Page 16

When nightmares haunt your waking hours, sleep is out of the question.

I barely make it to breakfast the following morning, and know from my brief stint with the mirror that I look as exhausted as I feel.

I scan the dining hall on my way to our table, hoping, and somewhat fearing, that Daniel will finally brave a meal.

My stomach sinks in disappointment at the empty chair beside mine.

“You made it,” Thomas says. “We were worried. Rough night?”

I slide into my seat, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. “Couldn’t sleep.”

“You missed a great movie,” Lucy says.

“Did Peter still die in the end?” I ask.

“Yes. Although this time he broke into song first. It was the musical horror version.”

I try to smile at the joke, grateful when the staff enters to begin the meal.

During roll call, my stomach clenches like it does every time I hear Daniel’s name. Absent again, of course. Does he ever eat? Another question I should have asked. Another thing he probably would have lied about anyway. Man, I just want to go back to bed.

Ben attempts an ill-advised conversation after the food is delivered, but finally gives up when I completely ignore his presence.

Laura seems unusually quiet as well, and I do all I can to avoid her accusatory glances.

By the time Clausen dismisses us for group sessions, I actually welcome the impending drama.

At least the hostility with Chambers is transparent and focused.

Except it’s Director Clausen who trails us into the classroom today.

Come to think of it, I don’t remember seeing Chambers at breakfast either.

I try not to react to the uncomfortable change, but my nerves flare when I see Daniel in his seat, disconnected and staring at the floor.

I attempt eye contact, but he doesn’t look up, and I take a chair several places away.

When I glance over again, Clausen targets me with a knowing smile I want to rip off his face.

I struggle to remain stoic through my rapid pulse, but his persistent stare finally wins out, forcing me to look away.

After the remainder of the class fills the empty seats, Clausen claps his hands.

“Good morning! I’m sure you’re surprised to see me, but as you’ve probably suspected, Ms. Chambers no longer feels comfortable conducting this class.

” He spreads a hard look around the circle, letting his words sink in.

“I will lead the discussions until we find a suitable replacement. Any questions?” He’s answered with silence, and after an excessive pause, takes his seat.

“Good. Let’s begin. Today, I would like to talk about Madison Academy and what you’ve gained from your experience so far. Who would like to start?”

I’m not sure why he even bothers with the general question. His agenda is clear when he targets his attention on Daniel.

“Mr. Mueller, since you have quite a bit of time to make up in these sessions, what are your thoughts? How has Madison Academy benefited you?” Daniel sends him an icy look, jaw clenched. “Come, you must have something to share after all these years beneath our protective roof?”

“The weight room,” he says, finally. “I’ve benefited a lot from that.”

The other students snicker at his taunt, but I cringe inwardly.

I hate how he baits the powerful man. I especially hate that he seems to enjoy it.

Maybe they both do, hunter and prey locked in a private war no one else recognizes.

But I do. I see it all in this moment, their hidden world that I may never understand enough to fully engage.

“I can tell, son. Congratulations on your enviable physique,” Clausen says dryly.

The class continues to rumble with amusement, but I don’t miss the bitter glances the two men exchange.

This game is far from harmless. They’re both coiled to strike.

“I think you know that’s not what I meant by my question. ”

Daniel crosses his arms, slouching further into indifference. “You know my reputation, what do you think I get out of my time here?”

Clausen’s eyes take on a disturbing glow. “You bring up an interesting point. Let’s talk about that. Class, Daniel wants to discuss his reputation. Steven, why don’t you start us off?”

Daniel’s gaze snaps to the director in alarm, and my stomach drops. The other student shifts uncomfortably.

“Go ahead,” Clausen says gently. “This may be helpful for him.”

Daniel’s expression goes blank as he drops his stare to the floor again.

“Well, sir, I guess…” The student’s eyes flicker to the target before focusing back on Clausen’s earnest expression. “I mean, we all know he doesn’t come to class a lot.”

Clausen nods slowly. “That’s fair. Daniel?

” The younger man doesn’t flinch, doesn’t even acknowledge the discussion, and I’m amazed by his ability to shut down.

“No answer. I guess we can assume there’s no rebuttal then.

What else? Come, who we are doesn’t matter if it’s not the person we project. Cindy, your turn.”

