Page 19 of Fragile (Cedar Lakes University #2)

Chapter eighteen

Miles

The Hangout isn’t a place I’ve spent much time outside of parties. Occasionally, we’ll break out the Xbox. Which is what Hudson and I found ourselves agreeing to do about an hour ago. It’s after classes and there’s no practice tonight so we’ve got a rare night off. My immediate thought was to ask Quinn to my dorm, but then I remembered she volunteers at the women’s shelter in town on Wednesday evenings. So here I am, getting beat at a fucking game of Call of Duty .

“Dude, you’re not even trying to watch my six. Come on!” Hudson wails.

“My joystick keeps sticking. It won’t let me fucking shoot!” I shout back.

When you’re playing video games, it doesn’t matter if you’re sitting shoulder to shoulder, if you aren’t shouting at each other, it’s not as fun.

“Fuck!” Hudson curses, just as we both lose the game again. “I give up.” The controller hits the coffee table with a thud and Hudson slumps back into the couch.

“We can play another night,” I suggest.

Hudson huffs and we sit in comfortable silence, scrolling our phones for a second, when a text from Quinn comes through, telling me she’s finished at the shelter and will be getting the bus back soon. This kind of text isn’t new for us, since she usually lets me know where she’s going and if she’s safe. But now I feel a surge of something else too alongside our friendship, and I’m trying to come to terms with it.

I’m also desperately trying to take things slow with her because I refuse to mess this up.

With Seb being her brother and my best friend, talking to him about it is out of the question. He’s way too protective, and I’m not ready to deal with the fallout that could bring. Hudson, on the other hand, might be a wild card, but he’s my best option right now. He and Quinn are friends too, and maybe he can give me some insight without blowing everything up. I glance over at the man in question, watching the way he smirks at whatever he’s seeing on his phone, wondering if I can trust him to keep this between us. Eh, fuck it. I need to talk to someone before I explode.

“So, can I ask you something?”

“Oh, shit.” Glancing at me with an odd expression, he sits up straighter, dropping his phone to his lap. “Is this like a bro-to-bro thing? Are you… Do you need advice?”

I run my hand down my face. “Yeah, I need advice.” I then pin him with a stern stare, pointing my finger at his face. “But you dare tell a soul, and I will end you.”

“ You are coming to me for advice!” he yelps, practically jumping from the couch. “Oh my god, fuck. This never happens. Well, I’m your guy, the best man for the job.” He brushes his hair from his face and looks at me with a dopey grin. “Hudson Parker – Advice Guru. And to think you’re the one who started it all.”

My eyes roll back in my head. “You about done?”

“I’m so excited.” Clearing his throat, he schools his expression. “Hit me with it.”

“Fucking hell,” I mutter. “Okay, so here it goes.”

Hudson rubs his hands together in glee, and it’s really fucking hard to concentrate when he’s acting like he’s in a candy store or some shit. “So, like, say you’re with a girl, and you kiss—”

“Dude, I do more than kiss girls—”

“Hudson,” I chastise, snapping my fingers to get him to focus.

He shakes his head. “Right, okay, kissing girls, I’m listening.”

I take a deep breath. “Like I said. Say you kissed a girl, and you liked it more than you would normally?”

His brow furrows. “Do you not kiss girls often?”

Exasperation claws at my nerves. “No, I do, but… Fuck, I don’t know, like a girl who is more than just a hookup, you know?”

“Oh, okay, I’m with you.”

The couch bounces beside us, and I hadn’t even realized that Jay walked into the room. “What is he with you for? You aren’t concocting some kind of orgy with a bunch of people, are you?”

“I mean…” Hudson debates, just as I firmly say, “No!”

Then, without missing another beat, Hudson says, “Miles needs advice.”

My hands raise in frustration, then drop to my lap with a thud. “Hudson, what did I just say to you twenty seconds ago? You have to keep your mouth closed.”

He shrugs. “You haven’t even said anything yet. Just told me you kissed a girl and you liked it.”

“Isn’t that a song?” Jay muses.

“Probably.”

“Guys!” I say through gritted teeth. This was the worst idea ever, and it’s only getting worse.

Hudson slaps my chest, chuckling to himself. “Listen, if Jay ever gets over his hateship he has with this chick in his class, he can come to me for advice now, because I’m clearly the best at it. Right, Miles?”

“You haven’t actually done anything yet, except raise my blood pressure.”

“He constantly does that for me. Also, I don’t have a hateship,” Jay grumbles, sitting back against the couch.

Hudson snorts. “You do, first step is admitting you have a problem. And yours happens to have blue hair, a nice ass, and a quirky attitude.”

Jay flips him off, and I stiffen, my entire body tensing at the offhand comment from Hudson. Yet another day I’m reminded of the tightrope I’m walking when it comes to football, and everything I’ve got on the line. But you don’t have a problem, Cooper. This is temporary.

The reality is, bringing Quinn into any of it is a terrible idea. And here I am, discussing the option of what the fuck I should be doing if I like her more than a hookup. Fuck. Abort, abort .

Hudson’s hand lands on my shoulder, drawing me out of my thoughts. “I’m sorry, buddy. Kissing. Girls. Not just hookups. I’m all ears. Go.”

“This was a mistake.” I stand, shrugging him off and storming toward the door.

“I’m listening now, dude, come back!” he yells as I push open the door, his voice growing more distant as I pick up my pace.

A tug on my arm has me turning around when I come face to face with Jay.

“Did you seriously go to Hudson for advice? We both know I’m the one you should’ve come to.”

I hesitate, unsure what the hell I should do now. “Yeah, he was just there, and I was in my head.”

Jay hums an acknowledgement. “Well, I’m here if you still need to talk?”

I pause. What could be worse than talking to Hudson? Is this the worst idea? I know I don’t want to bring anyone else into my other activities, but Jay is the more level-headed of the two, so fuck it. And this is just about Quinn, nothing else. “And you won’t blab it to anyone?”

Jay crosses his heart with his fingers. “Swear it.”

I run a hand over my hair, hoping my second attempt might go better. “So, there’s a girl I kissed. And it felt different. Like, really different.”

Jay raises an eyebrow. “Different how?”

“I don’t know. It wasn’t just physical, you know?” I scuff my shoe against the ground, looking down at it as nerves make my palms sweaty. “It felt like it meant something more.”

He nods slowly. “And this girl, she’s not just anyone, is she?”

I swallow hard, the weight of what I’m about to admit pressing down on me. “No, she’s not just anyone.”

Jay’s eyes narrow slightly. “So, what’s the plan? You going to talk to her about it?”

As I shrug, the weight of uncertainty weighs me down. “I know I should. But the thing is, what if she doesn’t feel the same way? What if she wants me for what I’m known for, just a hookup? Or what if things get complicated?”

Jay chuckles softly. “Man, relationships are always complicated. But look, if you really care about her, you should talk to her. You can’t let the fear of what might happen stop you from finding out how she feels.”

I nod, appreciating his honesty. “Yeah, you’re right.”

Jay claps me on the shoulder. “Good luck, man. And remember, if Hudson or anyone else gives you crap, you can always come to me.”

“Thanks, Jay. I appreciate it.”

“Anytime. You coming to Quinn’s party tomorrow?”

My brow creases. “Party?”

“Yeah, the one she invited the whole hockey team to. You were there, the other day in the cafeteria. We’re hooking Quinn up, remember?”

Fuck. I remember, alright. Unease washes over me at the thought of seeing her with anyone else, but I tamper it down—barely. “Yeah, I’ll stop by.”

And make sure no hockey player gets their mitts on her.