Page 47

Geeta watched from the front doorway as Nicola pulled the car onto the short gravel drive. They were home at last, late Friday afternoon.

Charlotte gingerly got out of the passenger side. Oh, she looked sore. Her stomach was going down, and she walked as if attuning to a different shape and weight. She seemed smaller than at the start of pregnancy, arms more slender, and Geeta had a strong urge to bring out her best spread of food.

“Come in, everyone,” she called, propping the door open with her bum.

She held out a hand for Charlotte, whose tiredness from the emotional rollercoaster communicated through the squeeze of her fingers. Geeta stretched up to kiss her cheek.

“Well done you. Go into the kitchen and sit down.”

Millie carried a car seat proudly in front of her, with Bean strapped in under blankets. The beaming smile on Millie’s face...Geeta nearly lost it at that.

“In you come, Mum and baby,” she said.

Then Nicola brought a Moses basket and bedding from the boot of the car.

“Welcome home,” she whispered, before she cupped Nicola’s cheek and they kissed.

She shut out the cold and followed them into the main room. They set up in the corner with the sofas and Christmas tree. Mellow lights on, seasonal music playing low, the Moses basket and baby in front. She had to laugh.

“Well, this is festive,” she said pointedly. “And it still isn’t Christmas Eve.”

Nicola gave her a side-eye, but smiled.

Then Millie carefully brought over the bundle and immediately handed her over.

“Oh.” Geeta quietly laughed.

She hadn’t wanted to ask for a cuddle so soon and was touched Millie trusted her straight away.

“Hello, baby,” she whispered.

She stared in quiet awe, cradling Angeline along her arm, tiny head cupped in hand, other arm protective around. She curved her body over, making a mama cave for the newborn.

Geeta knew she loved babies. Everyone knew that. Yet she’d forgotten how much. Such a sleepy little thing, with pale, miniature fingers stretching for a moment, then curling relaxed. She put her cheek to the baby’s forehead. So delicate and soft. My goodness, why did she still get all broody?

“So tiny,” she whispered.

“Isn’t she amazing.” Millie stared down, resting her fingers lightly on Geeta’s arm.

The expression on her face was the gentlest Geeta had ever seen. Yes, Millie definitely had her softer side. She’d suspected all along that Charlotte saw a different version, and the brash and bubbly blond melted as she gazed at her child.

With another burst of nurturing hormones, Geeta leant forward and kissed Millie on the forehead. Oh honestly. She’d never get over that parental rush, would she. For all of them.

She and Nicola set the family up in the bedroom opposite the bathroom, with a carrier of clothes, a change mat, nappies, wipes, sleeping bags. She'd forgotten how much stuff you needed for a new being.

They settled Charlotte in the corner of a sofa, with plenty of pillows to help support Bean while she breastfed. Millie sat next to her, feeding Charlotte chocolates and grinning all day long.

Geeta turned to Nicola, who looked twitchy.

“They're all set up. It’s the weekend. You can relax.”

And Nicola finally rested her weight to one side and put her arm around Geeta’s shoulders.

A knock came from the front door, one she recognised, and Kate and Olivia dropped by. Charlotte and Millie didn't want too many visitors, a newborn vulnerable at this stage, but they wanted these two.

Kate crept forward with high, ecstatic eyebrows and her mouth making a silent O shape. The four friends stood close together, with the bundle in the middle.

“Can we bring Ralph and Bea round later?” Kate whispered. “They’re at Harry's this weekend, but Bea’s fascinated by babies at the moment and would love to see her.”

Olivia twitched and shot Kate a glare. What was that about?

Geeta sighed at her very professional daughter, who wasn’t fond of babies. They were small humans after all, and Olivia wasn’t keen on most grown ones either. Her daughter adored Ralph and Bea though, so the baby disapproval seemed odd at this point. But Kate thought nothing of it and carried on cooing.

They all stayed late. Geeta and Nicola put out a spread of cheeses from the Covered Market they'd bought for Christmas, with chutneys and fruits to pick at over the evening, and Nicola set a fire going outside.

Geeta caught herself, and made herself pause. These were the good days. The very best. They were always possible, and she wanted to savour them while she could, because they flew by so fast when busy.

This was how life went. From too quiet and alone, to a houseful with a baby. She gazed at Millie and Charlotte and hoped they got to enjoy a balance, those early years so tiring, but exhilarating, and over before you had a chance to fully appreciate them.

“Oh!” Charlotte said, sitting up straighter on the sofa next to Millie while cradling Bean. “I think there’s a poo.”

“You or the baby?” Millie asked.

“Bean!” Charlotte said, with eyebrows desperate. “Although...If it’s me, I might cry. I’m terrified of the next time I need to go.”

Millie stared at her, for once lost for words.

“Well, the stitches! Do they hold?”

