Page 31

I hope Daniel will be waiting for me in my room after dinner. I practice my smile on the way back to the suite. Adjust my hair, clothes, and breath. I rush into the common area and pull open my door.

Dark.

Empty.

Disappointment seeps out in a long exhale. Maybe it’s for the best. We can’t take risks while others are still roaming the halls.

But the minutes turn to hours as I wait, the hours to fear. He wouldn’t be cruel enough to stand me up. He can’t, and yet the alternative... I stare at the clock that keeps changing in its merciless climb toward morning.

“Where are you?” I whisper, trying to calm the rising alarm.

His face. His touch. His smell. His smile. It’s all there, filling my head, triggering chills and panic and—

An explosion in my skull.

Excruciating pain.

I cry out, grasping my head as memories pound through my brain. Blur after blur materializes into the missing images. Thoughts, emotions, it all comes flooding back in vivid detail. Maybe it’s my abilities, maybe the drugs diminished his, but the memories have returned. They’re back!

I ransack the new clues for any fragment that could lead to Daniel. So many paths, and they all point to one place. One awful room at the end of an icy corridor.

I shiver and hug my arms around a pillow.

Sleep eludes me for the rest of the night, and the journey to breakfast becomes a death march. My tablemates must sense my sour state and leave me alone to stare at my plate. The empty chair to my left screams louder than the animated conversations around me.

Daniel’s seat is empty at group too, and a thorough scan of the gym confirms his absence there as well. By the time I return to my room at the end of the night, I’ve been reduced to a moping puddle.

“You look terrible.”

I barely contain my screech when I see him propped up in what’s become his chair. I launch into him, clinging with everything I’ve wanted to give him for an entire day now.

He hisses in a sharp breath, and I pull back. “You look terrible, too. What happened?”

His silence is worse than a response.

“You were downstairs,” I whisper. He looks away and clenches his jaw. I take his hand, but the vision isn’t what I want.

“You got your memories back,” he says, changing the subject.

“Yes, last night. I don’t know how, but all of a sudden I remembered everything.”

He shakes his head. “You’re amazing. They should be gone.”

“Maybe you didn’t do as good of a job as you thought,” I tease.

His smile... hurts. “Maybe.” Then he grows serious. “You can’t tell anyone. If Clausen finds out, we’ll have no hope.”

I roll my eyes. “Give me some credit. I already figured that out. Hey, they’re not locking you up anymore.”

He doesn’t look as relieved as he should. “They never wanted to in the first place. They only did it to make you happy. It’s a drain on resources.” My mind wanders again, and he sighs. “I’m sorry for not coming last night. Now you know why.”

“Did they just release you?”

“I came right here.”

I push myself up and move to the bathroom.

“Where are you going?”

“I don’t want your blood all over my chair.”

“How do you know there’s blood?”

I point at the red splotches seeping through his shirt, and he releases a breath.

“Oh.”

I smile when I return with a towel. “I’ll just say I cut myself shaving. It’ll be easier to explain blood on a towel than a leather chair.”

“Severe reading injury?”

“One heck of a papercut.”

“Give me that.” He grabs the cloth and rolls up his sleeve.

“The one on your chest is worse.”

“What, you’re a nurse now?”

“You’re giving me a lot of practice.”

He sends me a wry look. My humor fades the longer I study him. “What happened? That’s not from a beating.”

His veiled reaction supports my theory.

“Nothing you need to worry about.”

“No?” I touch his chest, and he gasps. “Those weird patterned wounds?”

“Wow, you really did get your memory back.”

“Is it?”

He adjusts the cloth on his arm. “I said, don’t worry about it.”

“And you already know I will.”

“Yeah? And what exactly are you going to do to fix it?”

“I don’t know. But maybe I can help if you let me try.”

“It seems like all we ever do is play hospital.”

“That’s because the only time you let me see you is when you’re too weak to disappear.”

“Ah. So I’m just supposed to hang around your room all day, waiting for you?”

“That would be nice,” I say with a grin.

He chuckles. “You’re actually picturing it!”

“No fair. Stop reading my thoughts.”

“Then don’t make them so entertaining. Do I have to wear the apron, though?”

“Shut up! I didn’t think that,” I laugh, taking his hands.

My face falls at the new vision, and his smile dies as well.

