Page 13
I don’t believe his hostile look, and when I place my hand on his chest, his heart is pounding as intensely as mine.
He’s lying. He wanted that kiss as much as I did.
Still does from the rigid pressure against my core as I straddle him.
I’ve never wanted to touch something so badly in my life. To own.
“Look, I’m sorry for what just happened,” he says, softening into a new approach. “It doesn’t change anything. It was a mistake.”
“Why? You know how I feel. And you didn’t hate it either.” I reach down, and he flinches. “I can tell.”
“Don’t. Just—ah…” His eyes close as my own breath comes in short gasps.
My mouth finds his again, my body launching into a reflexive dance that leaves us both desperate.
Gosh, I wish we were somewhere else, anywhere free where he could touch me back.
I want his hands tearing at my clothing and devouring every blistering inch of my skin.
But we’re experimenting with heaven in Hell.
All we get is a seductive hint of what could have been an explosive encounter.
I’m the one to pull away this time. Take a few steps back. Clench my fists behind my back because I don’t trust myself. “Daniel, I—”
He cuts me off with a bitter shake of his head. “Feelings are useless and dangerous. Don’t say anything else.”
“You don’t mean that.”
“You can’t be here, Rebecca. You need to go.”
“What’s your gift? What are they so afraid of? Tell me and I’ll leave.” My fingers burn to touch him again, and I shove them in my pockets.
His beautiful eyes search mine as he wrestles with an answer. “I know their secrets,” he says finally. “There, now you know. Now go.”
“I know people’s secrets too.”
He cringes. “Not like that. Like… I can’t tell you more.”
“Please, Daniel. I want to help you.”
Fear springs to his eyes, and he clenches them shut.
“Stop saying that. You can’t help me. No one can.
Only the drugs help. Just—I’m begging you—go before you’re caught.
They forgot to lock the door. You shouldn’t have been able to get down here.
Don’t say a word to anyone. Ever. For your own protection. ”
Now he’s the insane one if he thinks that’s going to happen. “Are you serious? How would I possibly be able to walk around up there knowing you’re down here like this?”
His jaw tightens. “You’re not supposed to know any of this. I’ve done everything I can to make sure no one does.”
“But why? Why make everyone hate you for someone else’s crimes? Maybe if people understood—”
“Understood what? You don’t even understand! You have no idea what’s going on here. Just, if you want to help me, you’ll leave!”
“I’m not going to let you shove me away for my own protection. I don’t work that way.”
“It’s not your choice.”
“It should be.”
He lets out a frustrated breath, unmoved by my loyalty. “Fine. Then do it for me. You’re only going to make things worse for me if you’re caught.”
Bam. I wince from the verbal punch to the gut. My feet take an instinctive step toward the door. “There has to be something we can do.”
“There is.” His voice quiets as he looks away. “I do what they want and take their drugs.”
I freeze. “You’re not a drug addict. They’re sedating you.” My words filter out in a whisper.
His gaze lifts back to me in confirmation. “The drugs diminish my abilities. It makes them feel safer. Helps me function.”
“But you let everyone believe you’re some strung-out junkie!”
“What’s my alternative?” he fires back. “I can play the part like they want or rot down here permanently.”
“Is Clausen behind all of this? Are they experimenting on you?”
He visibly shuts down, and I know our conversation is over. “I’ve already told you more than I should have, more than anyone else knows. Please, if you want to help like you said, don’t tell anyone anything about this. Just pretend to hate me like everyone else.”
My head rejects his evasive maneuvers and launches a dozen protests. My heart can’t tolerate the thought of hurting him anymore. My hand calls a truce and touches his, but there’s no reward of the present this time, only another nightmare from his past.
I flinch and let go. “Is that really what you want? To be hated?”
I don’t believe his nod for a second. He probably doesn’t believe my acceptance of it either, but we’re past the truth now, long past the kiss that already feels like a lifetime ago.
“Fine, I’ll play along, but only until we think of a better option. You have to promise me one thing, though.” His gaze settles on me. “Accept the fact that I don’t hate you. That you actually have a friend. You’re not alone here anymore.”
His weak smile breaks my heart. “Thank you, but you don’t even know what you’re promising. You don’t know me, Rebecca. You don’t know this place. I won’t hold you to that.”
His denial stings, but I have no clue how to counter. Maybe he’s absolutely correct, and the prospect terrifies me. “What’s going to happen to you now? What am I leaving you to?”