A definite pause stilled the room, and everyone looked towards Charlotte. The mix of Charlotte’s goofy properness and the vivid detail amused Geeta, but not others.

“That is way too much information,” Olivia gasped.

Oh dear, her refined girl.

“Sorry,” Charlotte said. “I think my filter’s gone.” She looked around at everyone. “Well, half of Oxford’s seen me up to my cervix in the last forty-eight hours. Feels like my body’s public property at the moment.”

Geeta smiled. She and Nicola stepped forward at the same time, and said, “They will hold.”

And Olivia muttered behind her, “Way too much information,” before Kate gently told her it was fine.

Kate helped Charlotte up, and they moved towards the hallway.

Millie followed with a, “I can’t believe how difficult nappy changes are. Enough to defeat two Oxford graduates anyway.”

“You'll do it without thinking soon,” Kate said over her shoulder. “It's like changing the wheels on a moving car at first.”

Olivia reluctantly followed, with a, “I’m not sure I want to see this.”

There was the sound of crying, including the baby’s, and a flurry of activity flashed across the hallway from bedroom to bathroom and back again. Geeta and Nicola stood together, staying in the main room to give them space.

Olivia emerged first.

“That...” she said, looking paler, and gesturing behind. “That is not normal. That colour...That...” She suppressed a gag. “That texture.”

Geeta laughed. “Meconium. Baby’s first poos. Perfectly normal.”

“Really?” Olivia’s eyebrows shot up.

“It passes.” Geeta shrugged. “Then gets much worse when they wean.”

“Oh, my god. What have I done?” Olivia gasped.

Olivia stood, elegant always in a black sleeveless dress, but horror struck her face. Her slim fingers rested on her waist as she leant forward and stared down at her tummy.

Geeta frowned. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?” What had her daughter done? She stepped closer.

Olivia gazed at her with huge brown eyes. “I am not ready for that.”

“But Bea's long past that stage.”

Kate came in, worry pinching her face at first, then pausing with a smile. She slipped a hand around Olivia’s back and the other settled on her tummy. Olivia snapped her head round.

“It’s different when it’s your own,” Kate said.

“So messy though?!”

Kate breathed in. “Yes, I’m afraid it's always messy.”

“Are you...?” Geeta started. She looked from Olivia to Kate and back again. Was her girl...? No. Surely not.

Kate held Olivia tighter, and they both gazed at her, Kate a little sheepish and Olivia stunned.

“It’s very, very early,” Kate whispered.

Pressure in her chest. Eyes hot. Throat tight.

“Like a few weeks,” Kate added, gazing at Olivia with the kind of love that only made Geeta want to cry more.

She put praying hands to her lips. Was her girl pregnant? Her very particular girl, who would be so organised about this.

“Are you...?”

Olivia nodded, then shot up a hand before Geeta could say anything else. “But we weren’t meant to tell anyone yet. It’s too early.”

Geeta’s eyes swirled.

“I won’t tell anyone,” she croaked.

Her voice wobbled all over the place. And now she was grinning. And she looked at Nicola, who smiled too.

“Can I be a bit happy for you though?” she said, her voice tight.

Because she couldn’t contain it much longer.

“Very well.” Olivia nodded.

Then her daughter stepped forward and gave her one of those formal hugs, those careful cuddles she’d given her for months. And Geeta burst into tears.

These were the good days.

***

Geeta sat on the garden bench outside the back door, tucked up in her big coat. The evening was dark, except for the glowing fire that flickered in front of her. She stared at the flames for so long her forehead ached. She couldn't get her eyebrows to relax for the life of her, and they remained permanently raised in shock.

She’d padded around this empty house at the beginning of the year, and now her family expanded in several directions. How was she meant to go from one extreme to the other? She closed her eyes.

Footsteps. A long stride. Then warmth and cinnamon enveloped her. Arms wrapped round her shoulders and a soft cheek rested against hers.

“Mmmm,” Geeta said.

Nicola's presence comforted in an instant and eased Geeta from head to toes. Finally, her eyebrows relented.

“Is everyone OK?” she whispered.

“Another feeding,” Nicola said.

Geeta heard the smile in her voice. She squeezed Nicola's arm and chuckled.

“I’d forgotten how quick the nap-feed-poo cycle is these first days.”

“Same,” Nicola replied.

Nicola came round and sat beside her, arm around shoulder and a hand on knee, and Geeta stared at the fire some more.

“Are you coping?” Nicola murmured. How soothing that was, Nicola concerned for her. She'd never have believed it.

“I am.” She breathed out a laugh. “I'm happy, and content, and also more worried than ever.”

Nicola tilted her head.

“Olivia’s going to need help.” Geeta sighed.

She put a hand up when Nicola started to object.

