Page 17

By the time we finish dinner, I dream only of my bed. Even Daniel’s dark, vacant room barely registers on my consciousness as I shuffle past it. I’m visualizing the plunge into soft silky sheets when I push through my door and freeze.

My heart jumps at the figure reclined in my chair.

“Daniel?”

His lips quirk up in a smile that brings a rush of heat and relief at the same time.

“You’re okay. I was afraid they’d come after you for what happened in group today.”

I don’t miss the way his fist tightens on the armrest. “They will. Why don’t you ever participate in the evening activities?”

“Why don’t you?”

He gives me a wry look and leans forward. “Look, I didn’t come to chat. I don’t have much time. You have to leave here, Rebecca.”

“You know I’m not going to leave you to whatever it is I’m leaving you to.”

He shakes his head, clearly frustrated. “I already told you, there’s nothing you can do to help me, but it’s not too late for you.

They’re going to use you. That’s why you’re here.

That’s why all of us are here. They print these fancy brochures and furnish this Stepford mansion, but it’s only to disguise the prison that it is. ”

I let out my breath. “Your experience here is hell, I know that. And yeah, I’m starting to believe you are a prisoner here. But I’m not. I just spoke to Anna about that and—”

“You spoke to your counselor about it?” His alarm makes me stiffen in defense.

“Relax. All I asked is if I could go home if I wanted to.”

He curses and pushes to his feet. Maybe I’m concerned when he starts pacing. “How much do they know about you?”

“What do you mean? They know my gift.”

“Obviously, but how much do they really know about you?” He stops and runs his hand over his head.

“Okay, let me start over. They want something from you. The girl you replaced had similar abilities, but hers weren’t as controlled as yours and she couldn’t see the future. You’re an upgrade for them.”

My stomach twists. “What are you saying?”

“Do you have any idea how valuable I am to them?”

I bite my lip. “I imagine so. If you could know everything about everyone.”

“Exactly, and that’s only the beginning.

I’m never leaving here, Rebecca. I fight them every step of the way, but I know I’ll never win.

They’ll find a way to break me. They have in the past, and they’ll do the same to you.

They’ll do whatever they can to find your trigger, and then they fire until there’s nothing left. ”

“My trigger?”

His haunted eyes meet mine. “Yes. The one thing they can exploit to control you.”

I gasp at the vision that comes flooding back. “Is that the reason I saw your mother in that room with you?”

Nausea sweeps through me when a muscle tightens in his jaw. He doesn’t look up.

“You can’t let them discover your trigger,” he says quietly, his voice strained. “I was hers. She was mine.”

“Was?” I close my eyes and steady myself against the bedpost. Fear knots in my chest as I consider his words, everything I’ve seen so far. Can he read my terror? What about the rest of my confession?

“They already know my trigger,” I force out quietly.

You.

When I dare to look at him, I see how it crushes him.

He sinks into the chair and scrubs a hand over his face. “Then we don’t have a choice. You have to leave now.”

“I can’t.”

“Rebecca…”

“I’m not leaving you.”

His fists clench as he leans forward. “This isn’t a game. I know you think you’re doing the noble thing by helping the poor tortured orphan, but you’re not. You can’t begin to understand the damage you’ll cause. You have to leave while you can. Soon you won’t be able to.”

I flinch at the pain in his voice. The way his gaze flickers with each word. What must it be like to force away the only person who cares about you? The only person who knows who you are? How long has he been stuck in this prison alone? There’s no way I’m letting him do it.

“And I’m telling you. I. Can’t,” I say. I won’t, I add mentally.

He slams his fist on the chair. “Dammit, Rebecca! You don’t know this place. They’re going to use us against each other.”

“So tell me! Stop trying to protect me from the truth and tell me what it is I don’t know.” I haven’t even finished my speech when the stony mask falls into position on his face.

“You know I can’t do that.”

“Then, I guess we have a problem.” I meet his glare and cross my arms, waiting. “They haven’t used us against each other yet,” I continue when it’s clear he won’t.

“No?” he challenges back, and I swallow.

“Not seriously.”

“What do you think group was today?”

“Clausen being a jerk.”

He shakes his head. “That was about you, not me. If what you said is true and he knows your trigger, then he knows the best way to get to you is by attacking me. That was mild. It’s only going to get worse. That was a test, and we failed.”

“If you knew that, why did you give in?” I regret the accusation the second it comes out.

His gaze turns cold. “I can take a lot but I’m not invincible. You know what? This is a waste of time. I’m compromising everything that’s kept me alive for the last eleven years just by being here. Believe me or fucking don’t.” He brushes past me, igniting a sudden panic in my blood.

“Daniel, wait!” I grab his arm, and he looks back in irritation. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that in the way it sounded. You’re right, I don’t understand. Make me understand. Please?”

My grip tightens on his sleeve, but I can’t read his expression.

“Words won’t make you understand. Only they will, and then it’s too late.”

“There’s another way.” I shift my gaze to his hand, letting it rest for a moment before meeting his eyes again. When he softens slightly and nods, I slide my hand down his arm to his fingers. I immediately gasp and let go.

“What is it?”

“How often do you wear that shirt?”

He glances down at his chest. “Often. Why?”

