Page 121 of Gates of Tartarus

“Where’s the firewood?” he asks tightly, obviously feeling out of place. Somehow Jonah and Lach give the impression of a single unit, and Walker is definitely on the outside of it.

“We’re out,” Lach says shortly. “There’s an axe by the shed outside, and a couple logs that need to be broken up. I’ll do it in a few.”

Walker frowns and shakes his head. “I can do it. I used to split wood when I was in the mountains. You need anything before I go?” He looks down at me with soft eyes, but Lachy interrupts.

“We’ll get her anything she wants.”

Walker’s eyes narrow, but he nods once and heads out the door.

“How are you, Kai?” Jonah’s smoky voice wraps around me as he comes to adjust my blanket, and I turn my head into him, smelling salt water and storms. He somehow always smells like the ocean, and I sink into him.

“I’m okay. Just tired, I think. But I can’t sleep. I just can’t.”

There’s a long pause, and Lachy says gently, “Are you feeling up to a quick conversation?”

Eyes still closed, I pull away from Jonah, guilt swirling through me. I’m sure this is about kissing them in the hospital, and I can’t face it. “Later? Can we just watch a movie or something?”

Lachy sighs, and I crack my eyes open to see him looking at me through careful eyes. “Now’s better, Suge. There are some things we need to talk about. I think it will help.” There’s a heavy pain in the pit of my stomach at his words, and I clench the blanket in my hands like a child. “None of that,” he says soothingly. “That’s why I want to talk now. You’re carrying some stuff you don’t need to carry. There are just some… logistics... we need to talk through.” I look at him warily, cautious but curious.

“Jonah and I had a talk when we got back last night, when we had to leave you at the hospital.”

My spine straightens, and my eyes go a little wild. We hadn’t made any agreements or promises, but still, I felt like I had done something wrong, kissing Jonah and kissing Lachy. Lachy tuts in a quiet way, shaking his head slightly, and Jonah flops beside me on the couch.

“Kai, no worries, yeah? We just want to work through some things. And my man over there needs to tell you some stuff.”

Brow furrowed with confusion, I look at Lachy. He grimaces slightly, like he's nothappy with what he's about to say, or maybe he thinks I’m not going to be happy about it.

“So, Kailani…” he begins.

Well, shit. This can’t be good.

He pauses, searching for words, and, oddly, looks to Jonah for help. Jonah nods like he’s got it and takes my hand. “So Kailani,” he echoes, making me smile slightly. “I like you, which you know.” He picks up my hand and kisses it, before dropping it back to his lap. “Lachy also likes you.” I feel my face starting to burn a little, being put on the spot between the two of them. “We both want to date you.”

“I... I can’t…” I try to respond, and Lachy shakes his head at Jonah, rolling his eyes.

“No, Suge. We’reaskingyou... to dateus.” My eyes fly open in surprise, and Lachy huffs slightly, before coming to sit in front of me.

“Well now, this is the part you may not like, Kailani. Jonah and I have been talking, and we’re both pretty sure I’m a kind of Bleeder.”

I startle but try to quiet my movements so I can listen.

“I’ve known for a long time that I feel sick around too many people. I get headaches really badly, sometimes get sick to my stomach. That’s why I ended up out here…” he waves around at his cabin vaguely. “I like being as far away from people as possible, but not so far away I become a hermit or something. And I can always tell when people are in pain, or hurting. Not so much if they’re happy or anything like that, but pain? Yeah. I can always tell.”

“If I’m around someone in too much pain, emotionally or physically, it’s like I can feel it seep into me, like sludge in my blood. I can’t control it... it's not like I try to take it in. It just happens. And then it takes a couple of days for it to be cleaned out of my system. It just lessens over time, until it’s gone. I always thought I was imagining it, thought it was a kind of aura for a migraine, because I’d always get laid up for a couple of days after. It wasn’t really until I met you that I thought it might be something different. But the way you described Bleeders... I thought it didn’t really fit me. I don’t just take the emotion and let it go? It seeps into me and takes time to go away. But Jonah thinks that’s just my version of Bleeding. That not all Bleeding is the same.”

“Oh my God, Lach,” I begin, horrified. “All those times I lost it in front of you... it wasn’t because you were letting me have time to get over my embarrassment. You were laid up in pain? Because of me?”

He frowns, shaking his head. “Notbecause of you, Cher. Because of this thing I have. I started to think it might be something different because I could feel you, I could tell when you were upset, or in pain. You didn’t ask me or make me come over to see you. I wanted to help you. And I’d do it a million times, consequences be damned. Because of how I feel about you, Kai.”

I sit unmoving, stunned by Lachy’s revelation. Jonah takes back over.

“Soooo, we’ve been talking,” he points to himself and Lachy. “I think we can work on his blocking, maybe make him stronger and more able to control everything. But that’s going to take time, right? And until then, Lachy can’t travel with us, or go out too often beyond his known area. So he’d feel better knowing you have someone who cares about you watching out for you when he’s not there.”

“I don’t... I don’t understand.”

Jonah’s smile drops from his face for a minute, and he looks at me seriously.

“He wants someone to watch out for you when he can’t be there. I want someone who can take your pain away when it threatens to drown you. What canIdo, Kailani?” he says bitterly. “I can take your pleasure. Whatgooddoes that do?”