“Yes, she’s phenomenally capable, organised and a perfectionist. And, in all likelihood, will have the neatest baby known to humankind. But...”

“We all need help sometimes, especially with kids,” Nicola finished. “Because it’s more people for a start, and tiny incapable ones at that.”

“Exactly,” Geeta breathed out.

“So?” Nicola encouraged her.

“She’ll need my time more. And I want to help her.” Geeta rested hand over heart. “I am so excited for this.”

She hadn’t taken it in properly yet, but her imagination already spun future happiness in quick tales. She wondered who the donor was. Maybe Satinder would get away with asking. Then her mind skipped on, with so much to look forward to. She’d adored raising her own children and couldn't wait for that again. Love and energy from little kids was such a reward for her.

“But?”

Geeta shook her head. “I don’t know how to balance that with finding work, and everything else life throws our way.”

Nicola nodded and gazed at the fire. She sat upright as always, chin up, not in the slightest bit concerned about what life hurled at her.

“Oh, come on,” Geeta said, slightly grumpy. “Look vaguely anxious for once.”

Nicola crossed her legs and turned to her, a smile curling at her lips.

Geeta folded her arms and faced her full on.

“This,” Geeta waved up and down, “does not count as perturbed.”

But Nicola's smile only curled more.

“What?” Geeta snapped.

Nicola blinked that lazy, confident blink, and said, “We should get married.”

Geeta stared. “What the...?”

“Why don’t we get married?” Nicola grinned.

More staring.

“Well, do you fancy it?” Nicola shrugged. “Would you like to do this together? Be mums. And grandmums? Share it all, and help each other?”

Geeta clenched her jaw shut but no longer out of grumpiness.

“Do you want to live here,” Nicola stretched an arm to indicate the garden, “where you love, and have more stability if we pool finances?”

Geeta tightened her arms around herself. Was this just Nicola pivoting and fixing?

“Let’s get married,” Nicola said with gusto, her smile growing with that zest and energy Nicola exuded, where Geeta felt the whole force of her presence and personality.

“Let’s honeymoon interrailing around Europe,” Nicola added.

Geeta raised her chin. She had to swallow first, not able to match Nicola’s gusto yet. “And kiss in the rain?” she suggested.

“Run naked through meadows,” Nicola raised the stakes.

“See the Northern Lights?”

“ All of it.”

Geeta so wanted to smile. Her face ached keeping it inside. But this rollercoaster, this night, might make her cry again. No Nicola wasn’t fixing. She meant every word here.

Geeta pursed her mouth, got up slowly and sat on Nicola’s knee. She swept an arm around her shoulder and gazed into her eyes.

“And we’ll bicker and argue,” she said, barely keeping her words steady.

“And kiss and hold each other afterwards,” Nicola added, enthusiasm undiminished, but voice softening into velvet with Geeta on her knee.

She knew how she affected Nicola now, those blue eyes mellowing and whole body relenting with her close.

“But...” Geeta trailed a finger around Nicola’s cheek, “...you're missing out hot sex.”

“I hadn’t forgotten.” Nicola's gaze travelled down her chest.

She felt that.

“Stop,” Geeta whispered with a smile.

She placed her finger beneath Nicola’s chin and raised her mouth towards hers. “And to think we were enemies,” she murmured.

“When lovers is so much more fun.”

And Nicola’s sigh tingled on her lips as she succumbed to a kiss. Geeta paused and gazed at the woman she’d known a long time.

“I want all of it. Everything with you.”

“Then let’s do this next bit together,” Nicola said. “This next phase of our lives as mums and grandmothers.”

“And colleagues.”

“Even friends.”

The roles they were to each other, and to others. All the facets of life.

“You’re really OK with this, aren’t you?” Geeta said, incredulous. It prickled poignantly in her eyes and squeezed her heart. “Picking up the kids from school as the gay grands? Saying ‘I do’ to a woman?”

Nicola laughed, then her expression melted into a kind of love Geeta thought she’d never see on Nicola, and certainly not for her.

“I would shout ‘I do’ from the rooftops for you, Geeta.”

And she had to kiss her.

Nicola leant back. “Is that a ‘yes’?”

“Of course it is.”

Like she’d say no to that.

They leant in to kiss again. All words said, they fully appreciated each other this time. Geeta swept hands through Nicola’s hair, cradled her head, and kissed her deeper, not able to get enough of her.

Before, “Oh my god!” came from behind.

They looked up to find Charlotte covering her eyes. Hands slowly slipped down, and she peeped over the top of her fingers.

“Sorry.” Charlotte grinned and grimaced at the same time. “Still haven’t got used to you two...you know...together.”

“Well,” Nicola said. “I’m afraid you might have to, darling.”

Nicola sat up, all that assurance flooding back again.

“Because we are getting married.”