“We have to go! Do you have a place where we can hide?”

“What? Just tell me what you saw.”

“Not now. We have to go!”

I grab his arm, tugging him toward the door. He yanks it away and stares at me. “Did you see the future? I can’t hide from them, if that’s what you’re thinking.”

“Then maybe…” Shit, I’m not even making sense. I release a frustrated breath. “We have to do something!”

How can he be so calm? His face betrays nothing as he studies me. “What did you see? Were you in the vision?”

I shake my head. Not in a no. Yes, in a no. No, wait. I bury my face in my hands.

He rests his palm on my shoulder. To comfort me? It has the opposite effect. “Answer me, Rebecca. Were you in the vision?”

“Okay, yes. Now can we go?”

Daniel curses, his hold intensifying until I look at him again. “What was it? Were they hurting you?”

I clench my fist. “It has to be wrong,” I whisper to myself.

“Are your visions ever wrong?”

I can’t breathe. I’m going to be sick.

“Rebecca, stop. You can’t give in to fear. Fear is useless. What did you see?”

I stare at him in terror anyway, and he finally seems affected by my reaction. “We were in the room. With Clausen and the others.”

“So, they got you too,” he says, but I shake my head. “What then?”

The words sound foreign to me. It makes no sense. “You were yelling and I…”

“Rebecca?”

Tears burn behind my eyes. It makes no sense! “I was holding a knife to your chest.”

He stills, the room settling in cold detachment. We stare at each other in the silence, his expression hardening into the same wall he uses against Clausen. Hurt, I reach for him but he backs away.

“I would never do that! Don’t you see? Something’s wrong. I don’t know what it means, but it can’t be what I saw. Something is messing up my visions!” I grab his sleeve, and he shrugs me off.

“Stay away from me,” he warns, reaching for the door.

“Don’t go. Please! I only told you so we can figure out what it means and fight it. You know my heart. You know that doesn’t make sense!”

He shakes his head and pulls open the door. “It makes perfect sense. I told you how this ends.”

“Daniel!” I stagger after him just in time to see him crash into Ben and Laura returning to the suite.

I hear the knocks, the voices. Of course they’re concerned, given what they just saw, but the problem is in what they didn’t see. What they will never see. What no one sees except the lone warrior who’s shoved me back to enemy lines. After several ignored attempts, Ben and Laura let themselves in.

“What happened? What did he do to you?” Ben asks, rushing to my side. Even Laura hovers at the edge of my bed with a concerned expression.

“It’s a good thing we came back when we did. Should we call Clausen?” Ben asks.

“No!” I blurt out. “It’s nothing. Daniel didn’t do anything.”

Ben and Laura exchange a glance, and my heart shifts from distress to survival.

After everything I’ve done, and apparently will do to Daniel, I can’t bear responsibility for anything else.

I force myself up on the mattress, rubbing any lingering emotion from my eyes.

“It was just a stupid argument. I had a rough day and took it harder than I should.”

“An argument about what?”

I buy time by pulling in a long draught of air as if to steady myself. Campus bad boy. Violent criminal. Drug addict.

Bingo.

“It was stupid. I thought he took something of mine. He was in his room when I got back, and I couldn’t find my medication. After everything you’ve said about him, I thought he stole it, but he didn’t. I found it in my bag and now I feel like a jerk. He probably hates me now.”

I hold my breath, waiting… waiting.

They burst into laughter. “That’s it?” Laura says. “That’s what you’re so upset about? Daniel hates everyone, sweetheart.”

“He does,” Ben adds with an encouraging nod. “And you’re not the first person to make that mistake, believe me. Seriously, he brings it on himself.”

I force a smile, hoping my expression is believable and makes it look like their encouragement is working. Hard to tell when my insides are still a tangled mess.

“Do you want to do something? Take your mind off it?” Laura asks. The offer is so shocking, I almost accept.

“Thanks, but I should probably get some sleep. I think that’s part of the reason I overreacted.”

“You’re still adjusting. It’ll get better,” Ben says, touching my arm. I swallow the instinctive recoil, relieved when they move toward the door, still chuckling about my “overreaction.”

Alone again, I drop back to the bed, my pulse pounding in my ears.

That was close. Too close, and dangerously loaded with everything Daniel’s been trying to warn me about since the beginning.

This is what he meant. This is the trap set by good intentions, why we can’t be friends.

I have to distance myself before I destroy us both.

Still, I can’t do it without an honest goodbye.

I sift through my desk and tear off a scrap of paper.

Novels-worth of words pass through my head but none that will send my message without posing a risk if intercepted.

How do you disguise, I don’t want to say goodbye?

After multiple failed attempts, I settle on a simple sentence that only he’ll understand.

I peek into the common area of the suite and listen for evidence of my roommates.

Muted giggles erupt from behind Laura’s door, proving it’s safe to slip out and into Daniel’s room.

I scan the space, freshly straightened from the last invasion, and tuck the note beneath the toothpaste in his vanity drawer.

After scurrying back to the safety of my own quarters, I draw in a deep breath.

Sinking against the door in relief, I feel better having made my choice.

It’s the right one, the only one, and now that it’s made, it’s time to face reality.

If I can’t leave like he wanted, I have no choice but to disguise my trigger.