Something dark flickers in his eyes before he forces it away. “Just some quiet time to think about my defiance before the next dose. After that, they’ll let me go, and we start over. See you tomorrow,” he adds with a weak smile.
He has to know I’m not buying it, but there’s no point in calling him on the lie and forcing another one.
“Can we drop the act in our room at least?”
His expression is far from encouraging. “You have to go. Please,” He’s flat-out begging now, and I have no defense against that.
I nod and allow my eyes to speak the volume of emotion tearing through me. “I saw her, Daniel. I saw her here with you.”
A muscle moves in his jaw at the mention of his mother. “Go. Tell no one.”
Out of excuses, I surrender with one last gaze. I’ve never hated myself more as my painful retreat echoes through the dark hallway.
After leaving Daniel in the basement, I push through the stairwell door to return to the main floor and rattle the latch on the other side.
This time the lock holds, and I lean against the cold glass in defeat.
One day as a student at Madison Academy.
My first day should be filled with massaging a sore jaw from smiling too many introductions.
Nervous about remembering names and whether I’m wearing the right shoes.
At one day, my life should be simple, not crammed with a decade’s worth of drama.
I don’t know what to do with this one day, how to engage crisis after a lifetime of forced apathy.
Maybe I’m not strong enough for this. Probably not, but until I can eject Daniel from my soul it doesn’t matter.
One day of feeling something real for the first time in my life.
I never knew passion for anything. I thought I didn’t need it until I brushed it.
Now it’s a drug, igniting a survival instinct I didn’t know I had.
Daniel is more than an attraction. His complex story has rewired my existence.
The how baffles me, but not the what. I’ve been scarred with purpose. Terrifying, electrified purpose.
Daniel’s mystery may have become my cause, but his hatred of those around him seems genuine.
I don’t doubt those years of isolation for someone else’s sins have led to bitterness he keeps in check through detachment.
Somehow I’ve broken through his wall, and I suspect he knows more about what’s happening between us than he’s letting on.
Maybe it has something to do with his gift.
Does he know all of my secrets as well? I have nothing to hide, I just don’t know if I’m ready to take on the war that comes with it.
As the volume of residents grows in the hallway, I start to understand Daniel’s attempt to protect me with ignorance.
All my efforts to tear back the layers of this new reality don’t erase my obligations to the old one.
I’m still Rebecca Carson, new student extraordinaire, and I have exactly three minutes to figure out how to fake the part.
Daniel plays the game to perfection, but I can’t imagine waltzing into a silly group session knowing about that room.
Knowing why there’s an empty chair in our circle.
But I rejected his warnings, and now, for his sake, have to force the impossible trek back to our other world—even if I have no idea how I’ll pull it off.
I draw in a deep breath and join the line filing into Chambers’ classroom. The instructor singles me out for a greeting, and I force a smile.
“You returned. I hope you have more to share this afternoon. We welcome your thoughts.” Her words sound hollow, fitting for these shallow wastes of time.
“Thanks. I don’t want to cause trouble, though.”
Chambers pats my shoulder as I pass. “Don’t worry about that. We’re all free to speak our minds here.”
I take my seat, not at all comforted. Another girl sits beside me and hesitates before leaning in. “Hi, I’m Sara.”
Surprised, I smile back. “Hi. Rebecca.”
Sara clears her throat. “Look, I just wanted to say that I really respect what you said this morning. Most of the time, if anyone talks, they only tell random stories about crap that happened at breakfast. No one ever says anything important.”
I shrug, not surprised. “I said what needed to be said. If you really want to get close to someone you have to let down your guard, and I don’t think that can happen here.”
“I know. I’ve been at Madison for a couple of years now and don’t feel close to anyone.”
“Well, you already know what you’re going to get from me.”
Her smile brightens into a genuine expression I truly believe. “That’s why I’m here. So what’s your gift?”
“I see things about people,” I say, already liking this girl. “Memories mostly. What about you?”
“Wow! Mine’s not nearly as interesting.” She pulls off a glove and traces her finger along the chair, creating a dark line.
“You draw with your finger?”
She chuckles. “Yep, that’s it.”
“You never have to worry about forgetting a pen, I guess.”
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13 (Reading here)
- Page 14
- Page 15
- Page 16
- Page 17
- Page 18
- Page 19
- Page 20
- Page 21
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- Page 24
- Page 25
- Page 26
- Page 27
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- Page 29
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- Page 31
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- Page 40
- Page 41
- Page 42
- Page 43
- Page 44