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So, Geeta thought, that honesty and freedom to say anything to each other? That was biting her on the arse right now. Ferociously bad photo...Damn her. It wasn’t that bad.

“Come on.” Nicola grinned over her shoulder, already striding down the lane. “Let’s nip into the gardens for a good background.”

Geeta followed, muttering to herself.

They couldn’t all be tall, designer-clothed milfs. Geeta saw the way people looked at Nicola. Not just the spurned lover losing his cool in the Bentley hallway. Women too, although she wouldn't point that out to Nicola.

Her status must be part of the allure – a senior barrister and top of her field, with enough intellect, glamour and flirtatious sparkle to be irresistible to more junior lawyers. It was, to be fair, a heady mix. Geeta could see the attraction, and always appreciated how striking Nicola appeared, even while finding her attitude obnoxious.

“Coming?”

“Coming,” Geeta grumbled.

Because Nicola was being incredibly nice to her today. Gah. The woman was even more infuriating because of it. After years of being tetchy, aloof and flat out rude to Geeta, Nicola suddenly turned on the charm, and Geeta tumbled for it.

Yes, she was open to change and people making amends, but honestly....

“Falling for Nicola Albright’s charms,” she muttered, and shook her head.

They nipped through the door in the Botanic Gardens facade and into the large walled garden overlooked by Magdalen tower.

“Where’s a decent backdrop?” Nicola said, shading the sun from her eyes. “How about we try a few pictures by the side entrance.”

And Nicola strode off again.

“Here we go.” Nicola patted a seat carved into the sandy stone wall, by an arched gate to the river. “Park your bottom here.”

Geeta shuffled into a curving alcove, surrounded by large ferns in enormous pots, and Nicola dragged over a bench to sit in front of her.

“Right. Chin up,” the barrister said. “Let’s take a couple of snaps to see what the light’s like.”

And Nicola pulled out a shiny new phone, several models newer than Geeta’s.

“There,” Nicola said.

She blinked, not even ready for a photo.

“I’ll take a few more in a sec. I want to see a test shot first.”

“Right,” Geeta replied.

Then Nicola pulled out glasses from her coat pocket, slipped them on and started swiping the screen to review the photos.

“Hmm,” Nicola said.

“That’s not very reassuring.” Geeta laughed nervously.

Nicola glanced up, eyes sparkling.

“You look gorgeous, Geeta. I’ve already said. But I’m finding a good framing first, then we’ll capture that ‘I’m going to fuck you’ attitude.”

Nicola flashed a brilliant smile with a dash of flirtation and massive pinch of audacity. She crossed her legs in those elegant film-star trousers. Leant back so her shirt fell open a little and took off her glasses. She considered Geeta and the surroundings, while trailing the arm of the glasses along her lower lip, with tactile appeal.

Yes, Geeta could see the attraction. She rolled her eyes. No wonder Nicola didn’t have to resort to dating apps.

Nicola looked sexy. Nicola was sexy. There, she acknowledged it.

Geeta didn’t shy from thinking women attractive. She’d never been reticent about that. Women, people, were obviously beautiful, and add charisma they turned sexy.

There was no point denying it. But there was a difference, she thought, between knowing someone was sexy and really feeling it. On occasion, she’d sensed its beginnings, with a particular performance by a film star, or a combination of intelligence and confidence in real life too. But not irresistibly enough to tempt further – no-one had drawn her that far around the sexuality spectrum.

So yes, she acknowledged Nicola was sexy.

But, god, it annoyed her, that Nicola Albright, who had men wrapped around her finger, was sapphicly sexy too. You didn't have a gay best buddy at uni, then a queer daughter and friends, not to tune into these things. And Geeta recognised Nicola may as well have been a mature-woman lesbian pin up.

She’d been thinking it all day – Nicola wandering with her hands in her pockets, the large watch on her lightly tanned arm, the shirt sleeves rolled up. And now with those glasses back on and pointing her phone towards her.

“Stop rolling your eyes,” Nicola said.

Shit.

“OK, I’m ready,” Geeta said.

