Page 21 of Falling for a Grumpy Hero

LILA

I n search of a bathing suit that was both cute and appropriate for a barbecue at a colleague’s house that had a nice pool, I hit the mall with Addy on Saturday morning.

The earthy, bitter scent of freshly brewed coffee wafted through the air along with the low, general hum of air-conditioning, people, and activity.

Walking beside my best friend, I had a latte in my hand and I was scouring the storefront of every shop we passed in the hopes of finding a boutique that looked promising. Addy pointed at a door coming up ahead.

“You should find something in there,” she said, bringing her coffee closer to her mouth. “That’s my go-to whenever I need something special, but remind me again why you need a new suit for this? You’re just going to a work thing, aren’t you?”

I shook my head. “Jared’s barbecue is legendary. It’s an annual event that everyone has been talking about all week and this is my first time socializing with my coworkers. The newest bathing suit I have is about three years old and it’s all washed out. I won’t be comfortable, showing up in that.”

Addy gave me the side-eye as we walked into the little store she’d pointed out. “Uh-huh. I’m sure that’s what it’s about. On a completely unrelated note, is Ford going to be there?”

“I don’t know.” I blushed and ducked my face to hide behind my loose hair, murmuring my response. “I really hope not, though.”

When I finally looked up again, Addy was staring right at me, eyebrows slightly raised as she planted her hands on her hips. “What happened, Li? Don’t even try to deny it. You’re not even red right now, you’re… plum. Obviously, something happened.”

Yeah, something had happened, alright. My boss had kissed the “ this is a real bad idea ” right out of me and then he’d disappeared. I hadn’t seen him once since he’d silently dropped me off at my apartment after and then driven off like a furious T-Rex had been chasing him.

The kiss had been on my mind a lot, though. It’d been sudden, scorching hot, and spectacular, the kind of kiss that had the power to end wars and evoke fantasies of happily ever afters—and then it had been over.

Abruptly. Totally.

I was still struggling to accept that he’d just stopped, turned around, and walked away. Meanwhile, I’d been reduced to a vat of liquid heat that had been stuck in a blast freezer—and I still didn’t know why.

One minute, he’d been all over me, literally caging me in against that wall and kissing me as savagely and passionately as if he’d been waiting all his life to do it, and the next, he’d been in his truck, engine revving, and making me feel like I was lucky he hadn’t just left me there. Talk about hot and cold.

“Lila?” Addy prompted and I fell out of my thoughts, blinking hard and shrugging before I decided to tell her the truth.

I’d never lied to her about anything and I wouldn’t start now, especially not on account of a man who had literally been avoiding his own office ever since. “Ford kissed me last week.”

I blurted out the words before I could lose my nerve, moving on to describe the storm and the rain-soaked moments we’d shared. Addy’s eyes widened, her jaw growing slack as she listened. By the time I was done, even her cheeks were a tiny bit flushed.

“Holy hell, that sounds intense.”

“I know, right?” I sighed. “There’s only one problem. Ford Callahan is grouchy, and miserable, and he’s been acting like he’s allergic to me ever since. That’s not supposed to be my type.”

Amusement sparked to life in her eyes and her head slanted. “What is supposed to be your type, then?”

I’d been thinking about this a lot and I rattled it all off from the top of my head without skipping a beat. “I want someone who could love me and tell me so, you know?”

Leaning against a rail I hadn’t realized was on wheels, I almost fell flat on my face when it suddenly started sliding away from me.

I caught my balance just in time and groaned, straightening up and shaking my head before I sent a piercing glare toward the ceiling.

“Well, that’s just great. Now even the shop fittings are conspiring against me. ”

She chuckled. “Nothing is conspiring against you. Hey, look at me, Lila. Ford obviously isn’t allergic to you. The kiss might’ve just caught him off-guard. What happened to how good of a heart he has? To me, that sounds like exactly your type.”

“It’s not. A good heart is one thing, but it doesn’t make up for everything else. What I need is a man of many words. Someone who will be loud and proud about loving me and who is hardcore ready to do life with me the fun way.”

Addy paused for a beat before she laughed.

“If you want a guy like that, you’d be looking for the male version of yourself, but you already had that with Ben and look how that turned out.

That dude would not shut up and he was always ready for one of your adventures, but he was also a closet commitment-phobe who couldn’t take anything but his job seriously. ”

“I hadn’t looked at it that way,” I admitted quietly, blinking a few too many times as the realization sank in that she was right.

Ben had talked a lot. At least as much as me. He’d been super vocal about the fact that I was his girlfriend when there were other men around and he’d always made me feel like he was proud of being with me, but when push had come to shove, he hadn’t seen us going anywhere.

He just hadn’t bothered to tell me that before we’d gotten serious. Moved in together. Started planning our lives together.

Deep down, I’d always felt like something was missing in our relationship.

A connection, perhaps. That notorious but indefinable spark I’d heard and read so much about.

