Page 114 of Everything After

I opened the car door, hopped out and ran to open her door for her. While helping her out, I asked, “Which song did you have in mind?”

“An oldie but goodie. The one you sang to me the first time we went to that karaoke bar.”

“Dierks Bentley… “Come a Little Closer”? The one we danced to at home?”

“That’s the one,” she confirmed, smiling.

“I reckon that would be the perfect song after the past few months.”

It had gone past 11:30 p.m. and I’d had three glasses of Californian wine by the time I slid naked into the heated pool. I lifted Lily into the water beside me.

Arching her back, Lily wetted her long hair, stretched her body above the water, then stood beside me again.

Lily’s baby bump had become more noticeable in the previous few days, and up until now, I’d been mindful about allowing Lily some time to adjust to her feelings about being a mom. Now that she had begun to show, I wanted to experience the pregnancy more by celebrating the miracle inside of her.

Reaching out, I placed my hand on her belly, stroked back and forth across it, and smiled. “He’s really beginning to make his presence known now,” I stated.

“Kicking is becoming more noticeable too,” she replied. The smile on her face confirmed she’d gotten used to the idea now.“You know, I thought you’d be more excited, but you’re not talking about the baby much.”

“I’ve deliberately not made a big deal of it because I didn’t want to freak you out. I guess I’ve played it down so as not to antagonize you.”

“Antagonize?”

“Maybe that’s the wrong word, but I don’t want to do anything that makes you feel anxious about being a mom.”

Tears welled in her eyes, and she shook her head. “God, Alfie, I’m so sorry.”

“Don’t be, it’s fine.”

“No, it isn’t. I hate that you’ve hidden your excitement about being a dad because you’re afraid to upset me. I’ll admit, I was petrified about all kinds of things when I first found out. But since I felt our baby moving inside me, I’ve let go of the baggage that was weighing me down and I’m quietly excited now.”

“You have no clue what a relief it is to hear you say that. I’m so excited I could burst at the thought of this little one being born. Time can’t go fast enough for me.”

“I’m sorry. Please don’t keep your feelings from me.”

“Can I tell you something without upsetting you?” I asked.

“You can tell me anything.”

“There were times when I thought your lack of willingness to discuss starting a family was because you didn’t want kids. Sometimes you’d start an argument when I’d suggested us making a timeline to start a family.”

“That’s true, I did do that,” she admitted. “There were times when I thought it would be great to have a little person of our own. Like when Jack and Elle’s babies were born. But I was worried about how a baby would change XrAid’s scheduling commitments, and how that might impact negatively on me and the band.”

“You’re great with Jack and Elle’s kids, and your band relies on you more than you know. I mean, they got their record deal in the first place because of you.”

“Other peoples’ kids are not my responsibility, so paying attention to them comes easy,” she admitted. “And I believe XrAid is only as famous as we are because of Lennie’s and my connection to you, Crakt Soundzz and Cobham Street.”

“And here we are talking about bands and other people again,” I remarked. “It’s hard to stay on the topic of us. Forget all that, we’ll be great parents,” I stated.

Dipping my knees, I lifted her onto my thighs, wrapped her legs around my waist, held her close and kissed her. It was a kiss that deepened, from a slow burn to a less controlled and far more passionate one. We were both breathless when I pulled away, then held her head in my hands. A slow smile crept onto my face when I saw lust sparkling in her eyes.

“Lily, my only wish is that you could see yourself how I see you.”

“What do you see?” Her eyes ticked over my face while the sexual chemistry arced between us.

“You have no idea what a force you are. You’re a beautiful woman inside and out, a fantastic musician and singer, and you’re above average in bed.”

“Above average?” she asked, pouting.