Because she did need a better photo. And she felt strangely flattered that Nicola thought her more beautiful now. Compliments had tripped off the barrister’s tongue all day, as well as mortifying observations, which made the compliments seem real. That honesty thing between them again.

“I’ll pull closer,” Nicola said, and she shifted the bench forwards, before sitting again so her knees almost touched Geeta’s. “This is good light and framing,” Nicola added.

Her voice was quieter in the sheltered spot by the wall, with large fern leaves overhead. Perhaps her tone dropped gentler too. Nicola lifted her phone and tapped several shots then showed the screen.

“I haven’t got my glasses,” Geeta said, “so I can’t see detail. I'll have to trust you.”

Nicola’s lips curved in one of those feline smiles. She could see clearly enough to catch that.

“You can trust me,” Nicola purred, in such a seductive way Geeta had to laugh, before she squinted and wrinkled her nose at the photo.

“Can you soften it? You know, hide lines.”

“You’re gorgeous without hiding any of yourself, Geeta.”

Nicola replied with such sincerity it caught Geeta off guard. She wondered if she’d blush and ignite another hot flush, but it passed.

“Come here,” Nicola murmured, leaning forward.

For a moment, Nicola gazed at her, then reached out to stroke her hair behind an ear. Nicola's face softened, the knowing smile gone and her eyes bright.

“There, stay like that,” Nicola whispered, as if she’d found something truly beautiful to capture.

Geeta’s heart beat slow and strong at the inadvertent touch to her cheek. It was thrilling after being missed for so long. The delicious sensation of Nicola stroking around her ear, sent a gorgeous tickle all the way inside.

She laughed in a short breath at her reaction to sensual contact. With Nicola Albright of all people.

It had been years since receiving an admiring look. Maybe that’s why her body confused it with more. But still, it was very nice.

She shuffled, coming alive, body glowing and lips tingling. She quietly laughed again. Yes, she was ready to be physical with someone.

“Now,” Nicola said, the smile playful again, “Give me your best ‘I want to fuck you’ look.”

Damn her. Geeta eyed her and curled her mouth. It wasn't difficult.

“There. I think we’ve got it,” Nicola said with a triumphant grin. She lowered the phone and licked her lips. “Shuffle up,” she said, squeezing in next to Geeta. Nicola crossed her leg towards her, their thighs warm and snug together.

“Check it with these,” Nicola said, taking off her glasses and offering them to Geeta.

The glasses were stronger than her own, and she held the phone closer.

“Oh,” she said.

She looked beautiful. Yes, her hair streaked with more grey now, and lines ran where they didn’t used to. But she looked like herself, and healthier and happier than she had in a long time. The soft light in the fern’s shade made her glow.

“If you swipe,” Nicola indicated with her finger, “you’ll find the last shot.”

Geeta stroked the screen and burst out laughing. Dark eyes stared back with intentions and a smile that was similar to Nicola’s.

“I look as if I want to kill you.”

Nicola inclined her head closer. Warmer. “I’m used to that.”

“From me or everyone?” Geeta said, in the small space between them.

“The best ones are from you,” Nicola murmured.

Geeta licked her lips. “Always with the badinage, Nicola.”

“The spice of life,” came back with a soft smile. And Geeta would have given anything to know what went through her mind.

“Right,” Nicola said, standing up suddenly. “I’ll email you copies now, because I need to clear down my phone. Running out of space.”

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, darling.” Nicola said, tapping away at the screen.

So, a flippant endearment too?

Maybe it tripped off the tongue automatically, in the same way Nicola doled out the term to friends and colleagues, or offered the perfunctory kiss on the cheek.

“Almost done.”

Nicola glanced at her, the smile tipping from challenge into something like, was she mistaken, fondness? She couldn’t describe that sparkle in Nicola's eyes as anything other than affection.

Geeta sighed. God, the woman simultaneously enraged and thrilled her. She had no idea what to make of her sometimes. She’d guessed at Nicola's personality over the years, shadowy corners remaining perplexing and unknown. But Nicola was both confirming and turning her view upside down, almost constantly.

