Page 8

8

*NOT* JACK

YOU ACTIN' KINDA SHADY

C racking my eyelids open, I glance around the dark room and work to catalogue my surroundings.

Despite knowing it’s still hours before sunrise, I’m not tired. I’ve had a powernap, and now I’m invigorated. I’m full of energy and spark.

Waking up to Jack’s strong arm pinning me to his bed and his soft breath bathing my hair has me feeling all kinds of relaxed.

Stroking the sinfully soft, six-billion thread count sheets that are probably the single reason why he ‘used to be’ rich, I smile into the dark, and my smile goes unseen by anyone except whatever third heart that beats in this room and watches me doze.

The rhythmic, deep breathing that’s too deep to belong to a chihuahua should freak me out, but I’m feeling kind of invincible right now.

It didn’t attack while I was pulling Jack’s hair, it didn’t attack while I was sleeping half on him, nor did it attack while riding him to a throat-aching orgasm, so I get the feeling I’m safe enough for now.

Taking one last peek at Jack’s square jaw, lightly covered in stubble, and his not-short-but-not-long hair, a light brown that may just turn blonde in the summer, I turn under his arm and lightly pat the mattress.

Instantly, the excited waddling begins, the loud panting, the dangerous swish-swish of a lethal tail flying through the air. I can’t see it, but within a second, I’m startled by a cold, wet nose pressing against my hand.

“Hey there, puppy. You won’t kill me, will you?”

More excited snuffling and fast swishing ensues .

Jack lets out an impatient breath, turns over, and grumbles in his sleep. I smile; Jack’s tired and grumpy.

Pushing the covers away, I drop my legs over the side of the giant plush bed, then as silently as I can manage, collect my panties and pull them on.

The dog continues to hover around me, sniffing my feet and licking my hand. I should be afraid of this horse-sized dog. Its head sits just under my boobs, and that’s just… wow. That’s not what I’m used to. But it seems so friendly.

If it wanted to eat me, it would have already.

Finding Jack’s shirt at the end of the bed, I pull it on, smile at the smell of him under the scent of club, then I blindly wander toward the door.

“Come on, puppy. Come with– Ah!” Hissing, I stop and bounce on one foot as pain radiates through my little toe on the other one.

“Ow, ow, ow. Mother bitch!” Biting my lip, I breathe through the pain, then jump when the dog’s solid presence at my side scares the crap out of me.

Hopping, hobbling, and silently crying, I take wary steps – hopefully – toward the door. It’s so dark in here, I’m afraid I might never see the light again.

Three steps forward, the dog’s head steers me a little to the left. Another three steps, another gentle nudge. Reaching the door, I step out into the fractionally lighter hallway with a goofy smile and my toe forgotten in the face of this GPS dog.

“You’re clever, huh?” I scratch its ears and snicker at the cat-like purr coming from its throat. “You’re so smart.” Holding onto his collar, I lead – or possibly follow – it downstairs and into a large moonlit living room.

As soon as we stop by the large bay windows, I swallow nervously at my first sight of the giant dog, but then its tongue lolls out to the side like a goofball and my nerves are put to rest.

“You’re clever, aren’t you? And just a little bit silly.” Taking his collar and pulling the jingling tags around, I lean close and angle toward the moonlight to read the inscription.

ANNIE.

“Annie?” Our eyes meet. “You’re a girl… Are you a good girl, Annie?” She vibrates with pleasure at my saying her name. Pressing her head against my belly, she gives me doggie hugs and pushes me back a step with her strength. “Yeah, you’re a good girl. You’re definitely a good girl.” Scratching her ears and scanning the large living room, I study only what I can see from my position by the living room window .

So Jack-with-the-giant-dick certainly did not buy a bunch of crap to compensate for lack of size the way some guys would.

He has a TV – not giant, not small – secured to the wall near me. An L shaped leather couch that looks more comfortable than it does stylish. Thanks to the open plan living space, I can see straight through to the kitchen where his apparent fondness for being neat ends at the piled pots and pans in the sink, and the junk scattered over the otherwise opulent kitchen counters.

Giant tubs of protein powder, a dozen of them, litter the counters; brands I recognize, because my brothers drink that crap like the zombie apocalypse is coming and they need all the muscles now.

