. Next year it’ll just be me, Mom, and Dad. Eamon is going off to college, so I really should just get used to playing by myself. I’ve got friends in little league, but it won’t be the same. I’m going to miss him, and I’m not sure how I’m going to deal with it.

I jump down into the yard and watch Sammy, our Golden Retriever, come rushing around the pool. He stops in front of me, drops his ball, and barks. I rub his soft, golden coat and pick up the ball before tossing it across the yard.

The sound of the glass door opening pulls my attention, and out comes my dad and my uncle.

“You watch the game on Sunday?” my dad asks, taking a drink of his ‘adult beverage’ as my mom likes to call it. I thought it was root beer one day, and boy was I wrong. Nasty stuff, I swore I was drinking gasoline.

“Yeah, fucking Raider’s, man—”

“Watch your mouth, Uncle T,” I say with a smug smile. The two of them look at me, and my dad points his drink right at me.

“That’s my boy.” He then smacks my uncle across the back of the head. “Listen to the kid, or I’ll wash your mouth out with soap.”

Sammy is back, dropping the ball at my feet. I bend and grab it, hearing my dad say, “Shoot, left my phone inside. I’ll be right back, then we can start the barbecue up.”

I toss the ball and watch as our dog goes rushing after it.

My uncle steps up beside me, his hand resting at the curve of my shoulder and neck. “You got a good arm, Ronan.” His hand gently rubs my muscle, and I turn my head to look up at him. “You’ll be quite the man one day, just like your brother.”

I smile, because that’s all I can hope for. To be like Eamon, the guy that gets the girls. The one that can play any sport and already has his entire life figured out.

When his hand moves to the back of my neck, he kneels down, his face coming slightly closer to mine than it ever has before. “I think you’ll be better than Eamon, though.”