He’s silent as I watch, and the burn of tears chokes my throat.

I close my eyes and grip harder, allowing each detail to sear my conscience.

Clausen is there, his cold, calculated gaze observing from behind the table.

Chambers to his left, executing the calm directives.

Daniel writhing, twisting against the restraints on his wrists.

I have trouble remaining still as a more frightening emotion takes over: rage. Hatred. Yes, I hate them.

Daniel pulls away, and I open my eyes. We stare at each other.

He’s reading every thought and feeling inside me, and I wish I could offer more.

Instead, I kiss him. I have to. His initial wince doesn’t stop us, and he reaches for me as well.

The vision returns, terrifying and gruesome, but exactly what I need to experience the depth of our bond.

His touch ignites my skin, burns away the trauma, exposes the darkness.

I sigh when he flinches and hunches over.

“I’m sorry,” he says, shifting in the chair.

“For what? That your torture got in the way of our foreplay?”

His lips twist up, and I squeeze his hand before letting go.

“Will you let me see if there’s anything I can do about these injuries that ruined the moment I’ve been fantasizing about for weeks?”

“Your fantasies…” He shakes his head with a smile. “Damn, if this ever happens you’re going to be pretty disappointed.”

“Really? I’m not worried. Something keeps the girls hanging on.”

He laughs and allows me to pull him up. We limp toward the bed, and I do my best to support him as he lowers himself to the mattress. I have to wait while he catches his breath.

“Was this about the Senator?”

He doesn’t respond, and I sigh.

“Here, let me see.”

“You and I both know there’s nothing you can do.”

I know, but…

“You’re already doing what you can. Just let this one go, okay?”

I hate that maybe he’s right. Maybe I don’t want to know what he’s hiding under his bloody shirt.

“What are they trying to accomplish now?”

He closes his eyes. “You already know I won’t answer that.”

I grunt and drop to the bed beside him. “Fine. Are they still keeping you in that closet?”

“No. I’m in another suite. All three of them hate me, so I don’t think Clausen is concerned about a repeat of what happened in Birchwood.”

“Does he still think I’m mad at you?”

Daniel nods. “I should go, though. If someone catches me near you, all of this was for nothing.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t play my part as well as I should have. I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you.”

“You didn’t know.”

“No, but I should have trusted that you did.”

“Don’t be too hard on yourself. We may have ended up here anyway.” His face darkens. “Stop. You can’t think like that.”

I bite my lip. “I know it seems impossible, but I have to do something.”

He shakes his head. “There’s nothing you can do. I told you, there’s only one escape for me. One way to shut this place down.”

“No. I can’t accept that. There’s never only one way. You said it yourself in group yesterday. Every person is a different person with different people. Isn’t that also true of situations? You couldn’t have tried everything because you didn’t have me before.”

“Damn,” he mutters, and I grin.

“That’s all I wanted.”

“What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be with your new suitemates?” Ben grumbles at breakfast.

“There was room in the suite, not at the table. Besides, I missed you, bro.”

I avoid Daniel’s eyes as I take my own chair. The heat of his presence causes enough problems without the intensity of his devastating gaze.

“We thought they finally did the smart thing and got rid of you, and, lo and behold, you get a freaking upgrade.”

“Dude, Oakland is not an upgrade. Don’t the Davis brothers live there?” Christopher says.

Daniel shrugs.

I stiffen. “The Davis brothers?”

Christopher leans forward in conspiracy mode. “Rumor has it they once burned down the field house in the East Lawn.”

“Not true,” Daniel mutters, but Christopher is on a roll.

“They also beat a guy to unconsciousness because he bumped into one of them.”

“That’s true, but you’re missing most of the story.”

Christopher gives his critic a look, but Daniel only shrugs again.

“Anyway, they hate you, don’t they?” he says, and my nerves flare into alarm.

Daniel glares at him. “Who doesn’t? And since when are you worried about my safety?”

Christopher holds up his hands and leans back. “Hey man, I’m just filling in Rebecca. Trust me, we all know if anyone can handle them, it’s you.”

Daniel rolls his eyes. Our classmates love to gossip behind his back, but it’s clear Daniel’s a feared entity.

I sense him tense beside me and know he’s listening to our thoughts.

Meet me later? But he doesn’t respond.

You’re infuriating, you know that?

