Page 47 of Double Daddies (Dirty Daddies Anthologies #8)
My eyes rove over his familiar, handsome face and I let myself be comforted by the adoration I see shining from the depths of his eyes, the color now more blue than gray. He leans down and kisses me, his lips briefly grazing across my own, and I let myself believe that it will be enough.
Until he slips out of the room and closes the door behind him. Then all the thoughts I’ve been doing my best to keep at bay bombard me.
He said he’s okay. Is he really okay? Of course not, what kind of question is that? How can he be? He’s just being nice because Ben is nothing if not nice.
Ugh, how am I ever going to be able to sleep like this? It’s enough to make a girl want to suffocate under a pillow… not enough to die, just enough to pass out and let this be tomorrow’s problem.
None of how icky I’m feeling is Ben’s fault. It’s not even mine, as much as my emotions are making me feel like it is.
Whose fault is it, then?
Ryle’s…
Just thinking of his name summons an image of him in my mind. He’s the perfect foil to light-haired, bright-eyed, fair-complected Ben. In fact, if they were super heroes, Ben would be Captain America and Ryle would be Batman.
Normally, thinking about nerd stuff like super heroes or DC verses Marvel makes me fall asleep, but tonight I’m wide awake. And picturing Ryle as Batman.
My tummy is in knots, hurting like the worst stomachache ever… and not just because the baby growing inside me may not be my long-term boyfriend’s. It’s because I lied. I let him believe Ryle was just some guy I bumped into, a man who happened to be in the right place when I was most vulnerable.
Ben is beating himself up over asking me for a break… I know him too well to think otherwise. And I’m trying hard to make Ryle into the villain, but I know better: this is all my fault. Because truth be told, I’ve always had a crush on rich, powerful, Ryle with the smoldering eyes.
Just thinking of those eyes, seeing them in my mind, makes my tummy lurch and my pussy pulse. Naughty pussy. It shouldn’t pulse, or get wet, or do anything for anyone other than Ben.
Except it does. It has . I know all too well. I squeeze my eyes shut, hoping sleep will kidnap me to slumberland, but all closing my eyes does is give center stage to my haunting, sexy memories.
“Stop being mad about Ben,” my friend and co-worker Rayna scolds as I wrap up my notes on my last patient for the day.
“I’m not mad,” I say, refusing to look at her.
“You are. You’re pouting.”
“I am not!” But when I look up, Rayna is grinning.
“I’ve never met him, but you’ve always said he’s a great guy.”
“He is a great guy,” I defend him at once, despite the fact that, yeah, I’m a little mad. “You’d really like him. Everyone does.”
“Okay, so maybe Mr. Great Guy is right about this. And if he’s not, he’ll come around. So maybe see it as an opportunity to have a little fun.”
My eyebrows shoot up.
“Not that kind of fun. I mean, unless…”
I shake my head. “No, I would never do that to Ben.”
“Okay. Listen, I have a couple paintings in the gallery on West.”
“Oh, Rayna, that’s great!” I enthuse. “Congratulations!” Though she’s a nurse, like me, she’s also a budding artist. She likes to say that while it doesn’t pay the bills, it’s way cheaper than therapy after what we deal with on the daily.
“There’s this fancy gala tonight. Why don’t you get dressed up and come out with me?”
“Oh, I don’t know…” The idea of going out and pretending I’m not heartbroken doesn’t sound all that appealing.
“What will you do if you don’t? Watch Gilmore Girls and cry over your pint of rocky road?”
I’m more of a chocolate kinda girl, and never manage to stop at a pint, but I decide not to mention that. “No, of course not.”
Rayna grins, flashing her dimple. “Good. I’ll have the limo at your house at seven.”
My eyes widen. “Seriously? You should have just led with that.”
She laughs, scoops up the file off the counter and waves it at me. “See you then.”
I wince at the memory. Because I had, in fact, done the very thing to Ben that I’d sworn I wouldn’t. And now we’d spend the rest of our lives regretting it.
Stop it. Ben’s not thinking about it like this… why are you? He’s determined to put this behind us and be a good dad to my baby… our baby. Because either way, it’ll be ours.
I roll over, refusing to fall any deeper into my memories. I can relive the moment I, dressed to kill and with a smile to match, saw Ryle. The way my pussy had awakened when he touched my hand. It had betrayed me then… what if the mere thought of him made my body betray me again?
Stupid Ryle .
I send all the venom in my mind, in my heart, to him.
All so I won’t have to focus it where it belongs.
On the girl who had been a little too excited to see an ex-patient.
As a nurse, I’m flirted with on a daily basis.
That’s nothing new. But Ryle flirts in a way that is so subtle, so skilled, you really think he means it.
And he has those dark, enchanting eyes. I’d never given eyes much of a thought before until I found myself arrested by his.
He’s so charismatic, so smooth, that it feels like the most natural thing in the world to love him.
He’d been my patient for three long weeks.
I told myself having a crush on him was okay.
It was innocent, because he was just kidding, he wasn’t into me.
And besides, I never thought I would see him again.
But I had. And knowing that I might be carrying a part of him inside of me… it makes my tummy ache, because it should be Ben’s baby. It has to be Ben’s. But also… it feels a lot like betrayal knowing I don’t hate the idea of another man’s baby nearly as much as I should.
Because if telling Ben my baby might not be his was hard… this would kill him.