Page 172 of Gates of Tartarus
“When you called me and told me to drop in on Elizabeth, I wasn’t… I wasn’t expecting what I found out.”
“I was hoping you wouldn’t, but…” Kailani shrugs. “It was just… something was off that day. Something I’d never felt from her before, you know?”
I cock my head. “What’s it like, knowing what people are feeling all the time? I mean, everyone can sense the atmosphere of a room or read gestures, but what you can do goes far beyond that, doesn’t it?”
“It’s a life stripped bare of any comforting pretense.” Kailani’s voice is low. “We’re all made up of myriad layers, an outer shell that we choose to show to the world, and then inner faces that we share with co-workers, friends, family, going deeper each time. Your partner, I guess, comes closest to the core of you. It’s why we speak of soulmates. But everyone needs a private space, don’t they? You can love someone to their bones, but that doesn’t mean youlikethem all the time. People argue; they get upset, think hurtful things, and project hurtful feelings. It’s natural. And then they make up, don’t they? That private space is a safety valve. But it doesn’t exist with me. There’s nowhere for my friends to go. And nowhereIcan go. I have to try to put up mental firewalls, for want of a better term. People might think it’s an advantage, being able to see beyond the surface. But honesty can be bleak.”
I bite my lip. What she’s describing sounds like a slow form of insanity.
“Sorry.” She smiles wryly.
“Don’t be,” I counter. “It’s not a choice, is it? Having these abilities?” I catch a movement out of the corner of my eye but am distracted when she barks out an unexpected laugh.
“It sure as fuck isn’t,” she replies, voice dark and heavy. For a moment, Kailani is silent, then asks, “So, what’s it like for you?”
“Telesthesia?” I prop my chin in my hand, considering. “Have you ever had a really vivid dream, so lifelike that you could swear the next day that it actually happened, and it’s a shock to realize it didn’t?” At her nod, I continue: “Well, for me, it’s a shock to realize that some of my dreams, or my visions now, I guess, are actually true. I go through the whole process – that odd, unsettling sensation that you get, the slight disconnect – and even though I know that what I’m seeing is real, my brain is still telling me it can’t be. The whole thing really messed with my sense of reality in the beginning. I’m not sure what’s going to happen if and when I do develop precognition. Probably end up in a loony bin.”
Her eyes warm with sympathy. “I’m sure your team won’t let that happen. After all,” she says tartly, “we’re valuable tools.” She crumbles a bit of scone between her fingers.
“I don’t knowwhathappened this morning. They’ve been a bit overprotective for the past few days, ever since we found out about Elizabeth, and then, all of a sudden, they’re trotting me out like a prize pony. What is it: my pet psychic is better than your pet psychic?”
“Something like that. I guess we’re the latest penis extensions on the market.”
I choke on my coffee. “Eee – it went up my nose! It went up my nose!”
“Worried that your shiny red sports car just isn’t enough anymore? Does your friend have a bigger engine? More muscle? Better throttle? Superior holding power and performance?” Kailani intones. “Then step right up, folks, and bag yourself a pet psychic, this season’s latest accessory! If you order now, we’ll throw in a set of steak knives!”
“Stop! Stop! You'll make me snort!” I’m giggling helplessly, and Kailani joins in, bright laughter peeling out of her.
“Sooo,” she begins, a mischievous look on her face, then pauses and cocks her head with a smile. “Speaking of…”
I don’t have a moment to wonder what she means before Kavi walks through the door, glances at our table briefly, then orders a takeaway coffee for himself. Kailani watches me through amused eyes, something in her expression making my cheeks heat to bright pink.
“Well. He’s broadcasting loud enough to wake the dead,” she says, grinning. “I’m shielded like fuck and I can still feel him.”
“What... um... what…” I’m not sure how to ask the question, and her grin scrunches into a smooshed face.
“I’m guessing from his read you know all about that one’s holding power and performance…” she says, choking on her coffee at my expression.
I literally do not know what to say or where to look. “Uhhh…” I mean, obviously, I would love to be in a position to attest – of course, from what I’ve seen in our yoga sessions, he… well, for hours... but since we found out about Elizabeth, there hasn’t been an opportunity. I wondered if Jorge or Emlyn might have said something, but clearly not. Of course, I can’t blame them too much. Dropping a “Maela and I got it together last night, so you can too” into the breakfast conversation would be awkward. Not to mention patriarchal and condescending. So it’s up to me. As soon as things are less crazy.
“Well, Maela Driscoll?” She gives me a wide-eyed, innocent stare.
I’m so flustered I blurt out, “Hah, hah, hah! In answer to your question, no. Well, yes, but only from practice.”
“Practice? Isthatwhat they’re calling it now?” She nods sagely.
“You have a dirty mind, Kailani Reed.” I point the knife at her, pausing in the midst of scone preparation. “And you?” I trill. “Anything going on with Thor? What about Heathcliff, anything there? Any late-night meetings? Your team must work you pretty hard. Relentlessly. Ruthlessly, even. You must be exhausted keeping up with all of their demands.”
It’s her turn to blush. “Oh. Umm.”
“Ah ha! So…….? Who’s the lucky guy? The one with the cheekbones? Or, ooh, long hair and leather thong?”
“I think you’ll find that our team has an excellent rapport,” she says primly, her cheeks deepening to dusky rose. “Steady yourself. He’s coming over.”
“You need to get better at changing the subject,” I drawl, one eyebrow sliding up. Great – now Emlyn’s got me doing it too. I’m about to lay odds that she’s just trying to distract me, but I would have lost that bet. They have, in fact, sent Kavi as the sacrificial lamb. If I’d had to choose someone, I’d have thought they’d send Jorge, but remembering how he was hoping Kailani would give him some pointers, maybe he hadn’t wanted to take the chance of pissing her off any more than he already had.
Kavi holds his hands out wide in a gesture of surrender as he approaches the table. “I come in peace,” he murmurs penitently, eyes downcast, but with a smile lurking round the corners of his mouth. “And bearing a message.”
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