Page 105 of Fade into You

It seems so important all of a sudden to keep Bird’s secret, to keep that closet shut until she wants to open it. “Bird and I…”

“Spend all your time together, work on projects, and get shit on by Olivia Rubens.”

“Is she spreading this shit?”

“Mildly guessing at it, more so than telling others. I think her boyfriend has been the main offender.”

“Well, that’s fucked up,” I say, and tilt back the PBR I’ve been nursing.

“So, where’s Bird?”

“Flew away,” I say, hoping to hold back the rumor mill.

“Damn.”

“Yeah, damn.”

There is a way to get the rumors shifted, and I can see at least three people from our school in the crowd watching Natalie, because Natalie is hot and watchable. I can protect Bird, but it’s gonna hurt her too. I don’t know which is better, and the weed and booze in me are making the decision hard.

“Pick a number between one and five,” I say to her.

“Why?”

“Just do it.”

“Five,” she says, making my choice for me.

I lean forward to kiss her.

I’ve been rejected before. Been slapped, cussed at, called names. Threatened with vengeance from boyfriends. Threatened in general. But Natalie doesn’t do that. She leans back, her lips shifting away from me. My world spins a little, and she puts her hand on my shoulder, pushing me back gently.

“No, Jessa,” she says softly.

“Why?” I can feel hot tears running down my face without my permission, the thick notes of sadness in my voice.

“Because you don’t want me.”

“I do,” I say, starting to sob against my will. “I wantsomething.”

“You want Bird. I’m not willing to be your relationship suicide.”

“What if that’s what I want?”

“It’s too easy for a smart girl like you. I think you can figure out a better solution,” she says, and squeezes my shoulder.

I nod. I don’t want her. I want anything to save Bird, to keep her from being outed by her stupid evil stepsister, or god forbidDade shares anything I told him about my crush on her because he hates me… or whoever else assumes things and then shares the lies. Or, in this case, the truth.

“Now, you are trashed and I don’t have a ride home, so let me have those keys. I’m driving back to my place and you, my friend, are sleeping it off. In the car.”

“It’s gonna be cold.”

“I’ll bring you a blanket.”

It’s all a bit hazy as we get to her place, as I get into the backseat, as she brings me the blanket and a Diet Coke and some Tylenol. As I lean into the heady sleep of the drunk, trying to figure out any way to save Bird from being outed, as I drift in and out of consciousness. Only something bigger, more juicy, will fix this.

Somehow the school needs to find out about Kayla cheating on Dade.

BIRD