Page 123 of Gates of Tartarus

Walker shifts back and forth on his feet, alternating between looking at me and staring at the ceiling. He finally looks somewhere over my shoulder before clearing his throat and setting his features to be neutral.

“Ah... when did this all happen?” he says carefully.

“Now, more or less,” replies Lachy. “Go away.”

“Kailani? Can I talk to you for a minute?” he asks. “Without these two?”

I shake my head slightly, still sore from the previous day. “What’s up, Walker? Can you just... Is it important?”

I can see him steeling himself before he begins speaking. He moves forward slowly to sink to the floor in front of me and takes both my hands in his, ignoring the glares from either side.

“Kailani,” he begins cautiously, “you just got out of the hospital. They said you probably have a concussion, possible damage... Are you… did you... do you feel pressured in any way? Do you feel safe?”

I canfeelthe anger swell from either side of me in crashing waves, and I gasp briefly before pulling my hands from Walker to lay one each on Lachy’s and Jonah’s arms.

“Stop,” I say, closing my eyes and breathing deeply, trying to strengthen my walls.

“Yeah, dude. Fucking quit it,” Jonah growls out, a completely surprising sound from him, which is echoed by a grumble of assent from Lachy.

“No!” I say firmly. “YOU two. Stop it.”

The anger tumbles away almost comically and is replaced by shock and surprise. I take Walker’s hands in my own and smile softly at him.

“Walker. That is so incredibly thoughtful of you. And if these two would get their heads out of their asses for a second, they’d realize that you’re just trying to look out for me, especially after everything that’s happened.”

I see Jonah’s face fall slightly beside me, and he looks somewhat abashed.

“Seriously. Thank you so much. But… um... I’m okay. And I think... I mean, the girlfriend thinghasjust happened, but the rest of it has happened before. I mean, not like this. The kissing. That’s what I… not the all of us thing... Jesus. So, it’s cool?” I’m so deeply uncomfortable trying to explain everything, and blow my hair out of my face in a huff, before covering my face with my hands. “Yeah. So Jonah and Lachy are my... boyfriends?” The last word is said in a kind of squeaky question, happiness, confusion, and deep fear at war inside me.

Walker reaches up and takes one of my hands off my face and looks at me consideringly. “Thesetwo?”

I nod. “Yeah…”

“And thisjusthappened?

“Yes. Yeah. Oh!” I say, startled. “Yes. This wasn’t a thing when…” I trail off, feeling incredibly awkward, sitting between two guys I’ve kissed, looking at a third guy I’ve made out with.Jesus Christ, Kai. Keep it in your pants!

He rubs his thumb over my hand, staring at where our fingers are interlocked, and says, almost under his breath, “I didn't know you were accepting applications.”

My eyes flare open, and I sense more than see Jonah and Lachy exchange looks.

“I’m... what?”

He smiles at me ruefully. “I was under the impression that you weren’t interested in anything serious or long term, or I would have sent in my resume.”

“I was under the impression thatyoudidn’t reallylikeme!”

He makes a kind of chuffing sound, somewhere between a laugh and a growl. “Well, where do I send my references to be reviewed for a position? If thisjusthappened then there’s room to... I don’t know. Put me in, Coach. I’m ready to play.”

“I... I…” I stutter, completely bewildered with the direction this day has taken. Lachy and Jonah are quiet, waiting patiently to see how the conversation between Walker and me goes, taking their cues from me. “I… You know I havetwoboyfriends now, right? I mean…” I wave my hands around helplessly. “I don’t even know howthisis going to work! Or why anyone would agree to this... situation… Whywouldanyone agree to this situation?” I say, worry entering my voice. Lachy and Jonah grin at each other, and I groan. “Stop it, you two! You’re all bromancing with secret looks, and I havenoclue as to what is happening!”

Walker sits in front of us, a half-smile on his face as he watches the interaction between us.

“This isn’tnormal!” I say, half-exasperated, half-fearful. Fearful that it’s all going to blow up in my face spectacularly, that I’m going to lose everyone who matters to me, and chills suddenly run down my spine. “You haven’t thought this through… I don’t date… I can’t… This is a mistake…” The beginnings of a panic attack hit me, spots appearing before my eyes, and I suddenly feel like I’m breathing through a straw after running a marathon.

I think it’s the fear in my voice that catches Lachy’s attention.

“Kai, Kai,” he croons softly, “it’s okay. It’s okay. You’re not going to lose us.”