I much prefer looking at Jack’s muscles, that’s for sure.

Dying of thirst, mouth made of sandpaper, I take a step forward and attempt to push the horse-dog away. “Let’s get a drink, Annie. Take me to the kitchen.”

Stepping away immediately, so swiftly and so sure, I swear she must understand my words. Turning on her feet and resting her ribs against my body, she leans so heavily, she almost buckles my frame.

But she leads me.

She leads me into the messy kitchen and noses the cupboards to the far left. Swear to God, I open it up and find water glasses. Waiting for me to grab one down, she leans and leads me to the water dispenser on the fridge.

Are there gifted schools for dogs? Is that where Jack’s ‘used to’ money went?

Pressing my glass against the sensor in the door, I lean against the dog and scratch her ears while we wait. Walking around this beautiful home, led only by moonlight, is refreshing. No noises except my feet on tile floors. No company, except Annie’s friendly smile and comforting presence.

The anonymity of the darkness is invigorating. But the lack of light might’ve been a mistake. Turning when the glass is full, I step on Annie’s foot, which elicits a loud yelp as she skitters away.

I squeal, because her yelp scares the crap out of me, then the kitchen lights flick on and reveal the poor giant dog missing a leg, which has me screaming like my stomping foot is the single catastrophic cause for that missing limb.

“What the hell are you doing?” A beefy hand slams down over my mouth, sealing my squeals and muffling my noise. “Stop screaming. Jesus! ”

I try to escape his hold.

I don’t stop screaming. This is everything my brothers have been warning me about.

I scream. I bite his hand. And I imagine him wearing my skin.

Flailing against his solid chest and swinging my legs beneath me like a caricature spider in roller skates, I stop in a single heartbeat when Annie’s growls snap and her teeth bare dangerously.

Good doggy. Good pupper.

Breathing through my nose and almost hyperventilating in my panic, my chest rises and falls as I stare into Annie’s feral eyes.

Jesus, she thinks I’m hurting him!

Why can she understand water and kitchen , but not ‘ your owner is the one attacking me!’ He’s two-hundred and fifty pounds, at least!

He’s not in danger.

Nodding and gently fighting against Jack’s hold, when his hand slides back off my face, I take a step to the side. “Okay, it’s okay. Sorry… Tell her to stop.”

“Annie,” he huffs impatiently. “Quit it.”

She snaps again and has me jumping an additional three feet away. I won’t hurt him – as if I actually could!

As soon as Jack steps away and creates extra space between us, her eyes lighten and she stops thinking of me as her next steak dinner. Like the flip of a light switch, her tail wags and her face butts against my stomach.

I swear to God, it’s like she’s mock punching me in the shoulder, ‘Joke’s on you, Bambie. I was just playing. Woofer, woof.’

“Jesus Christ.” Breathing through my adrenaline, I concentrate on not passing out and becoming a leg donor. Considering how smart she is, I bet she knows how to remove a leg and reattach it where hers should be.

Waste not, want not.

“Alright.” I step back when Jack comes closer. “I’m not touching him. See?”

“What the hell are you doing?” he snaps. “You scared the piss out of me!”

“I’m sorry…” I hold my chest in defense against an imminent heart attack. “I was thirsty. Then I accidentally stepped on her foot.”

“You shouldn’t be wandering around my house! Are you snooping at my shit?” Stomping into his living room, he snaps picture frames face down.

Fear forgotten, I turn and angrily stalk forward. “No, I’m not snooping! Jesus, what’s there to snoop at? Your protein tubs? ”

“You need to go. Get the fuck out.”

Stopping on a dime, my stomach curdles at his callous dismissal. I mean, I know what this is. Hell, he doesn’t even know my name, so it’s obvious he’s not the most chivalrous guy around, but damn, his dismissal has me feeling less important than a fly that buzzes around his head.

A few hours ago, he treated me like a human being. A queen, even. He kneeled at my feet, he savored me like the finest dessert, and he made damn sure I came first. But now that he’s done, he’s done!

“I don’t know who you think you are, Jack, but you don’t speak to me like that–”

“You don’t think so?” he snarls. “Watch me. Get the fuck out of my house. Get your shit.” He storms around the room and tosses pieces of my clothing at my legs. Where has the gentle lover gone? “Your screaming probably woke all my fuckin’ neighbors. Get out before their nosy asses come over.”

