Page 18 of Falling for a Grumpy Hero

FORD

A t one of my meetings with Rook in tow, I stroked my fingers through his thick fur and tried to pay attention to what the guys were saying this time.

The last couple meetings, I’d really zoned out, but after everything that had happened since I’d received that letter, I knew I had to focus on learning from the guys around me.

Since it was a Saturday night, no one was in as much of a hurry to finish up as they sometimes were and it seemed like a lot of them were taking the opportunity to really unpack the things they hadn’t gotten to before.

Most spoke for longer than usual, sharing hair-raising stories of the experiences they had not only overseas, but after they’d come home.

I listened attentively, and while I still wasn’t moved to share more of what I’d been through myself, I did find some measure of comfort in learning that I wasn’t the only one here who struggled with nightmares. The flood of memories out of the blue. The triggers. Even the dark thoughts.

We ran later than usual, but I didn’t mind that either.

Truthfully, every time I actually paid attention in these meetings, I really did feel a bit better by the time I left.

When we were finally done, Taylor grinned and came up to me from the other side of the circle.

“A couple of us are going to go grab a beer. Debrief. That was pretty heavy. Would you like to join us?”

I shook my head. “Thanks, but I’m okay.”

“You sure?” he asked, eyes narrowing like he wasn’t quite convinced, but he shrugged when I nodded. “Alright, well, if you change your mind, we’ll be at Puzzles just over on Church.”

“Maybe next time.”

Taylor dropped his chin in a nod, turning and leaving the basement with some of the others, and I could tell that he hadn’t believed me, but strangely, I had meant it. Maybe next time, I would join them.

For now, however, I walked into the mild summer night with Rook by my side, and I decided not to drive home right away.

Taylor hadn’t been wrong about that being a heavy session, so instead of heading for my car, I took off down the sidewalk.

A stroll downtown would probably help to clear my head and Rook would enjoy it.

Fresh air. Life all around. No thumping of rotors or an acrid, burning scent in my nostrils.

Sliding my hands into the pockets of my jeans, I exited the church parking lot with Rook trotting beside me and admired the city skyline at night.

Along the street, stores were in the process of closing, but the restaurants and bars were lively and packed, music and laughter spilling out of the open windows and doors.

Rook and I side-stepped the crowds, the only two beings outside tonight who didn’t seem to be going anywhere.

Everyone else was either already there, chatting to friends on the sidewalk as they waited to gain entry or rushing past us, heads buried in their phones or the devices stuck to their ears as they raced to their destinations.

Once upon a time, I’d have been on my way somewhere on a Saturday night, too. Heading out with friends to grab a drink and to hunt for warm bodies to take to bed with us later on. Although I’d been focused when the occasion had called for it, I’d also been fun.

A long, long time ago . I scoffed out loud, my head turning toward a very busy bar as we passed it. It was one of those contemporary, glass-sided places that had always reminded me of a fishbowl, but the people inside seemed to be enjoying it, drinking, laughing, and dancing.

Warm white bulbs illuminated the festivities and a pang shot through me as I watched from the outside in. Always from the outside in, going on ten years real soon.

Rook suddenly went stiff at my side, letting out a longing whine that confused me until I saw her .

Lila.

At first, I thought I was imagining things when I caught a glimpse of a redhead through the crowd, but I wasn’t.

It was her, dancing with Addy, Taylor’s girlfriend who was apparently her best friend.

The two girls had their hands joined and they were taking turns twirling each other, laughing and shaking their asses like they were alone on the dance floor.

Several guys were checking them out, but the girls seemed completely oblivious, just having fun together as if neither of them had a care in the world. My mouth ticked into a rare smile as I watched her. This girl was just… sunshine.

Eternal, unending sunshine.

I’d never met anyone with as much joie de vivre . Even before the crash, I sure as hell hadn’t been that way. My smile faded at the realization.

What I was, was a dark cloud coming to rob her of that light, and that was a fucking travesty. Immediately turning away, I clicked my tongue to Rook, who whined again, but fell into step beside me.

Before we’d made it ten paces away from the bar, a familiar, feminine voice called out behind me. “Ford! Rook!”

She sounded a little winded, but when I twisted to see Lila’s racing toward us, stumbling a little as she tried to take off her low heels so she could run barefoot, she was still smiling. Always with the fucking smiling.

“Hey, guys! Wait up.”

Against my will, I stopped walking, knowing that the best thing I could do for her was to keep moving in the opposite direction, but I was a selfish prick sometimes.

It turned out that this was one of those times.

I wanted some of that light. Just for a minute, I needed to feel like I could reach out and touch it, banishing all that darkness with some of her sunshine.

“Lila,” I said curtly when she reached us. “What are you doing out here?”

“I thought that was you I saw walking by, so I thought I should come out and say hi. What are you doing tonight?”

I felt a little lost looking at her, the city lights shining in her eyes and so much excitement in her smile. Shit, why do I like it that it seems some of that excitement is about seeing me? Why can’t I just let this woman be?

“I just came from a meeting with my support group,” I explained stonily. “Rook and I thought we’d take a walk before we head home.”

“To do what?” she asked, not at all deterred by my less than enthusiastic tone. “Is there something at home that urgently requires your attention?”

“No. I was just going to go to bed. Why?”

“Because it’s early, and it’s the weekend.

” She smiled up at me before kneeling right there on the street to pet Rook.

Her shoes dangled from the fingers of one hand while she pushed the other into his fur, once again transforming him into an attention-starved, love-struck puppy.

“Hey, beautiful boy. How are you? Are you enjoying your walk?”

He leaned into her touch but made direct eye contact with me as his tongue lolled out of his mouth. I glared at the dog, wondering just what he was playing at. Asshole.

