Page 32 of Falling for a Grumpy Hero

LILA

W hy am I so on edge right now? I was never wary of anyone, but when Ford drove us to a beach-side restaurant and took me inside, nerves swirled through me.

Why are we here? Is it a date? Or does he want a more neutral location to carry on our shocking conversation?

I didn’t quite know what to make of the fact that he suddenly wanted to pay me more.

He’d also called me an interior designer that would be on their staff at CE, but if he’d wanted an interior designer on staff, he could’ve had one years ago.

Which had brought me to my question. Was this only because we kissed?

But nope.

Ever so calmly, with his eyes smoldering and his body language completely open, he’d denied it. Apparently, he’d kissed me because he’d wanted to and that was all there was to it.

Uh, no. No, guys like Ford didn’t go around kissing people and promoting them two days later. Guys like Ford? Uh-oh. Get yourself together, girl. He’s not one of those guys.

I huffed out a breath, turning to the bank of windows beside our table so I wouldn’t have to look at him while I tried to determine if this was a quid pro quo thing, or if the kiss and the promotion truly didn’t have anything to do with each other.

I wanted to be an interior designer more than anything, but I didn’t want the job if I only had it because I’d made out with the boss.

For just a moment, however, the view outside the windows took my breath away and banished everything except for the pure splendor of the world outside.

He hadn’t just brought me to a beach-side restaurant.

He’d brought me to a beach-side restaurant that made it feel like we were in our own little corner of the world.

From here, I couldn’t see the other businesses, cafes, or stores I knew were nearby.

I couldn’t see crowds on the beach or even traffic on a street.

All I saw were miles upon miles of sparkling blue water.

White sandy beaches. Some boulders scattered here and there like a giant hand had positioned them perfectly to decorate the landscape.

It felt peaceful.

I drank it in, borrowing some of the tranquility of the scene to calm my racing mind. At the end of the day, Ford really wasn’t one of those guys and I knew it. He wasn’t appointing me as an interior designer simply because he’d had his tongue down my throat.

Which means I need to find out what’s going on in his head.

When I’d told him about Eliza’s request, I’d expected an outburst and that wasn’t what had happened.

It’d thrown me for a loop, but as I turned back to him, I realized that he definitely wasn’t angry or even annoyed that I hadn’t told him earlier.

In essence, he’d been ambushed by my argument with his client, but he hadn’t missed a beat. He’d stood up for me, run off said client, and then told me I was getting promoted.

None of it made sense and yet he seemed completely relaxed as he eyeballed the menu. His clean-shaven jaw wasn’t clenched, his posture loose, and in a truly shocking move from him, he wasn’t even scowling.

“Why aren’t you upset with me?” I blurted out, genuinely wondering if he was faking this calm, collected thing he had going on. “I basically went to a client behind your back and got hired for a job you didn’t assign me to do. All while I’m still working for you.”

While I was being honest, I wondered if I should just keep going.

Lay it all out there in the open and tell him that I had a crush on him.

That I was overthinking this promotion thing because I really wanted both things to be true—that he’d kissed me only because he wanted to and that he meant to protect me professionally—but that I was too scared to believe that.

Too scared to think that I might’ve found the man I’d always wanted and gotten my dream job in one fell swoop. It seemed too unlikely, especially considering his fragile emotional state.

As I stared into those deep blue eyes from across the table though, I knew that I wouldn’t be doing him or me any favors if I admitted that I liked him as more than just a boss.

I knew him well enough to understand that he had a hard time processing his feelings and he’d probably feel ambushed by a random declaration of affection.

So I kept my mouth shut and simply watched as his head cocked, those strong features still way more relaxed than I’d probably ever seen them. Finally, those full lips that had been on mine just a couple days ago even twitched into a tiny smile.

“I don’t see it that way, Lila. You told me she invited you out to lunch and practically begged you to be her designer. That’s not what it looks like when you go behind someone’s back.”

“But—”

“As long as she knows you’re not done with school yet and you’re both on the same page, I don’t see any reason why you can’t do it. You don’t need my permission to say yes, but you have it. In case you were wondering.”

“But why?”

Afternoon sunshine spilled in through the windows, dusting across his skin as he shrugged. “Why what?”

“Why aren’t you angry?”

“Why should I be?” His head cocked slightly, a few strands of dark hair falling across his forehead with the movement. “She wants to hire you and you want the job. Have I got that right?”

My eyebrows slowly lifted as I nodded, realizing that perhaps what had really been the source of my confusion was that I’d expected Ford to react the way Ben might’ve. But Ford wasn’t Ben. He didn’t mock, ridicule, or argue about my dreams and my wishes.

Just like he’d done when he’d seen me facing off with Rodrigo, he was supporting me. Simply because this was what I wanted and the client wanted it too.

“Thank you,” I murmured, tucking my hair behind my ears before I glanced at the server when I felt a presence moving in beside our table. I’d been so focused on Ford that I hadn’t even seen anyone approach us, but I turned to offer her a smile as I ordered my drink.

Ford barely even glanced at her, his attention entirely focused on me. “I’ll just have a Coke please. Thank you.”

As she nodded and walked away, he arched an eyebrow at me. “Lila? You haven’t answered me. Why did you think I’d be mad about this?”

