Page 51 of Fade into You

Soon as I push through the crowd I see Kayla onstage, awkwardly trying to pair pop dance moves with the hardcore noiserock, Emmanuel looking like he ate the fucking canary and raging on his bass, the funky beat thrashing along with a shrieking guitar and drums slamming through everything like an oncoming train. People are picking up, starting to circle, and Bird is right in the middle.

I start pushing faster, trying to beat the pit, but they get into full spin before I can make it to the front. I see someone lean back and swing forward, body-slamming Bird. Shit.

She goes flying back, her drink in the air, spattering the entire pit in its downward fall. I elbow past the last few onlookers and grab her as she stumbles toward me, wrapping my arms in a hug around her and spinning her to the outside of the pit. Seeing the dude who pushed her in, I grab him, body-slam hard, and ricochet him off the biggest guy I can find. He shrieks, enjoying it, as the massive dude bounces into him. Sweat and Sprite spatter me, and while the high part of me wants to enter into the commune of minor violence and sheer human energy, the smart part of me remembers Bird. I find a hole in the crowd and push out, see her walking toward the bar area. I follow, catching her wrist, and she whips around looking ready to kill until she sees it’s me.

“I am so, so, so sorry, Bird.”

“Where were you?”

“Crapper,” I say and look at my Docs, ashamed I let her down.

“Well, thanks for saving me in there, but this isnotmy kind of place.” She looks about to cry and I want to hug her again, do anything to make her feel safe.

“It’s not always this wild, but I definitely think you’re moreof a Lilith Fair, blanket-in-the-lawn-seats type.” I’m grasping at straws.

“I happen to like Sarah McLachlan,” she yells over the noise.

“Me too!”

“What?! The edgy Jessa P actually liking a soft mainstream artist?”

“I have many skills,” I say, ducking my head and giving her a shy smile.

She smiles back, and for a second I think the night is going to be all right. But then I look past her to the bar, and suddenly I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck.

Mack.

She’s spinning on the stool and her lips are going a mile a minute. Her shoes are off and her eyes are wild, her gestures huge. She’s manic.

“Jessa?” Bird must have seen my shock. She looks concerned.

“My fucking sister is here.”

The song stops and I can hear Mack’s voice, loud and boisterous. She’s going on about connections again, how we’re all connected. This is a slope I know all too well. The day the spiel makes sense is the day I voluntarily commit myself.

“What’s wrong?” she says, and follows my eyes to my older sibling. “Is she okay?”

Mack gets up and pushes the guy next to her. She’s yelling now, but the next song is going and I can’t make it out.

“I dunno, it’s her Friday night special, bar fight.”

“She’s gonna fight?!”

“Not if I can help it,” I say, and head over to the rapidlyescalating situation, catching eyes with Harry behind the bar. He’s giving her space now ’cause he sees me, or she would be bounced.

“Mack,” I say, and tug her arm.

“Baby sister!”

“Hey, you wanna get out of here?”

“Don’t be a dud! Come here and we’ll do shots! It’s Friday night!” Harry runs a finger across his throat, letting me know she’s cut off. I’m sure she’s already full of shots, but booze isn’t what’s got her to these heights.

“I’m good. Why don’t we chill in the car for a bit?”

Her eyes turn dark and I know she’s swinging toward anger. “Why don’t you fuck off, fun police.”

“Hey, bitch, I think she’s right.” The guy she was arguing with is definitely not helping.