I hadn’t been sure about a future with him either, but I’d been willing to give it a shot until he’d decided it wasn’t working for him.

Under the circumstances, I couldn’t blame him for calling it off. In fact, I’d felt sort of grateful to him for pulling that trigger before we got in any deeper.

Now I’d met a man I had an undeniable connection with.

I’d definitely felt sparks galore when he’d kissed me, but His Grumpyship didn’t seem at all ready for the epic, storybook-worthy kind of love I was looking for.

But ready or not, maybe my feelings for him aren’t something I should be ignoring as thoroughly as I have been.

I focused on Addy again, my mind racing.

The next thing I knew, words were spilling out of me like a flood, but she kept up, used to being my soundboard in moments like this.

“Let’s say you’re right. Let’s say that what I thought should be my type isn’t my actual type.

I’m still someone who loves love. I want to feel it deeply and spread it around.

Ford isn’t like that. He seems like the sort of guy who hasn’t ever loved anyone other than his dog, and even that’s a stretch. ”

“Maybe you should just start by telling him that you have a crush on him,” she said calmly. “See how he reacts to that rather than simply deciding that he’s incapable of loving someone the way you think you want to be loved.”

“I don’t think he’s incapable. I think he’s just unwilling.

” God, I don’t know if that’s devastating or infuriating, but it sure is something.

“I also can’t just go around telling my boss that I have feelings for him.

No matter what happens between us, I really am starting to love my job and I don’t want to lose it.

I also can’t afford to lose it, so there’s that. ”

“Do you think he’d fire you for liking him?” Her eyes narrowed like she didn’t believe that in the slightest. “From everything you’ve said about it, CE seems like a pretty laid-back company. I doubt there are rock-solid HR policies in place against workplace relationships over there.”

“That’s true.” In the short period of time I’d been there, I’d learned that people at CE dated all the time and it was never a big deal. It just made for gossip around the coffee maker. Personally, I loved that kind of thing, but I didn’t know if Ford would be able to handle it.

And that’s if he even wants me the same way that I want him. On the other hand, he’d kissed me . He’d made the move. Not me.

“I’ll think about it,” I said finally before I spun around and actually started looking at the garments available in the little boutique.

A shop assistant was eyeing us from behind a counter, no doubt suspicious of these women who’d walked in and hadn’t checked out a single item yet. I smiled at her, hoping she accepted my silent apology for us commandeering her store for a pep talk before we’d even bought anything.

She didn’t return my smile, but she didn’t chase us out either.

As I sighed and swung my head away from her, I spotted a few swimsuits on display against the back wall and drifted over with Addy in tow, thankfully finding many beautiful, sparkly but affordable creations to distract me from my thoughts of the tantalizing lips of the man who signed my paychecks.

I shook my head at myself. Crap, out of all the men in the world, why did I have to be attracted to him?

Addy picked up a green one-piece with cutouts around the hips and a low back, examining it before she held it out to me. “This would look amazing on you.”

I took it from her, but I wasn’t convinced it was suitable to wear to a coworker’s house. “It’s gorgeous, but don’t you think it’s a little risqué for a daytime barbecue with colleagues?”

“Girl, I believe that if you’ve got it, flaunt it. It’s not a G-string. Your ass would be secure and your nipples won’t be flapping around either. That makes it appropriate.”

I giggled, staring into those dark eyes for a beat as I tried to decide if she was serious. “Is that really your definition of appropriate ? No ass or flapping nipples and we’re good to go?”

She rocked her head back and forth. “Yeah, I think so. I mean, I wouldn’t wear it to a work thing, but I teach kids. What’s appropriate for me is very different. You could totally pull that off.”

I ran my fingers over the satiny material and dropped my gaze back to the suit, ending up buying it as well as a floral-patterned one-piece with a bra-bikini-like top and a cute bow at the front.

Undecided about which one I would actually wear, I left the store with both, relieved to at least have options now.

Addy chatted to me about Taylor and some of their plans for the weekend as we left the mall. A little ways down the block, we passed a very bougie new “doggy spa” that seemed to have just opened up. Immediately, I tried to imagine bringing Rook to a place like this and I chuckled.

“What is it?” she asked, eyes bulging when she noticed the place. “Oh, my gosh. Really? I love dogs, but do they need a spa? I don’t even take myself to those because it’s so expensive.”

I shrugged. “I could use a spa day in the near future. We should save and splurge on it as a treat, but I was actually just thinking that Ford and Rook would probably both keel over if they saw this place.”

Addy smiled. “When it comes to Ford, maybe that’s what you should do?”

“Bring him to a place that would make him keel over?” I frowned through my amusement. “That wouldn’t really be helpful, Ads.”

She laughed. “No, not that. I meant that maybe you should befriend his dog. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, but your man seems different, so maybe the way to his heart is through his pet.

Also known as the only creature he has ever loved according to you.

Use it, don’t use it. But if you really want to find out if he’s that guy you’ve been looking for, do it. Become Rook’s best friend.”