I lifted my gaze back to his, realizing in that moment that I was completely at risk of not only falling for him, but falling head over heels. Hard. Fast. Completely.

While I’d been giggling to Addy about it on the phone, it’d all seemed so new and exciting, but now, I was starting to understand that if I let this fall happen, I had to be ready to get my heart shattered. Because if anyone had the ability to do that to me, it was him.

The closest I’d felt to him wasn’t when we’d kissed, but when he’d told me about the accident that had ended his career in the military and killed his best friend. It’d been the rawest, realest I’d ever seen him, but he was a hard man to decipher.

The more I peeled back all those layers and caught glimpses of who he was behind the armor he’d put up around himself, the more I liked him. I just didn’t know if he was capable of feeling the same way—and of ever letting me in the way I knew I needed to be let in.

Which meant that for now, I had to be careful, so I refocused on him and chose my words with a healthy dose of caution.

“I guess I just thought you might be angry because I didn’t tell you sooner.

You literally found out when you walked in and found me arguing with your client. That had to have stung.”

“Not really. You’re talented. It’s no wonder Eliza wants to hire you. I’m just taking you under my wing to protect you.”

“Okay, but why do you feel the need to protect me?” I asked, looking him right in the eyes and longing to hear an answer I knew he wouldn’t give. “Especially since I waited so long to tell you.”

“You said you were waiting for the right time. I get that. I understand how it never came. There was my injury, PT, the storm…” He flicked his gaze to the ocean and held it there for a beat before bringing those blue eyes back to mine.

“In the time I’ve known you, I’ve come to learn that you only see the good in people.

That’s why I want to protect you. It’s also probably why you keep hanging out with me and why you won’t leave me alone even if I’m being an asshole. ”

“Or that could be because I like you, which I do. It’s that simple.” I hesitated for a moment before I smiled. “It’s nice to know that you’re self-aware enough to know when you’re being an asshole, though.”

He chuckled. The waitress brought our drinks, silencing him. It kind of felt like there was something more he wanted to say, but he moved his eyes back to the ocean and sipped his Coke, becoming quieter and quieter.

“Why did you bring me here?” I finally asked, gentle, but too curious to let it go completely. “We could’ve just gone back to the office.”

“We could have, but I could tell you were worried about me finding out that Eliza had asked you to be her designer. I figured we should get that out of the way before we went back to work. I’ll drop you off when we’re done here. Either at the office or at home. Your choice.”

“Drop me off?” I frowned. “Why? Where are you going?”

“Support group meeting.” He sighed heavily, suddenly looking like there was a thundercloud gathering over his head. “I missed the last one and I try not to skip them.”

“Do those help?” I asked. “Again, you don’t need to tell me if you don’t want to. I just thought I’d ask in case you want to talk about it.”

To my surprise, he didn’t snap at me or tear me a new one for constantly asking about stuff he didn’t bring up himself.

He just shrugged. “No, if I’m being completely honest, they don’t really help.

Sometimes, I feel like they might. A little bit, but mostly, it just gives me someplace to be where I can hear about what other people went through. ”

“Can I come with you?” The question shot out of me before I could stop it and my cheeks instantly flared with heat. “I mean, is that something that’s allowed?”

I nearly fell out of my chair when he nodded.

He didn’t seem stoked about it, but he took me with him to the local church once we were done at the restaurant.

I wasn’t sure what to do when we got there, though.

Ford strode into one room, the door swinging shut behind him, and I stayed behind in the hallway, pretty sure I wasn’t supposed to follow him in there.

A girl around my age came in, and to my relief, she seemed a little more clued in. When she noticed me just standing there, she took pity on me. “Are you here for the family and friends support group or the veterans group?”

“Uh, family and friends.”

“Awesome.” She smiled and motioned at a door just down the hall. “So am I. We’re right through there. I’m Caitlin, by the way.”

“Lila. Thanks for helping me.” I followed her to the door, but hung back when she started saying hi to people after we’d walked in.

I kind of felt like an invader all of a sudden. Or an intruder. I really shouldn’t have asked if I could come.

Everyone seemed friendly and cheerful though, so unlike the guy who’d brought me here.

The guy I wanted more insight into, which was why I’d asked.

So I drew in a deep breath and reminded myself why I’d come.

I wanted to know how I could better support him.

If there was a way in which I could help him heal.

And maybe also to see if I could gain any knowledge about whether he was emotionally able to let people in.

As soon as I joined the circle where the others were all in the process of sitting down, Caitlin introduced me and explained that family and friends met in one room while the soldiers met in another.

The woman who ran the group called the meeting to order not long after, and for the next hour, I listened attentively to the experiences of those who had been supporting loved ones for much, much longer than I had.

It reminded me a lot of the support groups I’d once attended and I quickly fell into the rhythm of it, comfortable in places where sharing was encouraged. I couldn’t imagine Ford felt the same.

As it turned out, Caitlin was here to support her brother. She talked compassionately about how much he’d changed after coming home and how she wasn’t sure he would ever be the same, and I realized that Ford couldn’t be the same person either.

The woman in charge gave sound advice to everyone who shared—myself included—and I lapped it up. By the time the meeting adjourned, I’d made up my mind about how to handle my situation with Ford.

Now all I had to do was hope like hell that he would allow me to do it.