“You’ve got neighbors? Nosy neighbors?”

“Fuck yes, I do!” He tosses my boots at my feet, and when the heel slams against my ankle, I hold my breath, rather than let on to this asshole how much it hurt. “Take my shirt, I don’t care.” He storms to his kitchen counter and pulls a fifty from the drawer. “Cab money. Now put your shoes on and get.”

“I’m not your whore, Jack!”

“Actually.” He stops in front of me and snarls. “Yeah, you are. You fucked a stranger, now I’m giving you fifty bucks. Fuck off.”

“You fucked a stranger, too, asshole! That makes you a whore, too.”

He shrugs so callously, I feel shivers right down to my toes. “I’m okay with who I am, Bambie. You’re the one having an identity crisis.”

I bend and collect my clothes, though his shirt covers more than my entire outfit did earlier. “You’re a damn asshole, you know that?”

He shrugs and sends my blood to boiling. “I never said I wasn’t. Seems to me you came here tonight with expectations.” Shoehorning me toward his front door, his dog follows just to make sure I take a hike. “I didn’t promise a thing, Bambie. It ain’t my problem if you built up unrealistic expectations. You were fucked. You came. That’s all you get from me.”

“I had no expectations except to be treated with common decency!”

“Eh, I didn’t even promise that much. Now go.” He slams his palm over a back-lit screen. “Gates are unlocked, I’ll call a cab. You can wait out front– Fuck!” A set of car lights swing into his driveway and has his angry face turning pale. “Motherfucking bitch of a universe. ”

A dark charcoal gray Mustang slowly rolls through the gates, and in the driver’s seat, a woman angles right for Jack’s driveway.

I see red!

A tiny woman, cute as hell, hot as shit, parks and climbs out with a giant grin spread across her face. “Oh, hey honey! Fancy seeing you out here at…” she checks her watch, “three in the morning.”

I spin back angrily. “You have a wife?”

His eyes flare wide with guilt.

“That’s why you wanted me out, huh?” I step off Jack’s front porch and head straight for the hot chick. “Your husband fucked me a few hours ago. I’m really sorry about that.”

Pursing her lips, her eyes flick to him. “He did, did he?”

“Yeah, and another time a few weeks back. I’m really sorry. I didn’t know he was taken, I wouldn’t have done that if I knew.”

Smiling, her hand comes to my arm. “I believe you.”

“This your car or his?”

Tracing her teeth with her tongue, her smile confuses me, but my anger won’t let me stop and think. “This is his car.”

“Good.” Walking past with my keys clasped in my hand, I point a sharp edge between each finger and slowly, tortuously, noisily slide them along the panel.

I send up my heartfelt apologies to the car Gods, because this car is really beautiful, but he’s a cheating piece of shit, and karma is ready for delivery.

Porch lights flick on around us. Couples step outside to watch. So with a new audience – his nosy neighbors – I turn back.

“Hey asshole, I’m really interested to know where you got those elf on a shelf sized condoms. They were cute. You’re pretty damn useless, but they were definitely cute.”

A barked laugh rolls off one of the front porches, a seriously sexy guy with slightly shaggy hair holds his stomach and hoots with laughter. Too bad an equally hot chick with long dark hair and a sexy lithe body stands beside him in tiny sleep shorts and a tank.

Watching on speechless, Jack gets a front row seat as I keep working my name in the side of his car.

“I’m gonna need you to recommend doctors that specialize in your kind of STD. God knows what you gave me, but I see you scratching your junk, I see you ass fucking your brothers in the club.”

I actually have no clue if this guy even has brothers, but I’m on a roll.

“Hey! ”

My eyes flip to a man, easily the second largest in this group. A woman with long ash-blonde hair stands beside him, snickering into her hand as she shushes the big guy. “Please,” she laughs. “Go on. I’m riveted .”

“Go inside, Kit!”

“Nope,” Kit argues. “I’m staying right here. I really wanna know everything else.”

