Page 107 of False Start

“Well, I think it’s safe to say you shouldn’t come home for Christmas.”

“I think it’s safe to say I never had a home to come back to, anyway.”

Mom cried harder in the background, and as much as my heart broke for her, I couldn’t forgive her right away, either. I couldn’t give her a free pass for playing into this, for not having the backbone to stand up to my father and stand up for what was right.

“Are you done now? Or do you want to keep going until your poor mother is on the floor with grief?”

“Don’t put this on me. This is all you, Dad. If Mom is crying, it’s because of the terrible lie you forced her to live with.” I shook my head. “It’s because of the choiceshemade to keep that secret. And here I thought you might actually apologize, that we could maybe work through this as a family.” I tongued the inside of my cheek. “But now I know I never had a family to begin with.”

“Someday, you’ll understand,” he said — and the bastard said it with such conviction it made me laugh.

“No, Dad. I’ll never understand how you could lie to your son’s face about his child. I’ll never understand how you could leave a teenage girl on her own. I’ll never understand how you could celebrate the loss of your owngrandchild.”

“Then I guess we have nothing left to say.”

“I guess so,” I mirrored, and then I hung up the phone.

Less than an hour later, I was at Madelyn’s door.

I knocked hard four times, a gray drizzle soaking my long sleeve shirt even in July.

When Madelyn opened the door, her brows slid together, and she immediately dragged me inside and into her arms.

I crushed her to me, squeezing my eyes tight as I wrapped her up like she’d disappear if I didn’t hold on tight enough. She clung to me just as desperately, and then her lips found mine, and I sighed into her kiss, losing myself, losing the day.

Madelyn dragged her lips over every inch of my neck, my collarbone, along the line of my jaw before she was capturing my mouth again. It was as if she saw the pain before I even said a word, like she was intent on melting it all away with her touch before I could even fully express what I was feeling.

“Sebastian?” I asked.

“Asleep,” she answered against my lips.

I lifted her, holding her to me as her legs wrapped around my waist. Then, we were traveling back down the hallway to her bedroom, into her en suite bathroom, and I ran the shower hot without letting her out of my arms.

I didn’t drop her until it was time to undress, and I peeled each article of clothing off her while she tugged at mine.

“Need you,” I rasped against her mouth each time I claimed it. “Need you so fucking much.”

“I’m here,” she promised, and when we were bare, she pulled me into the shower, pinning me against the cool tile wall and kissing me hard.

I kissed her unhurriedly, exploring her with my hands and mouth as the water ran in hot rivulets over our bodies.

I never would have left you if I’d known.

I would have stayed.

I love you.

I hoped she could hear the words I couldn’t say, and by the way she climbed back into my arms and wrapped herself around me, I knew she could.

With her arms around my neck and mine around her waist, I lifted her enough to place myself where we both needed the connection.

And I filled her.

I slid inside all at once, stretching her, catching her gasp of an exhale with my mouth and holding her to me as I rooted myself deep.

Outside that shower, there were warning signs and hurdles to jump, conversations to have, a cold reality to face.

But under the water, it was just us.