Page 45 of False Start

“Oh, I’m in real estate.”

Braden nodded. “That’s cool, but what do you like to do when you’re not working?”

I didn’t miss how Kyle’s eyes slid to me then, how he leaned in like he wanted to know the answer to that question, too.

“Hang out with my son, mostly,” I said. “He’s a curious kid, loves to explore. We spend a lot of time outside.”

“What do you do for you?”

Those words came from Kyle, and I tilted my gaze up to meet his.

I swallowed, wishing I had an answer for him, but I didn’t.

The truth was that Sebastian had become my world when he was born — even more so when I left Marshall. I worked hard to provide for him, and when I wasn’t working, all I wanted to do was spend time helping him learn and grow.

I loved to watch him experience something for the first time. I loved answering his questions and helping him think of even more to ask. I loved when it was just the two of us on a lazy, rainyday, cuddled on the couch and watchingCarsfor the fifteenth time.

When I didn’t answer, Kyle’s expression shifted, and Braden muttered something about needing to make a call. He moved to the couch toward the front of the plane, and I didn’t have time to analyze the fact that he could make a call from a freaking airplane before Kyle was tilting even more toward me, his ankle crossing over the opposite knee.

“You used to write.”

I swallowed. “I used to do a lot of things.”

“Do you still write?”

“No.”

“Do you want to?”

I smiled, looking down at my lap. I realized we were still holding hands, and I glanced to make sure Braden wasn’t watching us before I pulled my hand from Kyle’s.

He frowned as soon as I did.

“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. “I think I missed it, for a while. But I haven’t felt that way in a long time.”

I didn’t expand on whatthat waymeant. Maybe he knew. Maybe he could look right through me and see that inspired was the last thing I’ve felt over the last several years.

“You love being a mom,” he said, not so much a question as an assessment.

I nodded. “More than anything in the world.”

“Sebastian is a great kid. You…” He swallowed. “He’s lucky to have you.”

My heart hollowed out with him looking at me like that, with him saying those words like he… like he wished he was a part of the family equation.

Like he had regrets.

And I couldn’t fight it any longer.

I couldn’t hold back the question that had been eating me alive since I was eighteen.

“Why did you leave?”

I whispered the words, my voice shaking and giving away the nonchalance I tried to fake with the question.

Kyle’s jaw tensed, his marble eyes holding mine. “You know why, Mads,” he croaked.

He looked hurt that I’d asked him, that I’d made him say that.