“ Everything else? I’d ask if you’re his wife, too, but your man is easily on my list of top five sexiest men I’ve ever seen in my life. Then there’s this other dude, but he’s married, too. Seems I have a type. Lucky for you, you bagged him and didn’t end up with that limp dick asshole.”

She laughs so hard, I jump and make the T in my name dig in deeper than it should.

“It’s seriously so lucky,” she laughs. “I’m happy with the husband I got, and not the limp-dick-Jack.”

“Kit!” Jack snaps. “Go inside!”

When a single dimple digs into Kit’s cheek, I stop for half a second as something akin to familiarity whooshes through my stomach, but then another voice enters the yard of nosy neighbors and has me spinning. “Can y’all shut up? You’re waking the babies!”

No!

No. Oh no! Oh my God. Please, lord, strike me down and end my misery.

“Miss T?”

The blood drains from my face. “Mrs. Kincaid?” Oh my God. “Mr. Kincaid.” The sexy married man on my list.

Dead. I’m dead. Kill me now. Preferably before my boss finds out about this.

Tina Kincaid’s eyes flip from mine to Jack’s, then she surveys the group of people, all on their front porches, all sporting giant grins.

“Miss T?” Jack’s voice shakes. “How do you guys know Bambie?”

“Bambie?” The shaggy haired guy bites his knuckles in an attempt to stop laughing. “I can see it. You’ve got big innocent eyes like the kitten.”

“The kitten?”

“Ya know what?” Jack snaps. “Forget it. Bambie! Your cab’s here. Go away.”

“Hey!” Four giant sexy guys all snap at once.

“You don’t speak to her like that!” Aiden Kincaid bites out.

Inside, underneath my mortification and the angry tears that threaten to fall, I swoon and fall in love just a little bit. Even in front of his wife, he stands up for me when his neighbor is being a prick.

Why must I meet jerks like Jack, when there are gentlemen around? Oh, I know. Because the good guys are already married.

Done here, humiliated, rejected, reduced to nothing more than a common whore, I turn on my heel and bite off a curse when I find there is, in fact, a cab waiting on the other side of the gates.

“Fuck off, Bambie. Go home. Have a nice life.”

This isn’t Jack’s first rodeo. “Yeah, don’t worry. I’m leaving. See ya never.”

“Annie!” he snaps. I work to hide my jump at his shout. “Get inside. Leave Bambie alone!”

Spinning, anger rages anew. “Britt! My name is Brittany, not Bambie! Not that you’d know, since you’re a selfish asshole.” I turn away. “I’m out of here.”

“Hold on, Miss T,” Tina says. “I’ll drive you home.”

“Please, God, no. I’m fine.”

“Me, too!” Jack’s tiny wife excitedly shouts.

I get the feeling maybe she isn’t his wife at all, considering her smile. Or maybe she is, and she’s readying to kill me.

“Me, too! Wait for me.” The beautiful brunette next to the shaggy haired guy sprints off her porch. “I wanna come.”

Of course, Kit, the chick with the giant hot husband and the long ash blonde hair follows suit. “No way in hell am I missing this.”

Annie jumps into the sexy car, and Jack’s maybe-wife slides back into the driver’s seat and restarts the purring engine. “Hop in, Brittany. I’m Tink, by the way.”

“Kit.” Introducing herself by way of shoving me into the sexy Mustang, she turns back and grins. “My name’s Kit. But you already got that bit.”

“And I’m Izzy,” the last girl – the one with the long brunette hair and rockin’ body – announces as she climbs in beside us. “Actually, fun fact, if you’re Miss T, then that means we already spoke today. I’m Lucy’s mom. We have an appointment to talk to you on Monday.”

“Fuck. Me.”

“Small world, huh?”

Five women squish into Jack’s Mustang, then a half-horse-half-Hagrid squeezes her giant body across our laps and licks my face.

My life officially couldn’t be any worse .

Izzy’s excited eyes turn toward me. “So, you hooked up with Jack, huh?”

“You should know, his brothers don’t fuck him,” Kit adds sweetly as we roll past the gates. “His brothers are our husbands, and we don’t condone sharing like that. Shoes? Sure. Hair products? Uh-huh. Husbands… it all gets a little icky there. Plus, we’re possessive bitches with entitlement issues.”

Yeah. My life definitely could get worse.