Page 158 of Everything After

Cody chuckled, pulled a hand out of his pocket and rubbed the back of his neck. “So shit,” he muttered in agreement. “But Lily having this baby has given me the push I need to truly understand she’ll never be mine.”

I should have felt incensed at Lily, mine and Cody’s name in the same sentence, but I didn’t because my wife and I were solid, and in the best place that we’d ever been in.

“Guess we’ve all had a reset, huh?” I suggested.

Cody nodded. “I should have heeded that threat you made years ago,” he mumbled and glanced down at the floor.

“Threat?”

“Right before we went on tour with Cobham Street you asked me to take care of her…”

I nodded. “Right, I remember that well,” I agreed.

“Then in the next breath you said, ‘Fuck her and you’re dead, we clear?’”

I nodded. “Yup, I did make that threat,” I agreed again, wondering where he was going with the conversation.

“Lily means the world to me, but hand on my heart, we’ve never crossed a line.”

“I know.”

“You know how?” he challenged.

“My wife said so,” I admitted flatly.

“I want you to know I never tried. But I’ll admit, I talked the talk a few times… what I’m saying is your wife loves you… and only you.”

“So where does that leave everything?” I asked with narrowed eyes.

“That depends on Lily,” he admitted.

“On Lily? I’m not sure I know what you mean?” I said, frowning.

“Is she staying with XrAid?”

“You’d need to ask her that question. Can I ask why you want to know?”

“I’ve been putting feelers out… and there’s a solo record deal on the table with another label. If Lily wants to stay with XrAid, I think I’m going to take it.”

For a second or two I wasn’t sure what to make of his news, then I carefully eyed him to see if he’d expected a reaction of one kind or another from me. When all I saw was a guy who was trying to make amends, I knew I could afford to sound gracious in my reply.

“Do what makes you happy. I’ve told Lily the same. It’s her call what happens next. A solo career might be exactly what you need to break the cycle of this eternal pining phase about Lily you’ve been in. But if you both stay with the band, I won’t interfere. I accept it must have been tough to have gotten nothing back with the feelings you have, but I want you to know, it hasn’t been a smooth ride for me in all this either. No matter how pissed it makes me, I do give you kudos for having the balls to be honest with both me and my wife about having those feelings for her.”

CHAPTER 79

LILY

Digs immediately held out his arms to receive Charlie the moment I re-entered the sitting room after my son had been fed. “I’ve still to have a go,” he said, grinning like my son was a computer game or something.

As I was placing Charlie into Digs’ arms, I automatically sought out Alfie. My heart sank when I saw him and Cody talking behind the glass patio door. “Shit, that’s the last thing I need,” I muttered aloud as I strode toward them.

“Hold up, princess,” Rick said, intercepting me. He caught me by my wrist. “Let them talk. They’ve been out there a good twenty minutes, and I haven’t seen a white-knuckled fist clench yet. Once you consider this, I think their pow-wow is going well.” I glanced up at Rick who gave me an affectionate smile. “Anyway, where’s my hug? I got a fist bump from your old man and a body hug from your precious little bundle of joy, so don’t disappoint me.”

My chest felt tight as I stepped into Rick’s outstretched arms and glanced over his bicep to take in Alfie and Cody again.

Rick squeezed me tighter. “Tell me that you and Lennie have sorted out your differences.” I shrugged. We kinda had, but not completely. “The poor guy’s developed erectile dysfunction and hardly slept a wink since you shut him out.”

Guilt gnawed at my gut because it hurt me to think I’d been so cruel and left him to stew the way I had. Then I remembered how insensitively he’d treated me and pushed my guilt away. I lifted my head to make eye contact with Rick. “Really?”