Page 43

My heart pounds as I wait in the shadows.

The risks are infinite. There’s no promise of reward.

The plan is faulty at best, but it’s the best we have.

Daniel’s cell is only unguarded when he’s not inside.

And that only occurs in any reliable pattern when they conduct their research.

So here I am. Waiting. Shaking. Confident I’m doing the right thing even if it’s the wrong way.

The space is stark, to say the least. My only hope for remaining unseen is an irregular wall encasing retrofitted ductwork.

The fact that it’s located on the nearside behind the door gives me some hope I’ll be hidden when the guards return.

Still, I feel completely exposed when the door clicks open.

I hold my breath and watch two men gently lower a third to the floor.

They leave without a word, and I remain frozen.

My body tingles; my brain sputters through its task list knowing none are important enough for this moment.

But Daniel’s here because no one can hide from him, and his eyes lift slowly to connect with mine.

I stop thinking with my brain.

He accepts my embrace as I cling to him. I close my eyes and absorb the warmth of his body—living, flowing blood. Visions explode in my skull, terrifying, violent, sad, lonely. But I want every one of them. I want everything about him and I never want to let him go again.

“You weren’t supposed to come back,” he whispers against my hair.

“You had to know I’d come back.”

He’s shaking, and I hold tighter when I realize it’s not from my presence. Anna was right. Whatever they’ve been doing to him has completely ruined him.

“Am I evil if I secretly hoped you would?” he whispers.

I kiss him then. I have to. It’s wrong and right and entirely ludicrous, but I know the value of the present, that no second is guaranteed. I know a hundred words can’t say what my lips can with one gesture, and he understands my speech completely.

He pulls away and cups my face. “I sensed you as we moved down the hall. I thought I’d lost my mind.”

“I was afraid you’d be angry. I know what you’re doing to keep me safe.”

His gaze flickers away, sending a stab of pain through me. After a moment, he seems to swallow any emotion. “They don’t know your memories returned.”

“No. Clausen still thinks I’ve lost the last few months. You should have seen Ben and Laura reintroduce themselves. They tried to make my life miserable again, but when you don’t remember anything, it’s kind of hard. I just feel bad for Connor. He didn’t deserve to be uprooted and stuck with them.”

“He’s a good guy. How did he take your memory loss?”

I shrug and help him toward the wall so he can rest. “It’s better this way. It has to be easier to blame a freak accident than open rejection.” I feel his gaze. “How long do we have?”

“How long do you want?”

I catch his brief smile.

“Anna didn’t tell you?”

“Tell me what?”

His smile spreads into a grin. “There’s no way you’re getting out of here undetected until they come for me again. They’ll shove meals in at some point, and that’s your bathroom.” He points to a toilet and sink in the far corner of the room.

“So I guess I’ll be here for a while.”

“Hope you and Anna thoroughly covered your alibi.”

I take his hand. “I can think of worse scenarios than being stuck in a confined space with you.”

“We’ll see how you feel at this time tomorrow.”

My smile fades as I grip his fingers and concentrate on the vision. “What were they doing today?” I open my eyes and turn his arm. The fresh marks run from his wrist to his elbow. “What was that machine?”

He shuts down, and the inevitable frustration returns as we revert back to the infuriating pattern of questions and silence.

“I don’t want to talk about any of that. I know you’ll look, but don’t make me talk about it.”

I force away my protests. “They won’t be able to detect me here, will they?”

“Not unless they see you. They’ve gone through great lengths to secure this room so no one on the outside will know I’m here. It works to our advantage on the inside.”

“I’m getting you out of here.”

“I know.”

He smiles at my reaction.

“Wait, you have faith in my plan?”

“Not necessarily, but I have faith in you. If your plan doesn’t work, you’ll try something else.”

“Good. You’re finally learning.”

“I’m a slow study sometimes.”

“No, you’re brilliant. You’re just stubborn.”

“I’m cautious.”

“You can be an ass.”

His grin shoots through me in a wonderful ache.

“I can’t argue with that.”

I nestle against him, and slide my fingers along his arm. “What’s it like?”

“I told you I don’t want to talk about it.”

“I’m not asking about them, I’m asking about you.”

“You saw. You were there.”

“I’m not asking about all that, I’m asking about you.”