“So, listen,” she said to me and I yanked my gaze away from Rook to look at her before she saw me glowering at my own dog like some kind of jealous idiot.

“I was just about to leave. Addy’s meeting up with Taylor and some of his buddies, but I think I’ve had my fun for tonight. Unless you want to have a drink?”

“Are you riding your bike home?” I asked instead of responding to her invitation. “Alone?”

“Uh, yes. Why?”

Honestly? Because I really don’t like it, but I can’t say that without sounding like a possessive dick who has a right to feel protective or possessive . “Let me take you home again. It’s safer that way. I’ll feel better and you said you were heading home, anyway, so…”

Her brow furrowed, but then she chuckled quietly and nodded. “Yeah, sure. Okay. If you insist.”

“I do.” I didn’t know why, but I really did insist. I wasn’t about to leave her to find her own way home. Alone at night on a bicycle when some fucker almost ran her over just the other day.

After waiting for her to say goodbye to Addy and grab her purse, I pushed her bicycle back to the church parking lot where I’d left my truck and Rook stuck to her side like he was made of glue.

She giggled and kept her hand near him all the way there, but at least she was looking at me now and not at him.

“How was your meeting?” she asked, her tone light and easy. “Addy mentioned Taylor was there too. I was wondering if you were as well. I guess now I know you were.”

“I try not to miss them.” Not that it has anything to do with you. “We ran late tonight.”

Once again, I was confusing the shit out of myself by offering up random information, but Lila smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear.

Her cheeks were flushed after all that dancing and then racing out to catch us, and she was painfully beautiful like this, all soft, and innocent, and caring.

“It must’ve been a good meeting, then,” she said. “I know it’s been helping Taylor a lot, having people to talk to who understand better than anyone else can. I don’t know much about any of this stuff, but I think it’s great that you don’t miss the meetings.”

“We’re a unique subset of the population.” To put it mildly . “Taylor seemed to think it was a good meeting, sure.”

“And you?” she asked, curiosity in her gaze as she turned her head to keep looking at me while we walked. “What did you think?”

I shrugged. “I thought it was interesting to hear what those guys had to say.”

“And?”

“And what?” I frowned, somewhat thrown off by her gentle, but genuine interest in my opinion. “I won’t share the details, if that’s what you’re after.”

Her eyes widened and she shook her head. “No, that’s not it at all. I was just wondering how you felt about the meeting, but we don’t have to talk about it.”

Damn straight, we don’t.

“Have you had any other ideas for the Heritage House project?” she asked, once again smoothly but completely changing the subject. “I was just looking over some of the concept designs I did for it before Addy invited me out. It’s a mammoth task, waiting for you at that house.”

“I know. I welcome it.” I dragged in a deep breath as we rounded the final corner into the parking lot.

I decided that since she was so easy to talk to, I’d dig a little deeper tonight.

Give a little more than I should. “There are things I’m worried about, as you know, but if we can pull off even just a fraction of what we’re aspiring to so we can save the original structure, that’ll be a huge win. ”

She stared up at me for a silent beat, as if she was surprised that I’d been so forthcoming. Then she smiled so wide that my heart twisted. “It sure is going to be something to be proud of when you’re done, and I know you’re going to do it. Save that house.”

I didn’t say anything, not really used to having people put blind faith in me anymore. Lila smiled again. “I’ve been meaning to ask you, are you from around here? Is that why you’re so passionate about the history of these homes?”

“No, I’m not from around here.” I scratched around my insides and came up with another offering of random tidbits no one else would get out of me. “I moved here after I left the military.”

We reached my truck and I loaded her bike before doubling to open the door for her.

She seemed a little surprised—again—and I wondered if I’d been so bad to her that having basic manners could come as a shock.

Either way, she smiled and climbed in, turning to face me once I got settled behind the steering wheel.

“Do you have any siblings?” she asked. “I don’t. I’m an only child. So is Addy. After we figured that out, we decided that we’d be like sisters.”

I didn’t answer her question. I’d had brothers. At least, guys who had been like my brothers even though we hadn’t shared the same parents. Once upon a time. A long, long time ago. Again. Shit, everything about my life happened a long, long time ago now, hasn’t it?

“How’s that working out for you so far?” I asked instead of falling down that particular dark rabbit hole.

She chuckled. “Pretty darn well, actually. I remind her to worry less and to lighten up, and she worries for me about stuff I probably should be worried about.”

I grimaced. “That sounds… complicated.”

On our drive back to her place, she asked a few more questions and I answered some. Deflected others.

This time, the goodbye wasn’t so long. Rook and I simply dropped her off and headed home, even if I had been able to tell that she’d wanted to invite me up.

She’d sort of lingered for a moment, which was why I suspected she’d still wanted to have that drink she’d mentioned, but I’d taken off before she could ask.

The time I spent with her, the more she got to me. I didn’t need that. After Rook and I got home, he went to sulk on the couch, where he wasn’t technically allowed, while I opened my laptop to distract myself from thoughts of her.

It looks like even my dog misses her when she’s not around. It’s crazy.

I opened up my emails to check for a response from the historical society but found myself reading through an invitation from the support group to a running event they were hosting this summer. It was an annual thing and Rook and I would definitely be there.

We were both active and we jogged every day, but I was looking forward to doing it for a good cause again.

Of course, as soon as I RSVPed, my mind drifted back to Lila.

Obviously, she liked cycling, but I wondered if she’d be interested in running—and then I wondered when and how I was going to get over this sudden infatuation I had with her.

It was becoming absurd and yet I craved that sunshine she brought to the table. Craved it a lot more than I’d craved anything in a long ass freaking time. I definitely craved it a heck of a lot more than I should.