Page 47

47

JACK

STEPPIN’ OUT

“ U ncle Jack! Open your door.”

I throw my remote down onto the couch and sigh.

No, I don’t think I will open my door.

I’m quite happy here in my bubble of pathetic unhappiness. It’s exhausting pretending that I’m okay. It’s exhausting sitting at my sister’s dining table, smiling, pretending, trying to ease their terrified thoughts that I might go back to being the horrible version of me.

I smile. I joke. But I want to cry.

“If you don’t open up soon, Aunt Tink said she would come over and that you wouldn’t like that.”

Fuck no. That would be the worst.

“Go away, Smalls.”

“I wanna come in!” She bangs on the door with fighter’s fists. “I wanna go out on a date.”

I’m on my feet before my brain catches up to my body.

Swinging the door wide open, I glare at my not yet thirteen-year-old niece. “Bring him to meet me first. You won’t wanna date the little shit after you watch him cry.”

She rolls her eyes. “Not boys, Uncle Jack. That’s disgusting. I meant you.”

“Me? Me, what?”

“I want you to take me out on a date. Ice-cream sounds good; it’s hot as shit out here today. ”

Scrubbing my hands over my face, I sigh. “Don’t say shit, Evelyn.” Yes, I get the hypocrisy. No, I don’t care. “Your mom will kill us both.”

“I won’t say shit if you take me out for ice-cream. I really want some, but Mom said she’s too busy with Biggie right now.”

Sounds like Mom’s getting laid and being sneaky about it by sending her daughter over here.

“I bet if you looked real hard, you’d find ice-cream in someone’s freezer. I betcha anything Aunt Tink has some.”

“She doesn’t. I checked. We watched movies and ate it all last night. I went to bed and dreamed of ice-cream sundaes.” She grins foolishly. “It was amazing.”

“You’re a bunch of fatties.” Turning away from the door, I go back to my sparsely furnished living room. I have a couch and a TV downstairs. I have a bed and a toilet upstairs.

That’s about it.

I can’t say I’ve been all that enthusiastic about decorating.

I don’t know how Bambie would like a home decorated – though I bet she’d lean toward Metallica band posters on the walls – and, well, if she’s not here to choose with me, which is the only time I’d get enthusiastic about decorating a home, then I guess it ain’t happening.

Less cleaning for me to do.

Evie follows me in and stops at the floor to ceiling windows. Tugging the heavy drapes open, she sends dust flying through the rays of blinding sunlight. “Do you know Beauty and the Beast, Uncle Jack?”

“Disney? Sure.”

“You remind me of the Beast.”

I turn back and frown. “How so?”

“You’re always sitting in the dark, sulking like a big grumpy bear.”

“Oh.” Damn. “I was hoping it was because I was brave and handsome like the prince.”

“You’re not brave!” she scoffs. “Brave people get up and go into the sun. They make things happen. Brave people do not sulk.”

“Jesus, Smalls.” Walking toward her, my already pained heart breaks just a little bit more. If I can’t be Bambie’s prince, then the least I can hope for is for my niece to think of me as strong and brave. “You know how to cut a guy down. That hurt.”

Her hard eyes soften instantly. “I’m sorry, Uncle Jack. I didn’t mean to hurt you.” Her bottom lip wobbles. “I can be a real jerk sometimes. I don’t think about people’s feelings before I say mean things.”

“Hey.” I step the last few feet between us and I pull her against my chest. My left arm is still in a sling, so I use my right arm to squeeze her extra tight. “Don’t cry, Bug. Being honest is not a flaw. You’re so brave. Braver than you’ll ever know. Being honest is brave, baby. A trait that a lot of grown-ups are too cowardly to grasp.”

“But I hurt feelings.”

“It only hurts because it’s true. I am a coward; you’re right.”

“Miss T isn’t a bitch.”

“No, baby, she’s not. She’s brave, too. Super brave. And she knows you’re sorry. She knows you didn’t mean it.”

“Did you tell her?”

“I did, I promise. I told her, and she said she’s really excited about going back to school because she misses you. She told me she loves you.”

“I love her too. She’s like my aunty.”

I scrunch my eyes tight and look up to the ceiling.

Bambie could’ve been her aunty. Once upon a time. In another life. But in this time, in this life, I messed it up.

“You can see her again soon. She’s excited to see you at school.”

“Do you think she’ll come back here and skate? I didn’t finish learning yet.”

No. I don’t. “I think she’s not allowed to skate right now, because she has a sore arm. But maybe in a few months. You could ask her at school.”

I’ll make myself scarce. My family loves her and she loves them. I’ll give the estate a wide berth to allow Bambie space to visit, if that’s what she wants.

