Page 37

37

JACK

WAR AND PEACE

T he roaring of the crowd in the main arena threatens to deafen us. The music, loud and obnoxious, works to make guys feel big and badass.

I don’t care about looking badass.

I don’t feel badass.

I feel empty.

“You’ve been good with your arm.” Standing at my back, Jon watches the commission representative wrap my hands. “Keep it up, don’t show him anything.”

I grunt and nod. You can shut the fuck up now.

She hasn’t taken my calls in a week. The last time we spoke, I screamed in her face and called her a whore – again.

She won’t talk to me.

Alex won’t talk to me.

I even saw her friend at Jonah’s store; the mouse that isn’t quite the mouse I thought she was.

She told me to go fuck myself.

“Jack!” Jon slams his fist against my arm. “Pay attention.”

I nod, but I don’t take my eyes off my hands. “I got it. Hit the other guy. Knock him out. Win.”

“Jack!”

Breathing through my nose, I try not to get mad at my family being up my ass. The girls were sent to their seats already, but as my manager, Kit stayed behind.

I look up and meet her fire with fire. “Did you call her?”

“You need to focus–”

“Is she here?”

“You can’t think about that n–”

Turning to face her front on, I snarl, “Is Bambie in this fucking stadium, Kit? Is she even in this state?”

“No, she’s not!” As frustrated with me as I am with her, she throws her hands up. “I passed on the tickets. I told her about the flights. She knows all the details, Jack. But she’s not here.”

“She could be. Maybe she’s out there now–”

“She sent the tickets back.” Sighing, she steps closer. “She can’t be out there, Jack. This has been sold out for months. There were no general admission tickets. There’s literally no way she can be out there.”

“She’s not here,” Jon snaps. “So you need to put her out of your head for the next hour. Forget her. Focus on what you’re doing. Focus on what we’ve been training for.”

“This isn’t a gym session,” Aiden reasons. “You will die if you go out there half assed. You will have wasted everything. Get your fucking head in the game.”

“I’m here!” I snap. “I’m fine.”

“Are you here to win it, or are you here on a suicide mission?” Jon asks angrily. “Because last time you looked like this, you were ready to die. The difference this time, is that you have a direct way to get the job done.”

“Jack…” Kit’s lips quiver with devastation for her suicidal baby brother. She turns to Bobby. “The fight’s off, we’re going home.”

“No!” I push off the bench. “You’re being dumb. Quit it.”

“Jack, this isn’t a game! You have family out there. You have kids out there watching you. My kids!”

“I’m here, Kit! Quit freaking out. You know , you all fucking know I’m ready. We’ve worked hard for this. Don’t throw it away.”

“I won’t stand by and watch you take a beating just so you can feel something! I won’t let you hurt me like that.”

Shaking my head, I turn back and sit. Holding my half-wrapped hand out to the stunned committee official, I nod. “Finish it.”

Stepping between us, Kit brings her hands to cup my face, and with swimming eyes, lays her forehead against mine. “I want you to quit, Jack. I want you to walk away from this one. ”

I consider her request. I really, truly do. The pain in her eyes, the strong grasp her hands have on my face. I want to make her happy, I want her to not worry, but I need this. I need this fight. I need this redemption.

I need the money to set my future up.

I need to do it all on my own. And I need to shut Bobby the fuck up about wasting his career on me.

I can’t walk away.

“Please.” She scrunches her eyes shut. “I’m begging you. Walk away. Live.”

“No.”

Drawing in a long breath, she pulls back and watches me. A million emotions cross her face, but she finishes on acceptance and steps back. “Okay. I love you, Jack…”

“I love you, too.”

“…But I quit.”

I recoil like her words were my opponent’s fists. “Quit? Quit what?”

“You.” Letting her hands drop, she lifts her shoulders proudly, and pulls in a fast sniffle. “I’m not your manager anymore. I’m not going to watch you die. I’m going to get my kids, then I’m going home.”

“Kit–”

“Good luck. Please don’t die.”

“Kit, stop–”

“If you do die, you should know that I’ll be okay. I’ll live for my family, so you don’t have to worry about me spiraling like you did.”

“Kit, please stop–”

“If you live, I’ll see you when you get home. You’ll always have a bed in my house. I love you so much, Jack. I always will.”

My lip quivers. “Don’t leave me, Kit. Pleas–”

She nods grimly. “Funny. I’m asking you the same thing.” She turns to Bobby. “You can stay, or you can come with me. I truly don’t mind. I won’t make you choose, and I won’t get mad.” With another shaky inhalation, a gentle caress across my cheek, she turns on her heel and walks out of the locker room.

Shell-shocked, silent, she leaves behind five grown men with gaping jaws and broken hearts.

I turn away to wipe the tears in my eyes. “Fuck.”

I’ve never in my life seen my brother-in-law as pissed as he is when he steps up. “You just broke her heart!”

“I’m sorry.”

“Are you gonna die? ”

“No.” I clear my throat. “I’ve got this.”

“You swear you’re stepping into that octagon for the right reasons? You’re gonna win?”

“I swear. This isn’t like before. I can do it.”

Shaking his head, he bites off a curse. “Fine.” He slams his fist against my shoulder. “Let’s get this shit done. You have a lot to prove, asshole. Youhave a fight to win. Then you have to call your sister, beg her forgiveness, and let her know you’re alive. But before that, you’ve gotta explain this fucking song you chose. Makes you sound like a pussy.”