The girl looks nervous. “Maybe there’s an explanation. I mean, do you have trouble with mornings? Some people aren’t morning people. My brother was always a mess in the morning but he’d get so much done at night.”

Except for an almost imperceptible tightening in his fist, Daniel still doesn’t react. I watch the absent clench of his fingers, feeling sick.

“Daniel, don’t be rude. She asked you a question. A very considerate one at that. Good work, Cindy. It’s kind to give someone the benefit of the doubt.” Cindy smiles her gratitude at Clausen’s praise. My own fist clenches with the desire to punch him.

“I thought I made my opinion of these group sessions pretty clear yesterday,” Daniel mumbles in response.

“But that wasn’t a very kind answer,” Clausen says.

Daniel straightens, glare fixed on the director. “What are you doing?”

Clausen returns a confused expression. “We’re just trying to get at the heart of your resistance to the group. It’s safe here. What better place?”

“Safe? You’re setting me up to be attacked.”

“Calm down, son. Your peers are just trying to help.”

“Don’t call me that.” Flames shoot from his eyes.

“Okay, look. The fact that you’re feeling threatened is a positive sign. That’s a good start to any healing process.”

Daniel jumps up, shoving the chair back. “Like I said yesterday, this is bullshit. Keep the damn necklace.” He kicks the chair on his way to the exit.

“Hey, come back here! You are not handling this in a healthy manner. Daniel!” But the younger man ignores him and smashes through the door into the hallway.

I stiffen in my chair, fighting against my strong reaction.

For a brief moment, I fear I won’t be able to ward off my own internal fury at what just happened.

The last thing we need is a public display of our alliance, and I hope Clausen will dismiss us like Chambers did yesterday.

Instead, he brushes off the quarrel with a shake of his head and offers an apologetic look.

“I’m sorry, class. He’s been improving lately, and I thought he might be ready for the next step, but I suppose not.” He turns to me. “I especially apologize to you, Miss Carson. We wanted your first few days to be so special, and it seems we can’t quite make it work. I hope you can forgive us.”

Jackass.

I force a weak nod. “Healing requires pain,” I manage, and he raises his eyebrows in approval.

“That it does.”

“Of course, not all pain leads to healing.”

It’s his turn to force a smile, and he holds my gaze for an uncomfortable length. “Very profound, Rebecca. Do you have anything else to add?”

I smile and shake my head.

“How did it go today? Better than yesterday?” Anna crosses her legs and leans back in her chair.

“What’s the goal of this place, exactly? Are we supposed to be learning and growing? Because so far it feels like daycare.”

“That’s an interesting statement. Why do you say that?”

“The brochure and my orientation visit made it seem like we were going to take courses modeled after university curricula and learn more about our gifts. We would acquire skills to integrate into the rest of society and become best friends forever. But so far it seems like we get shuffled from one mind-numbing activity to the next. And don’t even get me started on the pointless group sessions. ”

“I’ve heard your sessions have been eventful. I can see why you’d question their value.”

“I didn’t come here for rehab. I thought this was a school, but it seems more like a treatment center. Does the staff think we’re sick and need to be fixed?”

“Are you?”

“In some ways, but no more than everyone else on the planet. I certainly don’t want to give up years of my life to sit around talking about my feelings and watching other people get humiliated.”

Crap. I suck in a breath as Anna considers my statement. “That’s a strong sentiment. Are you referring to something specific?”

I sigh, exhausted by the turbulence of the last few hours. “Nothing specific, I’m just afraid I made a mistake in coming here.”

“Are you thinking about leaving?”

“I don’t know, maybe.”

She nods, clearly not liking my answer. “I understand your frustration, but I really think you need to give it more time. Most of our students are overwhelmed for the first few days, especially until they form a circle of friends and settle into the groove of the schedule. I’m going to recommend additional counseling sessions in place of group until you feel better-acclimated. Would that help?”

“Maybe.” At the very least, I like the idea of less group sessions. After another pause, I glance up. “Anna, would I be able to leave here if I wanted to?”

She flinches at my question, hesitating. “I suppose,” she says finally. “But I hope you won’t. I’d strongly urge you to give it more time. Please talk to me about your concerns. I’m here to help.”

I smile weakly, wondering if that’s true. Does she even know if it’s true?