Page 43 of Fragile (Cedar Lakes University #2)

Chapter forty-two

Miles

My eyes burn as I try to open them. Harsh, sterile light of the room greets me as I manage to blink once, a stinging pain shooting through my arm when I try to move. My head feels heavy, like it’s been stuffed with cotton, and there’s a dull ache pulsing behind my eyes. I blink to focus, but everything is blurry around the edges.

Where am I? The last thing I remember is the football field, feeling a bit dizzy, then…nothing.

I move to lift my arm, but a sharp pain stops me. Glancing down, I see a heavy plaster cast encasing it. Well, that’s new.

I shift slightly, wincing as the movement sends another wave of pain ricocheting through my head. The pain is relentless, a burning, searing ache that radiates from my arm and spreads like wildfire throughout my entire body. Every breath feels like it’s being dragged out of me, each one more painful than the last. I can’t escape it; no matter if I move or stay still, it’s there, gnawing at me, refusing to let go. My head pounds with every beat of my heart, a dull, rhythmic thud that makes it hard to think about anything but the agony. My throat is dry when I swallow, my mouth a desert, and I’m terrified that if I move even an inch, the pain will swallow me whole.

“Jesus,” I croak, giving up and lying back down, looking up at the bleak white squared ceiling.

The door to the room bangs open, making me jump, and my dad storms in, his face twisted in anger. Behind him, I can hear the frantic shouts of nurses and doctors telling him to calm down, to stop, but he ignores them, his eyes locked on me.

“What the fuck did you do?” he sneers, his eyes bloodshot and full of fire.

I want to defend myself, but I’m guessing with the toxin screening, the docs found something in my blood. Something that definitely wasn’t amphetamines. Not even I know what it was, but I know it wasn’t my usual.

“Dad,” I begin, my voice weak and husky. I close my eyes, trying to block out his rage, but it’s impossible. It’s always impossible.

“Look at me!” he shouts, and I flinch, my eyes snapping open. “Look at me and tell me you weren’t on something.”

I know, he knows, we all know, I can’t do that. But hell, I can barely think straight, my head throbbing with every beat of my heart, but he doesn’t care. He never cares. I take responsibility for what I did tonight, but I can’t pacify him. Whatever I say won’t matter. He wants to hear me say it, that I’m finally the fuckup he thinks I’ve been all along.

“Mr. Cooper.” The doctor’s commanding voice cuts through the noise. “You need to leave now, or I will have security escort you out.”

For a moment, my dad just stands there, glaring at me, his chest heaving like he’s about to explode again.

“Mr. Cooper,” the doctor repeats, and my dad relents, spinning around and stalking out of my room.

The doctor sighs, rubbing a hand over his face before turning to me.

“Are you okay, Miles?” he asks, his voice gentle now. He grabs my chart and stares at the machines next to me while making notes.

I nod, but the truth is, I don’t know. I don’t know if I’m okay, if I’ll ever be okay again. All I know is that my head hurts, my arm is broken, and the last thing I remember is playing in one of the biggest games of my life. And now…everything feels shattered.

“I don’t want to pressure you, especially after that. But I need to know how long you’ve been mixing amphetamines with cocaine.”

My mind races to process the question. And then my stomach churns. “I—” I look up, meeting the concerned eyes of the doc. “I didn’t know it was cocaine. I thought it was just amphetamines. I’ve only been using it for a couple of months, and I didn’t realize what else was mixed in. But this is the first time I’ve passed out.”

He nods thoughtfully. “I need you to be honest with me, because all I’m here to do is help.”

“I swear that’s the truth.” I swallow, my throat feeling like glass. “I took amphetamines at the beginning of fall, but I’ve never had a reaction like that before. I haven’t used for weeks now. But…”

“Your dealer may have given you a mix without telling you. That mix is fatal and we’re seeing a rise of people overdosing across the country. It’s serious, Miles. You’re lucky to be alive.”

A cold shiver snakes down my spine, making me flinch. My shoulders tense up, and I feel the hairs on my arms prickle. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not me who you need to apologize to, it’s you.” Folding the chart back at the foot of my bed, he levels me with a look. “Do you want to get better?”

“I do.”

“Good. We’ll start by keeping a close eye on your vitals and making sure there are no immediate health concerns, and book physio for your arm,” he explains. “Once we’re confident that you’re stable, we’ll discharge you and connect you with a counselor who specializes in substance abuse. They’ll help you navigate through this and find ways to cope with the pressures you’re facing.” His gaze softens, a hint of empathy in his eyes. “It would also be beneficial if your father was included at some point too.”

My throat tightens at the mention of him. “Do you think he needs to be involved right away?”

“Not immediately, but at some point, I think you’ll need to address whatever is going on between you both.”

I look away to collect my thoughts, picking at a thread on the sheet draping over me. “I just don’t know if he’d understand or even want to be involved.”

The doctor nods once more. “That’s something you can address when you’re ready. For now, focus on your health and getting through this. We’ll help you with the resources and get you support you need.”

“Thank you,” I say quietly, feeling uncertain and so exhausted. How did I let myself get this far? How can I come back from this?

And then a flicker of something echoes in my mind, like remembering you found treasure on the beach as a kid. Except my treasure has red hair usually tied back with a bow, and incredible green eyes and the most beautiful smile. “This might sound odd, but is there a girl outside?”

“A girl?”

“Probably in a cheerleading uniform. Probably looking real fucking scared right now.”

The doc smiles knowingly. “If I can find her, you want me to send her in?”

I nod, which hurts like hell. “More than anything.”

He leaves, and I let myself relax for a second, only to tense right back up with anxiety. What if she’s not here? What if she doesn’t want to see me? What will she think when I tell her I messed everything up?

Then the door opens and my whole world centers around those piercing green eyes of hers.

I’m lost, so fucking gone for her, that I never want to find my way out.

“Miles,” she cries, her voice breaking on a sob, and then she’s moving toward me.

The moment she gets to me, everything else fades away. The pain, the fear, the guilt. All I know is the feel of her body against mine is like coming home. And I never want her to leave.

“Oh god, I’m so sorry. Am I hurting you?” she rushes out, backing away from me.

It takes all the strength I have to hold on to her. “Don’t even think about moving away from me,” I plead, pulling her close and burying my face in her hair.

Quinn’s breath hitches, and for a moment, there’s silence between us. She shifts slightly, her voice soft but firm. “I’m not going anywhere, Miles. Not now, not ever.”