A smirk lifts his lips before the rest of the table quiets. I turn to see Director Clausen approach.

“Come, Daniel. Let’s go,” he says, motioning him up.

My ex-roommate only appears amused as he pushes his chair back with great ceremony. “Ladies and Gentlemen, it’s been a pleasure almost dining with you.”

“Knock it off,” Clausen says, shoving him toward the door.

The cocky smile never leaves his face as the guards usher him out.

“What was that all about?” I ask as soon as Daniel slips into my room and closes the door.

“You’re referring to my dramatic lunchroom exit?”

“Are you okay?”

“Never better.”

“Daniel.”

“What?” He lowers himself to his chair. “I’m fine. That wasn’t a fact-finding invitation. They had a visitor they wanted me to interview.”

I evaluate him and conclude he’s telling the truth.

“Wow, you actually believe me for once.”

“You’re the one who gives me reason not to all the time.”

He shrugs.

“So who was it?”

“You really think I’m going to tell you?”

“It’s up to you. We can talk about that or the Davis brothers. You pick.”

He grunts. “What is it with the Davis brothers? They’re little mice who happen to have a blow torch. That’s it.”

“You’ve been in a fight with them haven’t you.”

“A fight. No.”

His smile says otherwise, and I narrow my eyes. “Multiple fights then.”

“They started them.”

“Who won?”

“Who do you think?”

“Depends on what you meant by blow torch.”

He turns in his chair and raises his shirt. I gasp at the ugly scar. “That’s from them?”

“Well, Tracy, anyway. T.J. was holding me down.”

“I thought you said you won!”

“I did. It doesn’t mean I came away unscathed. It was my only play at the time.”

“You let them burn you as a strategy?”

“I’d rather it be on my terms than theirs.”

My blood runs cold. “And with Clausen?”

His casual shrug makes my blood boil.

“No! You don’t get to hide behind the tough guy act with me! Not after all we’ve been through. Answer me. Do you let Clausen hurt you on purpose?”

He leans forward, rubbing his forehead. “What do you want me to say? Does that make me less of a victim in your fairytale?” His gaze hardens, and I hate the way he studies me. “Deal with it. I’m not afraid to take a hit to gain the edge. I know that ruins your narrative.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“You know exactly what I’m saying.”

“Why are you acting like this?”

He squints a slow scan over me again. Suddenly, he lets out a breath. “I don’t believe it,” he mumbles, pushing himself to his feet. “It’s true.”

“What’s true? Where are you going?”

“You don’t have to worry about me, sweetheart. I can take care of myself.”

“Stop it. You can’t leave like this.”

His glare turns hostile, and I step back.

“You don’t get to tell me what to do. Especially now.”

“What are you talking about?” I say, terrified at his sudden transformation.

“Stop the games. I know!”

“You know what?”

“You’ve been using me this whole time, and I bought the entire thing. You don’t love me. You love the idea of me. You love your dark, tortured soul, victimized by his terrifying nightmare.”

Shocked, tears fill my eyes at the stranger before me. “That’s not fair.”

“Am I wrong? And here come the tears. Go ahead and cry, but later tonight you’ll realize I’m right. You can’t stand the fact that I don’t need you to rescue me. That maybe some of this twisted situation is really my doing after all. You can’t stand the fact that my reality is not your fantasy.”

“Where’s this coming from?” I stammer. “I don’t understand.”

“I’m not a saint, Rebecca. I’m damaged beyond repair. You’re not going to be able to fix me,” he spits. “Dream up whatever future you want, but leave me out of it.”

I stare at him, speechless. The air is thick, my stomach twisted in knots.

“You want to know where I was earlier?” he continues. “I was introduced to someone you know very well. Her name was Arlene Carson.”

I gasp. “My mom? Why?”

“Right. Like you don’t know?”

“What are you talking about? What’s going on?”

He reaches for the door. “I’m not sure how you managed to hide it from me, but you’re good. I’ll give you that.”

“Hide what?” I cry, near panic. “I have no idea what you’re talking about. Whatever it was, just tell me so we can discuss it. I love you. You know that!”

“Right,” he scoffs. “Well, I don’t need your love. I’ve got others for that, and they’re much more experienced than you.”

I reel from the blow. “What happened to you? What did they tell you?”

He’s gone before I can ask again.