Page 32 of Everything After

“Jeez, was it something I said?” Elle teased from the doorway. “Poor you. You don’t have the runs as well, do you?”

“No, no runs. It’s weird because after I’m sick, I feel fine again,” I muttered, climbing back to my feet.

“Hm.” Elle studied me carefully for a moment. “This sickness, it just happens, and you don’t feel nauseated afterward? You’re not pregnant, are you?”

I scoffed. “God, no. I have an IUD inserted.”

“Since when?” she asked with brows bunched.

“Around seven… maybe eight years,” I muttered. “They’re good up to ten I think.”

“Depends on the type,” Elle muttered, casting another glance at my appearance.

“Are your boobs sensitive or do they feel bigger?”

“I. Am. Not. Pregnant!” I insisted.

Elle shook her head, studying me like she wasn’t convinced. “I don’t know, Lily. I’d be taking a test if I were in your shoes. What you’re describing doesn’t sound like food poisoning to me,” she said, pulling her cell phone out. Her eyes narrowed as she scrolled and began to text, her lip caught between her teeth in concentration.

“Who are you texting?”

“No one,” she said, stealing a glance toward me. “I’m ordering a drone delivery from Walmart.”

“Delivery?”

“Yeah, two different brands of pregnancy testing kits.”

“I’m not pregnant,” I insisted, the thought of that, especially right then with Alfie and I apart, made me feel distressed to the point where I found it hard to breathe again.

“Then you won’t mind indulging me because the worst that can happen is I’d lose around thirty bucks.” Turning on her heels. Elle walked back to the kitchen expecting me to follow. I didn’t… well not straight away, instead I stared blankly at my pale, shocked face in the mirror, and considered the possibility that my friend might be right.

Elle and I’d stared at those two pink lines on the pregnancy test. My gut fell to the floor, and I burst into tears. Panic set in to the point where I couldn’t think and I was suddenly breathless, like I was suddenly trapped in a room full of flames and there was no way out.

“I’m not! I can’t be,” I’d screamed as my nervous eyes flitted between Elle’s and the stick I still held in my hand. My head shook rapidly in denial that I was pregnant because it was the worst possible time for it to happen.

“Are too,” she muttered, nodding. “Sometimes the universe gives you what you didn’t know you needed.”

“Quit with the flippant remarks,” I hollered while tears pricked my eyes. “I can’t have a baby. I’m not ready.”

“Then you shouldn’t have had sex.”

“Are you joking? Stop behaving like this is funny. It’s not.”

Elle chuckled. “It kind of is,” she argued. “Aw come on, think about it. These two will grow up close friends.” Elle waved a finger between her obvious baby bump and my flat stomach. I bet you’re having a girl. Hell, maybe they’ll be another Jack and Lily situation.”

“Stop planning,” I snapped. “I can’t possibly have a baby right now. Work is full on and Alfie’s?—”

“Jesus, Drew is right about you,” she muttered, wide-eyed like she’d just had a revelation.

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“That you sacrifice what you’ve got with Alfie for the good of the band.”

“No, I don’t,” I argued sounding indignant.

“Fuck, listen to yourself. I can’t have a baby right now. What about Alfie? It’s his baby too—or is it?”

My jaw dropped because this was Elle, probably the only other person in the world I figured knew me well enough to form an opinion I’d listen to without question. Yet, there I was being backed into a corner and forced to see my life through her eyes.