Blinking back the tears that burn my eyes, I lean down and press a kiss to my niece’s hair. “Come on. Let’s get some ice-cream. My treat.”

She giggles sadly. “It has to be your treat. I don’t have a job yet.”

“When you’re a famous fighter, you can pay me back.”

“I will be a famous fighter. I’m gonna be a world champion.” Her declaration is so confident, so sure, I don’t doubt her for a second. There will be a second generation of Kincaid champions. “I’ll keep the belt in our gym. I promise.”

“I believe you, Bug. And I’ll be your corner man.”

“You promise?”

“I promise so hard. Not even Biggie will be able to take my spot in your corner. Come on,” stepping back, I grab my keys and hat, “let’s get some ice-cream. Go and get Bean, too, if you want.”

Ten minutes later, the girls are buckled into my Mustang and we’re heading toward town. I didn’t miss the hesitant smiles from my sisters, or the low-fives Evie got for coaxing me out of my house .

She might’ve been tasked with getting me out, but her tears and remorse for what she said to Bambie weren’t fake.

“Do you guys want ice-cream on a stick from Jonah’s, or you want the good stuff from Dixie’s?”

“Dixie’s.”

No doubt my expensive ass nieces choose the eight-dollars a scoop ice-cream, rather than the two-dollars on a stick.

Nobody ever said we weren’t raising high-maintenance princesses… the issue comes with the fact they also know how to fight.

Good luck, world.

Using my knees to steer, my good arm to downshift, and my chin to correct my shitty-knee-steering, I roll into the parking spaces on the street and pull on the handbrake.

Turning in my seat, I grin as both girls rush to undo their belts. “Let’s go, ladies.”

Evie’s sassy smile stops me before I turn away. “Are we on a date, Uncle Jack?”

“Uh-huh.” I reach back and chuck her chin. “Don’t tell the others, but you two are my favorite. We’re the OG, ladies, and it’s my pleasure to take you on an ice-cream date.”

Climbing out of the Mustang, Evie hooks her arm around mine, then Bean hooks hers around Evie’s. We step onto the sidewalk, then I push the heavy door open with my hip and inhale the icy cold air-conditioning.

“What flavors do you want?”

“I want chocolate,” Evie answers instantly.

Bean runs to the front counter and presses her nose to the frosted glass. “I want Strawberry Sherbet.”

“Unless you’re volunteering to clean it, get your hands off that glass, Lucy Kincaid.”

She jumps back and tucks her arms behind her back. “Sorry.”

I look past the counter into the young cashier’s eyes, order our frozen treats, then pay and follow the girls to a seat in the far corner.

“This is so yummy,” Evie moans with a mouthful. “This is where Mom and I took Miss T that time.”

“Yeah?” I scoop some Strawberry Swirl into my mouth.

Nodding, Evie closes one eye as she greedily scoops hers in and gives herself a brain freeze. “Yup. But we sat outside.”

“It’s too hot for that today,” Bean adds.

She’s not wrong. It’s nearly in the hundreds. The road is melting beneath our feet .

We sit in silence and eat our treats. I assume the girls are thinking about the upcoming women’s fight on pay-per-view that they used their dads’ credit cards for. Hopefully they’re not thinking about boys. But I don’t give it too much thought. Naturally, I just think about Bambie. About her ice-cream choices, her casted arm that I desperately wanted to scribble on, but never got the chance to before her boyfriend interrupted us

I think about her skating skills, and the fact we never got the chance to make love on the halfpipe.

Not that we would have.

She’d die if my family walked out on us, but still, the fantasy made me smile pretty damn often.

“Ewww.”

I look up into the girls’ scowling faces and pray they can’t read my mind. “What?”

“That boy just put ice-cream in his mouth, then he kissed the girl. Now she’s eating his ice-cream.”

I smother a laugh, because that’s a little gross. I turn in my seat as discreetly as I can manage. Looking across the tiled parlor to the line of red and white booths, I find who the girls are talking about.

My heart stutters at the sight of the guy’s short blonde hair, his Bob Dylan T-shirt, the motorbike helmets sitting on the chair across from them.

I can’t do this.

I can’t see this.

I can’t be here for this.

“Nope.” Standing quietly, I collect our napkins. “Get your shit,” I murmur. “We’re going.” I don’t want to be loud, I especially don’t want the kissing couple in the corner to notice me.

I already need to wash my eyes with bleach. I don’t need them to speak and add plunging the poison into my ears.

“Where are we going?”

“Shush. We’re going home. Or to the park. Hell, I’ll take you to Disney World right this second if you keep your traps shut and hustle your asses out that door.” I drop my phone into my pocket, then glance back to the slow-moving girls. “Move!”