A woman who commanded withering disapproval with a look, but threw herself in the river with glee as a student. Who was judgmental and cool to her queer daughter, but clearly longed for connection with Charlotte. Who was arrogant and domineering, but softened into considerate and gentle. Flirtatious and fun too. She hadn’t seen that side of Nicola directly before, but caught it with others.

It took a long time to dislodge an ingrained opinion of someone, but with Nicola, Geeta realised she was prepared to try.

Afterwards, Geeta sat on the grass by the river to soak up the sun. Nicola lay close by, propped on an elbow, beneath dappled shade from a small silver birch.

“Thank goodness for summer,” Geeta sighed. She stretched up her arms and closed her eyes, enjoying the warmth on her body. “I need all the vitamin D I can get.”

She watched students in early punts glide down the river and sighed. This really had been a lovely day.

“This was nice,” she said, looking down at Nicola.

Nicola plucked at a daisy while gazing at the boats.

“Does he love you?” Geeta smiled.

“Hmm?” Nicola glanced at her.

“He loves me–he loves me not? Did you play that at school?”

“Oh.” Nicola smiled.

Then her expression turned adversarial.

“She hates me.” Nicola plucked a small white petal. “She finds me mildly aggravating.” She plucked another.

Geeta laughed and shook her head. “I don’t hate you, Nicola.”

“So, are we actually becoming friends?”

“Maybe.” Geeta let her face relax into sincerity. “I had a really nice time.”

Because she honestly had.

Nicola tilted her head to consider. Geeta expected her to say, “Me too.” She looked like she’d enjoyed the day.

But Nicola said, “Good,” with a big, satisfied grin.

Geeta rolled her eyes. Insufferable.

***

Geeta gazing down at her with a sleepy smile in a halo of sunshine, her kind face most appealing with drowsy contentment, that was a sight for which Nicola was unprepared. Her heart thudded deep and slow.

It carried on beating, while she watched Geeta rest hands on knees, arms bare to the shoulders, soft curves and smooth brown skin on show. And when she got up and patted her round behind, laughing at her bum going numb. Wandering back into East Oxford, quiet but relaxed company, until a rain shower made them hurry to the car. Then Geeta laughing as she shook her head, the rain turning her hair into curls.

When Nicola drove them back to Iffley Village, she tried not to gaze at Geeta the whole way.

She parked in the village lane, and they kissed each other on the cheek. Nicola waved before crossing to her garden gate and entered her house and kitchen.

And there, at her table, she sat stunned.

The image burned in her head, of Geeta walking away, a slight sway in her hips, the narrower waist, lifting her arms and running fingers through her hair, inclining her beautiful face to the sky and smiling.

The softness of Geeta's cheek lingered against hers from bidding goodbye, a delicious tingling she didn’t want to acknowledge, but willed never to fade. Geeta’s scent filled her head, heightened by the downpour and body heat, and Nicola’s lips pulsed where she’d politely touched her skin, even though she’d carried off the movement with a social ease, second nature to Nicola.

Padam. Padam. Padam. Nicola's chest thudded.

This was the issue for cool-hearted, strategic Nicola, melting again this May Day. Transformed once more and further than ever.

She drummed her nails on the table.

“May Day indeed,” she muttered.

Yes, she’d delete those photos. It was like they called to her now, wanting to look deep into Geeta’s eyes, to relive the moment she’d gently stroked around her ear, the smooth but firm edge tantalising on her fingertips. Then the warmth from Geeta’s neck promising tenderness there. Impossible not to imagine stroking down to her collar.

Nicola swiped her phone, selected every photo and hit delete before she could change her mind.

Then she sat back.

So, Nicola concluded. When she faced up to her envy of Geeta Sachdeva. When they spent time together and brushed away the noise and dust, to peek beneath the surface of her feelings. It really was just a great, big crush.

Several decades into her life, and she had an undeniable, unrequited crush. On a woman.

She shook her head.

Fifteen years of it quietly clawing at her conscience, tearing holes in her certainty, ripping doubts in her convictions, making her tetchy. And now, after time together, it plainly laughed in her face.

“Mayday, mayday.”