Page 48

48

JACK

I KISSED ALEX

I think I’m going to be sick.

I’m lightheaded, similar to the way I felt in the hospital.

She’s not dating Luc.

He’s the single only reason I stayed away.

I thought she had a new man. I thought she was happy with him. But she’s not, and if she’s single, then maybe I have a chance. At the very least, I can explain again that I’m sorry.

I can tell her that I love her.

I haven’t told her yet. I should’ve been brave enough to tell her months ago, then maybe shit would’ve gone down differently.

There’s that word again; brave.

For such a big successful fighter, I sure am a cowardly piece of shit as far as Britt’s concerned.

I drop the girls off at the estate like a drive-by shooting. They’re lucky I didn’t make them jump from my moving car.

Heading back through the gates like an uncoordinated elephant trying to drive, I cruise across town to her house and hope to God that she’ll be there, that the universe might finally smile down on us.

Nope.

The universe is a fuckin’ asshole.

As soon as I turn the corner and spot Alex’s SUV, I notice the lack of other cars .

Specifically, hers.

Sighing, I park and climb out of the Mustang, run up the concrete path and slam a fist on the front door. Whether she’s here or not, I still need to find her.

My knocking has a dog on the inside of the house growling dangerously, and I take a step back, thanking the asshole universe for leaving Annie at home.

I don’t need to break up a dog fight today.

I listen as Alex’s boots stomp down the hall, then as he swings the door wide, his smiling face turns into a scowl. “Reilly.” Leaning against the door jamb, he taps his dog with his boot to silence it. “What do you want, asshole?”

I glance down at the white furred freak and jump back several feet. “What the fuck is that?”

Alex’s confused eyes snap to the floor, then back to mine. “What?”

“Is that your dog?” Is it even a dog?

“Yeah. That’s Bowser.”

Bowser snaps out another low growl, forcing me back another step. “But it’s–”

“What do you want, Jack?”

Focus! “Where’s Bambie?”

“Brittany… is not here.”

“Where is she?”

“Why the fuck would I tell you? You made my baby sister cry.”

“She’s not dating Luc!”

His eyes narrow angrily. “She better not be dating Luc. He’s an asshole.”

“No. She’s not!” A smile stretches across my face. It feels so fucking good to smile again. “I thought she was, which is why I stayed away, but she’s not. She’s not dating him.”

“I have no fucking clue what you’re talking about, Reilly.”

“I love her, Alex. I love your sister so fucking much it hurts. And she’s not dating Luc.”

“I don’t understand why Luc’s even in this conversation!”

I take Alex by the lapel of his uniform. “‘Cause she’s not dating him!”

He looks down his nose to my hand. “You’re gonna wanna take your damn hands off me, boy.”

“I need to know where she is, Alex. I need to know. I need to see her.”

“I’m thinking that’s a really shitty idea. Seems to me, you just make her sad. ”

“I wanna marry her, X. Here, look.” I fish around in my pocket desperately. Reaching across my body to awkwardly search my left pocket with my right arm, I pull the jewelry out. “I have her bracelet.”

With narrowed eyes, his hand snaps out to snatch the bracelet away. “She’s been looking for that.”

I pull my hand back and bask in the way my heart swells.

Finally, finally it feels good.

“She’s been looking for it? Does she love me, too, Alex?”

“Well, if she does, I sure as shit ain’t gonna tell you.”

“But I have her bracelet and I love her.” I open my palm wider and grin when his snatching hand stops at the sight of the diamond ring. Our eyes meet; his shocked, mine desperately hopeful. “I need to find her.”

“You’re scaring me. This is my baby sister’s life you’re messing with.”

“I’m not trying to mess with her life, Alex. I just wanna spend mine with her. I love her.”

“No. You just think you love her because she’s a toy you can’t have anymore.”

“No! That’s not true. Ask my sister. I bought this ring before the fight. I bought this ring while we were still together and happy, but then the shit splattered and I couldn’t give it to her while she hated me.”

“Jack–”

“You know where she is, I know you do.”

“Of course I do. Because–”

“Because you’re her big brother. Her protector. You’re the deputy.”

“Chief.”

“Tell me where she is, Alex, please. And while you’re at it, give me your blessing. I know she’ll need that. She fucking idolizes you.”

“Idolizes me? She attacked me in my own home to stand up for you!”

“Which means she loves me, too.”

Pressing his thumbs to his eyes as stress relief, he mutters under his breath.

“I fucking hate you, Reilly. I hate what I saw you doing with her. I hate that you’re trying to steal my baby sister away.” His eyes – the same as hers – meet mine. “I changed her diapers. I held her bottles while she lay in my arms.”

“I’m not stealing her, Alex. Just asking to live my life right next to her. I can be your brother. We’ll name our firstborn after you.”

“Like fuck you will! There will be no firstborns! There’ll be no babies.”

“Okay.” Laughing, I absorb the unfamiliar giddiness that washes through me. “No babies. But let me find her. If nothing else, she should know I love her.”

“What if I don’t tell you?”

I take a step back, then a second. I look down at the top step leading into the front yard. “Then I’ll sit my ass down and wait for her. She’s bound to come home eventually.”

He shrugs. “Solid plan, genius. Catch ya later.” He walks back inside and slams the door.

Well. Shit.

He totally called my bluff.

With a sigh, I turn and sit on the step, then lean against the beam that holds the roof up.

My ass begins hurting after five minutes.

My feet tingle and turn numb after twenty minutes.

At the twenty-five-minute mark when a car slowly moves down the street, my heart speeds with anticipation, only to slow again with disappointment.

Not her.

Twenty-nine minutes after I sat down, the front door opens again. “She’s at the lookout, dickbreath.”

Jumping up and tweaking my arm when I forget not to use it, the pain goes forgotten when I sprint forward and throw my good arm around Alex and pull him into a hug.

He pushes me away, but not before I land a juicy kiss on his cheek. “Get the fuck off me!”

“Thank you, Alex! I fucking love you.”

“You’re gay.”

“And you just gave me your blessing. I won’t break her heart, I swear.”

He steps back. “Yeah, whatever. Fuck off and don’t come back.” He swings the door shut, but I don’t miss the ghost of a smile he works to hide.

Excitement and nerves race through my body. I sprint down the steps and across the meticulously mowed lawn. Throwing myself into the car, I peel away from the cop’s house faster than the law allows.

I don’t even care. Instead of a wedding gift, he can just waive my fines.

I’m going to see her. I’m going to claim what’s rightfully mine. I won’t walk away from her until she knows everything. Until she knows she’s loved and that love just won’t switch off .

Then the ball’s in her court.

Taking a fast detour, I turn toward the lookout and cruise up the hill five miles over the speed limit.