Evie tsks obnoxiously. “You shouldn’t say ass, Uncle Jack.”

Sighing, I drop my chin to my chest with defeat. Peeking over my shoulder, I come eye-to-eye with Luc’s curious gaze.

“Goddamit, Evelyn. You’re grounded for the rest of your friggin life.”

Sitting up straighter in his seat, Luc pats his shirt neatly, like he’s nervous to see me. His broad chest blocks most of Britt from my sight, but I see her legs, her feet, her painted toenails.

Fuck, I can’t see this.

I won’t ever be able to unsee it.

Reaching across my table, I take Evie’s shoulder and shove her forward. “Go. Now.”

The girls walk with their ice-cream cups in their hands, napkins falling to the floor – since they picked up about five hundred more than we needed.

I collect the fallen napkins in their wake, and I silently give myself a desperately needed pep talk.

Don’t look at them. Don’t look at them. Don’t look. Do. Not. Look. You don’t need to watch Bambie eat ice-cream from another man’s mouth.

We have to pass within a few feet of the loved-up couple to get out the front door. Which means I passed that close to them on the way in.

Three feet.

I could reach out and touch her, if only I was brave enough to go the final three feet.

But I’m not brave. Not even a little bit.

I silently vow that I won’t look. I swear to only walk by. I mentally deny myself even a single peek out of the corner of my eyes, but like the glutton for punishment, I’m desperate for the smallest glimpse of her.

Just one look.

One glimpse.

One second to beg for her to choose me.

But when I find a bottle-blonde woman instead of Britt’s dark silk, I have Luc out of his booth and against the wall with my elbow at his windpipe in half a second.

The blonde squeals, and my nieces stop with white faces.

“You better not be stepping out on Bambie.” I lean in close to his face. “I’ll kill you for hurting her.”

His hands come up to pry mine away. “What the hell are you talking about, Reilly? Get the fuck off me!”

I don’t move. I don’t let him go. “Where is she?”

“Who?”

“Bambie!”

“I don’t know!” he snaps back, braver than he should, considering the venom that courses through my blood. “I thought we were cool! I didn’t do anything to you! ”

“You’re dating my girlfriend! You’re cheating on my girlfriend.” I lean in closer. “You hurt her, you die.”

“I’m not cheating on anyone!” He tries to shove me back. “I’m not dating anyone.”

“Hey!” Forgetting her squealing terror, the blonde pops her hip. “You’re dating me!”

Luc’s face drains white. He attempts to turn to her, but I refuse him even an inch of freedom. “I didn’t mean you, baby. I’m dating you.” He looks back to me. “I’m dating her.” He winks at me. Literally fucking winks. “We’re exclusive and everything.”

I dig my elbow into his windpipe. “No. You’re dating Bambie.”

“No,” he argues back. “I’m not! And for the record, I grew up with Britt. Bambie just sounds weird. Dude, use her real name. You give everyone the creeps when you say Bambie.”

“Who’s Britt?” Blondie asks angrily. “You better not be screwing around on me, Luca! I waited for you. I gave you another chance. I won’t let you screw me over.”

“I’m not, babe. I swear.” He turns back to me. “Let me the fuck go. I didn’t do anything wrong, and your little girlfriends are freaking out.”

I look over to Evie and Bean. They do look a little scared. Shit.

I look back to Luc. “You’re not dating Bambie?”

“No! I already said that.”

“When did you break up?”

“We never dated!”

“Laine told me that you were dating.”

“Who the hell is Laine?”

Luc’s pained eyes snap to the blonde’s, then back to mine. He rolls his eyes toward her. “Yeah, well, my sister has always been a troublemaker. You know girls. Always ganging up on us. She probably said that to mess with you. My sister’s like a bulldog at a bone. She’s mean as a snake if you mess with her friends. You messed with Britt.”

I study the way his jaw ticks. The way his nose flares.

He’s angry.

I’m angrier. “I’m gonna need you to give me straight answers, Luc.”

He sighs with frustration. “What?”

“Are you dating Britt?”

“No.”

“Did you ever?”

“No. She’s just one of my best friends’ baby sisters. I love her, but not like that. She’s my friend. ”

“Is she dating anyone else?”

“Fucked if I know!” I press my elbow harder against his throat and watch the blood drain from his face. “No!” He corrects. “I doubt she’s dating. She’s spending all her time with us. With her brothers ,” he clarifies quickly. “She’s moping around all sad and shit and watching us practice. That’s about it.”

“Where is she now?”

“I don’t know! I saw her this morning, but she didn’t say what she was doing today.”

I drop my elbow and let him go, then taking my nieces by the shoulder, I move them toward the door.

“Eat your ice-cream quick. I’m taking you home.”