Page 7 of Fragile (Cedar Lakes University #2)

Chapter six

Quinn

“Oooh, what about him?” Indie asks with her pointer finger outstretched. She’s taking this whole ‘Quinn goes dating’ thing incredibly seriously. I follow her line of sight and grimace, my nose wrinkling in protest.

“Ashley Prescott?” I question, equal parts horrified and in disbelief that my friend would suggest him. The guy is gorgeous, and he knows it. All wide grins and floppy blond hair, big, flexing biceps, and he’s on the lacrosse team. I don’t think I want to go there. He also sleeps with anything that has a pulse. “Hard pass.”

Indie snorts a laugh as she brushes her blonde curls away from her face, and continues perusing the cafeteria of unknowing suitors, all for my benefit. They squirrel around innocently, going about their day, with no idea they’re being scouted by us—or, more accurately, my best friend and her shrewd gaze. “Hmm, slim pickings here today. I know some guys in my music classes.”

I can tell she already knows my heart isn’t in it. I’m lovesick, have been my whole existence, and there’s no cure. Yet here I am, trying to move on.

I shrug, lowering my chin into the palm of my hand, my gut churning at the thought of not getting what I ultimately want. “There’s no point.”

Indie’s hand slaps down on the table between us, startling me for a second. “There is a point,” she insists. Her wide blue eyes pin me with determination. She’s a great friend, the best, and I can’t imagine my life without her now. “You haven’t dated anyone since freshman year, and you can’t keep waiting for something to miraculously happen. That’s not the Quinn I know.”

I wave her off, even though she’s right. I’m stubborn and go after what I want. Well, usually. “I’ll get over it. This happens sometimes.” It’s the truth. I go through phases of love and loss without having ever romantically been involved with the person I love. It’s like sunshine without the warmth. Ice cream without the sugar high. But the thing is, I wouldn’t change how I feel.

Unrequited love sucks. But never having known what it’s like to love him, even if it’s from afar, that would suck more. I know I only have myself to blame because I expose myself to him almost daily and remain silent. No words pass my lips as my heart ricochets around my chest when he’s nearby. Not a single syllable slips out to admit the truth as my body thrums when he walks into a room. I’ve trained myself well to appear nonchalant, yet inside I’m burning, yearning, and testing the limits of how high my blood pressure can go.

“I’m not accepting that.” One thing I know about Indie is, she rarely gives up when her sights are set on something. “You need to date again,” she demands. I go to protest, but as luck would have it, Jay and Hudson choose this exact moment to join us at the table.

“Who needs a date? I’m available.” Hudson grins, mid-chomp on a carrot stick, placing his tray of food on our table. Jay sits next to him and shakes his head.

I’ve gotten used to Hudson’s advances. Weirdly, I think it’s just in his nature to be flirty and he doesn’t mean much by it. Unless he wants to piss my brother off.

“No one needs a date,” I say, just as Indie announces, “Quinn does.”

Excellent. Let’s bring more people into this.

I watch as Hudson’s grin grows and those dark brown eyes twinkle at me. “I’ve told you before, Quinn. I’m always down for a little action.”

“Oh, well, in that case, please whisk me away and do your worst, because I’m totally interested,” I quip. Fluttering my eyelashes at him, he just stares at me, food paused halfway to his lips.

“Wait—”

“It’s called sarcasm, Huds. Don’t get excited.” As I roll my eyes playfully, Jay laughs next to him. He focuses his gaze on me and smiles.

“Como vais, Quinn?”

My brain immediately boots into Portuguese mode, the little I know, but I hesitate, thinking about how I want to say what I need to. “Estou de boa… E tu?”

His smile widens as he pushes his black-rimmed glasses up his nose. “Very good pronunciation. You’re doing well. I’m all good, though, if you don’t count the fact that Hudson here”—he elbows his friend in the ribs—“needed rescuing from a hookup gone wrong at two a.m. this morning.”

Hudson grunts and chews through his mouthful before answering. “She went all clingy on me. I freaked. She locked the door to her dorm and everything. I felt like I was trapped. The only way out was to tell her my best friend was outside having an anaphylactic shock and I had his EpiPen.”

Silence dances over us as Indie frowns at Hudson. “Your logic is warped. Have you ever tried honesty?”

Hudson scoffs. “I told a girl once I was horny and wanted to have sex with her, and she slapped me and left. Honesty makes me an asshole, apparently.”

