Page 74 of Fade into You

“Aimee, no, no, sweetie,” Daniel says, rushing over to pick everything up. “That’s Daddy’s.”

I drop our bags at the dining table and pull out one of the board books from the stack on the computer desk, because I know she’s going to start screaming the second he gets his wallet back. And in three, two, one… the glass-shattering shrieking begins.

“Birdie, can you—” Daniel says, but I’m already a step ahead of him.

“Yep,” I tell him, and sit down next to her with the book. She immediately ceases crying. “You can go, Daniel. I’ve got this.”

“All right, thank you.” He kisses Aimee on the head, then leans over the playpen to kiss Ava and says, “Love you, girls. Birdie, just call your mom at work if you need anything, and, uh… that’s it. I better get a move on. Bye, Jessa,” he adds, as he passes her, still standing in the doorway. “Hope we see you again soon.”

“Nice meeting you too, Mr. Rubens,” she says in an uncharacteristic act of politeness. I’m not sure he hears it because he’s halfway to the car.

“Sorry,” I tell her. “Come on in. It’s always kind of crazy here with the changing of the guard.”

She comes in and walks toward where Aimee and I are sitting on the floor. As she approaches the playpen, Ava pops up and startles her. She stands at the side of the playpen with arms outstretched, ordering in her demanding baby talk, “Uh, uhp!”

“Oh, should I, like, pick her up?” Jessa asks.

“Yah,” Ava yells at her, which makes her laugh. “Up!”

“If you don’t mind?” I cringe a little—I don’t want her to think I actually expect her to help babysit. “Sorry, once I get them settled, we’ll be able to hang out.”

“No, I don’t mind.” She shakes her head and lifts Ava out, holding her under her armpits at almost arm’s length. “Should I just set her down on the floor? Can she stand, I mean?”

“Dow!” Ava yells, squirming in the air.

“Oh, shit,” Jessa gasps. “You actually know what I’m saying. Okay. And I said ‘shit.’ Crap. I said it twice, did I just teach her to curse?”

“Now,” Ava babbles, kicking her feet. “Dow-now.”

“No, she’s heard the word ‘shit’ before.” I have to laugh at Jessa’s unfamiliarity with the ways of two-year-olds. “And yes, you can just set her down.”

Ava runs to where we’re sitting and plops down to share the book. She and Aimee start naming the colors and shapes and animals in the pictures, looking up at us for encouragement. I tell them to stay there in the living room while I go get them their sippy cups of juice from the kitchen and nod for Jessa to follow me.

As soon as she rounds the corner, I pull her into my arms and kiss her. She kisses me back for a second before pulling away, all wide-eyed.

“What?” I ask. “I’ve been waiting all day to do that.”

“But what about them?” She hitches her thumb over her shoulder.

“Thebabies?”

“Yeah,” she says, dead serious. “They can talk, can’t they?”

I laugh at her—I can’t help it. “The two-year-olds are not going to out us,” I joke, but she doesn’t laugh. She clenches her jaw and looks away from me. “Come on, you’re not for real, are you?”

She nods and crosses her arms. “Look,” she begins, uncrossing her arms again, lowering her voice. “The last thing I wanna be is a buzzkill, but you’ve gotta start being more careful, Bird. I mean it.”

“We’re in my house, Jessa. In my kitchen. They’re playing out there. It’s fine,” I whisper. “Besides, if memory serves me, we did a whole lot more than kissing at your house.”

She shakes her head. “Maybe I should just go?”

“No, please, don’t go. I promise I won’t try to kiss you again,” I say, dragging my finger in anXover my chest. “Cross my heart?”

“Okay,” she agrees, adding, “You know, we were in mybedroom, though. Alone. No one was going to come in. That’s a lot different.”

“I know,” I tell her as I go to the fridge for the juice. “I get it.”

I put on the twins’ favoriteBarneytape and Jessa helps me clean up the spilled Cheerios and put their toys in their baskets, and I try to make my home a little more presentable. They murmur along with the songs and look back at us on the couch—where we sit a full cushion apart from each other—to say words and point at the TV, making sure we’re also paying close attention. The show cuts to a scene where Barney and friends all go outside, and the girls immediately start begging to go out too.