Page 26 of Fragile (Cedar Lakes University #2)

Chapter twenty-five

Quinn

Miles isn’t answering his phone. In fact, he’s turned it off. The only indication that he knows I’ve been trying to get a hold of him was the read receipt I got when he opened my message. That was two hours ago. But that doesn’t stop me from continually checking as though he’ll magically message me back, like if I stare at it long enough, I can manifest it.

The ice pack he got me has lost its freeze, but my mood is still just as frozen. I can’t shake the feeling that he’s getting himself into something that will spiral out of control. And it terrifies me. I spent a good half an hour wallowing and now I need to talk to him.

I take a deep breath and try to think clearly. What else can I do from here? I can’t just sit around and wait for him to come back on his own, because what if he doesn’t?

Grabbing my phone, I text one of the girls, Katie, on the squad, who had a thing with Levi last year.

Katie

Yeah, I’ve still got his number, hang on.

Within a few seconds, I have Levi’s number. He might know where Miles is or have some idea of what he’s up to. The phone rings, and I hold my breath, hoping he’ll pick up.

“Hello?” Levi’s voice comes through the speaker, sounding casual but guarded.

“Levi, I know you don’t know me, but I’m friends with Miles Cooper. My name is Quinn,” I say, trying to keep my voice steady. “I need to know if you’ve seen Miles. He left in a hurry this afternoon, and I’m worried about him.”

There’s a pause on the other end, the faint thump of music in the background. “Miles, huh? Yeah, he was here earlier.”

“Earlier? What do you mean? Where is he now?” I press, my anxiety mounting.

Levi’s tone shifts to become more elusive. “Look, Quinn, I don’t really know where he went. We were just hanging out. You know how it is—people come and go.”

My frustration spikes. “Levi, this isn’t a game. Miles is in trouble. I need to know if he’s okay.”

“Calm down, will you?” Levi says, sounding annoyed as he purposefully makes a blowing sound, that I’m guessing is him smoking. “I don’t have all the details. He left, and that’s all I know.”

Great. That’s not helpful at all. Levi’s always been slippery, and now it seems he’s being intentionally vague. As I hang up, I’m feeling even more helpless.

I look around the room, trying to think of another approach. I can’t just wait for him to come to his senses on his own. He’s in a dark place, and I have to find a way to reach him.

Leaning over to my dresser, I open the top one and pull out the ankle support I know is stuffed in here with my underwear.

The door softly clicks open a minute later, and in walks Indie.

“Hey, how you feeling?” she asks as she dumps her bag on her side of the room.

“Can you help me?” I ask, exasperated with feeling helpless. “I need to find my support so I can go find Miles.”

“Woah, wait a damn minute. You’re going to walk with that balloon on your ankle?” She gestures to my angry swollen foot, and I sigh. “Quinn, there’s no way I’m letting you walk on that.”

“It’s not that bad,” I counter.

“Okay, so show me exactly how you plan on walking out of here,” she says, crossing her arms over her body.

Determination to prove her wrong fires in my gut as I pull myself upright, bad ankle hovering above the ground. Gingerly, I lower my foot to the carpet and immediately can’t stop the hiss of pain that escapes me.

“Uh-huh, just what I thought,” Indie says smugly.

“But I have to find him!” My voice comes out shaky, panic clawing at my insides as I flop back onto my bed. The thought of sitting around and doing nothing is too unbearable. A hurricane of worst-case scenarios swirls in my mind. Desperately, I try to steady my breathing, clenching my fists to keep my cool. The room is silent, Indie waiting for me to either lose my mind completely or burst into tears, I’m sure.

“Let me call Seb. He’ll find him.”

“What if…” I stop myself, because I might not know where Miles is, but I know at some point he was with Levi. He might’ve gotten high or drunk. And I can’t send my brother looking for him if he’s either of those things. “Indie, I need to tell you something, but it absolutely can’t get back to my brother.”

Indie takes a slow step toward me and settles on my bed, eyebrows creased. “I’m listening.” She places her hand on my jittering knee.

“Okay, Miles might be—”

“Here, I’m here.” The door creaks open, and Miles steps into the room, his face haunted as he stares at me. “I didn't mean to interrupt,” he says, his voice tense but steady.