I stifle a laugh. Good for her, I’d slap him too. “With charming words like that? I’m shocked.” I mock gasp.

“I know, right?” Hudson agrees, then shoves more food into his mouth.

“You’re hopeless.” Jay snickers before devouring his pasta.

Hudson growls but says no more, and when he emerges a few minutes later from his now empty lunch plate, he locks eyes with me again. “So, why do you need a date?”

“I don’t need a date. I want a date. There’s a difference,” I insist, just as another body joins us and my skin prickles with awareness. I know exactly who has just sat next to me because my body is attuned to his nearness.

“Hey, Miles, we’re just helping Quinn get a date.”

“And you and Seb are not going to sabotage,” Indie adds with a pointed look.

I glare venomously at the people in front of me, my so-called friends who are insistent on meddling.

Hudson ignores me, continuing to talk to Miles. “You get the email from coach about the meet later?”

“Yeah, we’re reviewing tapes before the game.”

Hudson nods, and then Miles turns to face me, his brown eyes curious. “You want to date Hudson?” he asks, his low baritone voice hitting me square in the ribs, reminding me who I really want in this facade. Something rattles inside me like a loose screw, unsettling me again.

“Listen, I’m available—” Hudson begins.

“I was asking Quinn,” Miles cuts him off, his tone firmer than he’d usually speak, with an unreadable look in his eyes. “Well? Is that what you want?”

“Yeah, I want to date.” I fluster for a second before adding, “But not Hudson.” I cast an apologetic glance to him and return to Miles. “I want to be wanted by someone and get butterflies and have someone care enough to be around me without you and my brother ruining it.” I’m practically hissing, my sudden anger surprising me too.

My nostrils flare as I stare at him and he stares back, but nothing changes in the way he’s looking at me. I don’t know what I expected to happen, for him to suddenly confess his love for me? Hilarious.

“You don’t date much,” Hudson interrupts, breaking our eye contact as Miles looks away. Misplaced disappointment lines my stomach as I drag my gaze to the boy who’s more giddy puppy than linebacker. “So, I’m going to guess your type. Clearly, it’s not great if you don’t want me .” He leans toward me to whisper loudly, “Which is a mistake, by the way.” Leaning back, he continues. “I love love, and I’d be a great choice.” His eyes glitter with excitement.

“No, Huds. You love hooking up,” Jay counters, placing his fork on top of his empty plate.

He waves off Jay and begins searching the crowd around the room. “Let’s see who we’ve got here, then. We can’t have you going without sex.”

Groaning, I lower my head to the table with a light thud. This was a bad idea. “I said date . I know this might be foreign to you, Hudson, but people can date without sex to begin with.”

Hudson scoffs at my comment, not stopping his search.

“I wish I could help you and get him to stop,” Jay offers apologetically as I look up at him with pleading eyes. “But I’ve known him for years now, and he’s like a dog with a bone.”

Hudson rubs his hands together, mischief emanating from him. “Not him,” he says as he scans the room eagerly. “Nope. No. He’s not the one. No. Ahh, what about Zach Mackenzie?”

“The hockey player?” I ask, just as a grumbly noise echoes next to me. Was that Miles?

“Yeah. He’s over there,” Hudson says, pointing behind me, distracting me from overthinking the noise I think Miles made. Turning to rest my chin on my shoulder, to look subtly, I see Zach. He’s standing in front of the drink fridge, one hand leaning at the top as he flexes his hand against the door, and his muscles pop a little with the movement. I can’t deny the guy is insanely good looking, with his t-shirt rippling across his wide, muscled back. His dark hair is cropped short to his head, and his blue eyes are a stark contrast to his dark skin. The guy is a walking orgasm. “Oooh, Quinn is ogling him.”

Another grumbling noise next to me. I definitely didn’t imagine that one. He’s probably assessing the need to intervene and how to stop anyone from getting within fifty feet of me, but if he thinks he can stop me, he’ll have to answer to an incredibly determined Indie and now, apparently, Hudson too. “I am not ogling.” Zach’s beautiful, but he’s not the boy sitting beside me. And that is yet another reason I know I should start dating again—less exposure to my one true love, and more exposure to people I can learn to love. Foolproof, right?

“He’s fresh out of a relationship. His ex left him just before we got back this semester. I don’t know the full story, but he could be a fun time. Or are we looking for a long time?” Hudson asks and, truthfully, I don’t know.