He clenches his jaw. “Has Clausen approached you yet?”

“You’re changing the subject. Why were you shaking earlier?” His glare speaks volumes, but I’m different now too. “Please, I came back for you. Let me be here for you.”

He sighs and leans his head against the wall. “They’re tampering with my nervous system. You can imagine there’d be side effects.”

“But why you? What if they do permanent damage?”

He turns on me. “Who else but me?” His gaze drops to the floor.

“Just concentrate on your plan. Let me deal with the rest.” I bite my lip, and he squeezes my arm.

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped like that.

I know how hard this must be for you.” He quiets, eyes narrowing as he reads my thoughts.

“Don’t you think I would have tried that already? ”

I bristle at the intrusion. “I can’t stop you from going into my head, but you can’t judge me for thinking.

Of course I’m going to brainstorm every possibility I can.

It’s not fair that I don’t get to choose which ones to suggest. And anyway, why won’t that work?

You’ve erased my memories twice. If you erased Clausen’s, we’d have a window for escape. ”

“I erased a few months from you and that pushed me to my limits. I would never be able to erase over a decade. Besides, he’s found a way to block me. Sometimes I can break through, but most of the time I can barely read his thoughts, let alone erase them.”

“How does he block you?”

“I don’t know. I can only guess it has something to do with his research on Laura.”

I let out a breath. “I don’t get it. Why all this for some stupid experiment. There has to be an easier way for him to make a name for himself.”

His startled gaze meets mine. “This isn’t about his reputation. Don’t you know who he is?”

“But I thought… The monitors and research and speech about—”

“Clausen isn’t obsessed with notoriety. His fame is what allowed him to fuel his real obsession.”

“You?”

“Knowledge. Control.”

“What do you mean?”

He turns to me, tense and focused. “What do you think Madison Academy is, Rebecca?”

“It’s a progressive school affiliated with Olde York University.”

He shakes his head. “That’s the propaganda they feed. The name Olde York lures the masses. Lends credibility. Who wouldn’t want to be linked to one of the most prestigious Ivy League schools in the country? Particularly, when it’s run by Olde York’s very own Walter Clausen.”

“Director Clausen?”

“Doctor Walter Clausen. Next time you’re in the library, check out the section on neuroscience.

Dr. Walter Clausen authored half the books.

I guarantee many of the students are here just to cross his path.

” He looks away. When he finally returns, my heart breaks.

“My mother went after him, not the other way around. She thought he could help us.”

I gasp, sick at the thought.

“Obviously, she didn’t know what would happen,” he adds quickly.

“She was scared, afraid for me. Maybe even afraid of me. She read about his research and decided if anyone could help us it was the brilliant neuroscientist in the States. She wasn’t seduced by his money and charm, but his vow to help me.

And he fed her all the sunshine and promises she could handle.

She fell in love with her white knight.” He stares at the ground and clenches his fists.

“And he fell in love with me. Or more accurately, what a child like me could do for his life’s work.

I’ve become his entire existence. He hates me and reveres me at the same time. ”

After another lengthy pause, he continues.

“When I told you I was responsible for Madison Academy, I was being literal. Clausen gave up his post as chair of the neuroscience department at Olde York to pursue his research full time. He founded Madison Academy, presumably as a ‘progressive school’ for gifted students like me. Really, it’s just become his giant toybox. ”

“But how can he publish all this stuff? Wouldn’t the scientific community question his research tactics?”

Daniel shakes his head. “He doesn’t publish any of it.

It would be easier to fight him if it were about the money, fame, or reputation.

Those are weaknesses I could exploit, but he doesn’t care about any of that.

His pursuit is pure. No one knows what’s going on here except the people in that room, and Clausen is perfectly fine keeping it that way. ”

My stomach rolls again. “That’s why you have to play along. Officially, there’s nothing to tell.”

He nods. “One of many reasons. You’ve seen what happens when I bring others into this.

Besides, what am I going to say? The beloved godfather of the scientific community, the man who’s dedicated his entire life to helping troubled, special kids, is actually torturing some forgotten German orphan to save all of humanity?

Who would I even tell? Even if I found someone willing to listen, with a slight twist of the truth Clausen could explain it away.

Don’t you think I’ve tried? That’s the whole point of those group sessions. ”

“What do you mean?”