The beat of awkward silence echoes like a high note between us all. Indie clears her throat and backs herself toward the door. “I’m just going to hang out in the common room.” Indie thumbs behind her before she adds, “I’ll be there if you need me.”

When the door clicks closed softly, it’s just us.

The only sound is the beating of my heart, thudding and vibrating over my whole body.

I look at Miles, his shoulders low, his arms limp by his sides, and my immediate thought is, did he take something tonight? I hate that my mind goes there, but I need to know so I can help him.

Then another part of me, a much louder part, wants to shout at him and berate him for running off when I couldn’t follow him. But as soon as I focus on the dark circles coloring under his eyes and the haunted look on his face, I know I need to let him talk first. I need to let him set the pace of how this goes.

“I’m sorry,” Miles breathes out. The weight behind his words is heavy, and as he takes a tentative step toward me, I have to stop myself from being pulled to him like a magnet, my body desperate to soothe him. His brown eyes find mine, and the vulnerability in them almost floors me. He looks like the same little boy who lost his mom years ago and needed comforting. “Will you come with me for a second?”

There’s still that voice inside my head demanding answers and telling me I should shout until I get them. But this isn’t about me right now, it’s about him.

I can only nod.

“I’ll help you walk,” he says immediately as I wobble, getting up to balance on my good foot. The way he wraps his arm around my waist, effortlessly hiking my arm around his neck so I don’t have to worry about weight bearing makes all of this so much harder. Now that I know how he and I fit together, it’s impossible to forget. He walks us both down the hall, all the way to the shared bathroom at the end.

Opening the door, the place is empty, mirrors lined up behind sinks surrounded by a halo of white lights. Miles interlinks our fingers when he unwraps my arm from around his neck and lifts me toward the first sink.

He fumbles something from his pocket, and I watch him with rapt attention, neither of us speaking as he opens the pot of Tylenol. The few small white tablets dance in the porcelain bowl, softly snicking as they one by one plummet into the dark abyss.

Exhaling a heavy breath, he falls a few steps backward until his back meets the wall with an audible thud. I don’t know what to say, my heart is caught in my throat as I watch him battle something within himself.

Right now, I see Miles as he is: raw. He isn’t showing me any facade, he’s just here trying to deal with something that’s threatening to swallow him whole. Something that has left him feeling powerless. He’s just a boy who is lost and desperate to find some control in his life.

I can see now why he walked away earlier. The anger leaves my body in an instant because he doesn’t need anyone telling him how bad this is. He knows. He just can’t find a lifeline to change that.

The silence begins to stifle the bathroom like steam from a hot shower.

“Before you ask, that’s all I have.”

My mind stumbles over itself, trying to come to terms with what he’s doing and how I deal with everything in a way that doesn’t put him under any pressure. “Why did you do that?” I manage to stammer. Empathy wraps around me like a blanket I wish I could pass to him.

He picks at his thumbnail, distracting himself before looking at me for the first time since we’ve come in here. My palms are clammy, and I shove them deep into my pockets, hoping to hide how unsteady I feel.

“Because I got an offer tonight that made me question everything,” he replies, uncertainty flickering on his face.

My heart stalls as all kinds of scenarios rush through my mind.

“What kind of offer?” The pit in my stomach tightens. I need to know, but I’m also terrified to find out.

He doesn’t look at me. “For more. For something stronger. I saw Levi in town, and he… Never mind. It was something that would truly make me forget.” He sighs and turns his attention to me. Eyes shadowed with a darkness I’ve not seen in him before. But then he blinks, softening his expression and that streak of caramel in his left eye glistens and my breath catches at the sight of it. “And tonight, I realized I had more to remember than forget.”

A flutter of hope blooms in my chest.

Then taking two measured steps toward me, he leans in and kisses my cheek and brands me as his. As if I haven’t spent most of my life already belonging to him, now it feels like he’s choosing me and silently begging me to be his lifeline.

Without second guessing myself, I reach up, my fingers curling into the fabric of his shirt as I yank him toward me. Our lips crash together, hard and urgent, as I pull him into a kiss that’s anything but gentle. My hands slip to the back of his neck to keep him close. He groans against my mouth, and I feel it vibrate through my chest, spurring me to kiss him harder, deeper, like I can’t get enough.

And with him, I know I never will.