“Uhhh,” I fumble, wringing my hands under the table.

“I think she needs to get railed.” Indie surprises me, and I spin to face her, mouth dropped open.

“Indiana!” I chastise.

She shrugs, casually sipping her water. “I speak the truth.”

“What about Killian from my photography class?” Jay suggests. “Do you know him? Tall guy, blond hair, lives in my dorm, usually at most parties we go to.”

“I know who you mean, but—”

“Not him,” Miles mumbles, but no one acknowledges him.

“There’s also Dylan. You know the drummer in my classes?” Indie interrupts, but all it does is fog my brain, and I feel my frustration like a frog in my throat. Am I not allowed a say in any of this?

“Pfft, a drummer?” Miles nudges me, eyebrow raised. I open my mouth to respond, but don’t get the chance.

“Or Guy from my business class. He’s always nice and super smart,” Jay suggests, just as Miles sighs, and I see his hand run down his face from the corner of my eye.

“Everyone, please—” I begin.

“Hey, Zach!” Hudson bellows, and I wish more than anything a giant sinkhole really would open up to swallow me whole. With strides of a true athlete, Zach strolls over to us with grace and speed, and when he gets to our table, I realize I’ve shrunk into myself.

“What’s up, Parker?” He addresses Hudson with a smile, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. They remain sad. Yeah, this guy is clearly still heartbroken over someone, and this is a terrible idea.

“Do you know Quinn?” Hudson asks, presenting me to him like a game show host. Where is that sinkhole, please, lord? I sit up straighter to offer a polite greeting.

His blue eyes land on my green ones, and he smiles. It’s honest and sweet, and I still can’t deny he’s really cute. “Yeah, you’re Dawson’s little sis, right?”

I nod. “That’s me. Also known as Quinn.” I wave and smile back at him, just as another growl rumbles through Miles.

“Why are you growling and mumbling over there, Cooper?” Indie asks, mirth lacing her tone.

His brown eyes narrow on her. “I’m not growling,” he says indignantly. “But if I was growling, I’d tell Mackenzie here to get lost and find another girl to hit on.” He changes in an instant and flashes a calculated grin at Zach, causing tension to slice through the table. Jeez Louise, is it hot in here?

Zach’s eyes go wide as he straightens and steps away from me. “I’m not, I mean… Quinn, you’re great and really beautiful, but uh… I just got out of a relationship, and I’m not really looking for anything.” The poor guy looks like he might throw up, which does wonders for a girl’s self-esteem.

My cheeks flame, the heat creeping under my skin like a disease, but I’m a pro at hiding how I’m feeling. “That’s okay. I’m also not looking for anything. These guys ran away with the matchmaker idea. Ignore them.”

Zach looks around nervously, and as he finds all eyes on him, a little blush colors the apples of his cheeks. “Okay, cool. There are some guys on my team who—”

“No,” Miles booms, and everyone swings their attention to him.

“No?” I choke out, staring at his stupidly handsome scowl.

“No hockey players,” he says casually, stabbing his fork into his salad and ignoring my death glare.

The balls on this guy. If I didn’t love him, I’d hate him. “Oh, and football players are better?” I challenge.

“Yes, we are.” He swings his gaze to Zach. “Sorry, dude, she won’t be dating anyone from your team.”

Faking a thought, I tap my chin. “I didn’t realize you were the boss of me.” I turn to Zach with a flirty smile. “If any of your teammates are single, tell them I’m throwing a party in a few weeks, and I’d love for them to come.”

Zach’s eyes flick between Miles and me, but then he nods and smiles. “Sure thing. See you all around.”

Hudson makes a low, whistling sound. “I can’t wait to come to your party, Quinn. Wait, I’m invited too, right? No, don’t answer that. Of course I am.”

For the second time today, I roll my eyes at Hudson. “Yes, you’re invited. All of you are.” I look at Miles and scowl. “Except you.” Because I’m feeling petty. And despite his protective stance today, he doesn’t want me. He wants to keep me safe. Well, maybe safe is boring. Maybe I’m done playing it safe. Maybe I’m done with possessive, growly boys who have no intention of doing anything about it.

He guffaws, but I see a little smirk lift the side of his mouth.

Even though it was a spur-of-the-moment idea, I’m having this party. Now I need to rally my best friend into helping me organize it.