Page 138 of Heavy

“Let me go to him!” I scream again. “Please let me go! Ronan!! I’m here, baby, don’t leave me, please!”

I’m not sure what happens next, but suddenly I’m pulled away from the woman. It’s not just one set of arms that grabs me, but several. They yank me back, and as the paramedic turns, I catch a glimpse of a breathing mask being placed over Ronan’s mouth—just before a heavy gust of wind sweeps sand and dust into the air. The gritty texture of it hitting my eyes doesn’t even cause me to blink.

I just watch as Ken and the paramedics look at the man I can’t live without.

I can’t… I won’t… survive without him.

“Please save him…” I lose my strength and my knees give out. Whoever had my arms was taken off guard, because I fall to the ground.

I don’t want to be picked back up, not unless it’s by Ronan.

46

Calista

Wehavebeensittingin this waiting room for over an hour, but Ronan has been in critical care for more than that.

They air lifted him to UCH in Denver.

Amy said Ken couldn’t feel a pulse, but he’s not a doctor. When the paramedics arrived, Ronan’s pulse was faint—nearly unreadable. He didn’t look alive, but they said his heart was still beating, just barely. I think that’s why I’m still alive, because I have no doubt that Amy’s threat will hold if he doesn’t make it.

Ken filled me in on what happened. He had connected the dots with Samantha, the sister of the man Ronan killed in the bar fight. Something about my silence tipped them off, and they figured it was better to assume the worst, than do nothing and regret it.

They had a friend, Glen, check on my parents’ place. I don’t know exactly what he saw or heard, but it prompted him to call the police. Ten minutes later, they arrived, and the place was surrounded. My mom and Gene were pulled out and taken to another hospital. Ken and the boys headed straight for the cabin, but not directly to ours. Ronan had warned them that if a gunfight broke out, the boys could get caught in the crossfire. When they heard the first shots, they called the police. They then ran into the house and dragged Ronan out just before the fire consumed the entire living room.

I can’t quite wrap my mind around the timing of it all, but when Samantha realized the cops were coming, she bailed. That’s when Ken and the boys went inside and found Ronan, already bleeding out.

Three people died tonight—the driver who took me, one of the men who fought Ronan, and the guy I shot when he came through the door. I took two lives, and I don’t feel a thing for them. But if that number grows, and I lose the man I love, I’ll be adding myself to the count.

“Cal?” A voice calling for me has me taking a deep breath and looking around. Kneeling right in front of me is Eamon, his hands on my shaking legs. “Can you hear me?”

I swallow and absentmindedly nod my head. He was the only person I called, and he answered on the first ring… It’s like he knew something was wrong.

He arrived in fifteen minutes, and they immediately let him into the room, as he is technically Ronan’s only blood family.

“He’s out of surgery and on life support right now.” He moves his hand up to my cheek, catching my tears. “I’ve told them you’re family, and I’ve convinced them to let you see him.”

After he helps me shakily to my feet, I glance at Ken and the others, all looking just as battered as I feel. Exhaustion, worry... This is the family Ronan always deserved. To have them here, for him, when he needed them most. He can’t die now, not after finally having this. He just can’t.

Eamon leads me down the white-on-white hallway until we reach a room. As we approach, a doctor steps out while a nurse walks in. We follow right behind, and my nerves spike as I catch sight of feet under a blanket at the edge of the bed.

I come to an abrupt halt, and I feel my stepdad’s arm wrap around my shoulders.

“Everything is covered, you’ll only see his face.”

My shaky hand comes to his shirt as I lean against him. “I did this to him, Eamon… I shouldn’t be here…” The moment I’m regretting not just running from Amy and disappearing, he pulls me into a hug.

“I don’t know what happened, and right now, I don’t care.” When he takes an unstable breath, I choke back a sob. It’s now that I realize he’s chosen to be here with Ronan, not with my mom. It’s the right choice, the one he should’ve always made for his brother.

I, too, should’ve chosen to be better for him.

I should’ve told him the truth and trusted him.

“All I care about is him, and I know you do, too. He deserves that; for people to care.” He pulls me back and I look up at his tear-stricken face. “Seeing you and his… family out there, it’s what he should’ve had all along.” When he pauses briefly, he releases a heavy sigh. “Don’t run like I did, Cal.”

He’s right, and I’m a coward for even thinking I shouldn’t be here. “Thank you, Eamon.”

I turn to watch as the nurse gives us a half smile. “He’s breathing on his own, but we’ve got him on dialysis.” His gaze now directs to me as he continues, “He’s got several tubes in him. Please be mindful of where you put your hands.”