Page 45

“Sorry! Really need the loo!” was the first thing Charlotte said when Geeta opened the front door.

“Come in!” Geeta stepped back. “You know where it is!”

Charlotte hurtled past and Geeta waved Millie in before shutting the door on the frost outside.

“She can’t go for five minutes.” Millie placed hands on hips and rolled her eyes. “Bean’s using her bladder as a pillow.”

Geeta laughed and looped her arm through Millie’s, taking her into the house. She held Millie to her side, that bit closer. Geeta wanted to say she remembered the feeling, when both hers turned head down, but paused, wondering if Millie remembered too. And she held her tight again, wishing she could tuck the short blonde beneath her chin and soothe away her worries.

“Come into the kitchen,” she said instead.

“Bloody hell.” Millie halted when they stepped inside the open kitchen-dining area.

Geeta and Nicola had shifted it around for a new Christmas tree in the far corner, with a sofa on either side.

“Thought the place was on fire for a minute.” Millie cackled.

Geeta smiled at Millie’s exaggeration. “Nicola’s been buying lights.”

“Just a few!” Millie raised her eyebrows. “Oh, that smell though, that’s gorgeous.”

“Cinnamon sticks and dried orange slices on the tree.”

She hadn’t done that for years but, inspired again one evening with Nicola, she’d bundled up the spices and baked fruit while Nicola multitasked with glasses on, reading an article, chatting and hanging decorations.

And now, mid-December, significantly before Christmas Eve, the house turned festive and aromatic and lit up with trails of warm lights.

“I had Nicola hang the top ones."

Her reach being that much higher.

“So,” Millie sidled up, “is Nicola helping make the Yuletide gay this year?”

Geeta gave her a mock glare, and Millie grinned.

“Geeta and Nicola, sitting in a tree...”

“Shush.”

“The garden looks amazing.” Charlotte came up from behind. “Can we sit outside?”

“Yes, of course.” Geeta took Charlotte’s arm too. “Nicola thought you might want to.”

They watched Nicola stride up from the end of the garden at dusk, carrying an armful of twigs that missed the compost bin. She threw them into an iron firebasket and arranged cushions on a couple of benches by the back door.

“Do you both fancy a hot chocolate?” Geeta asked.

She wasn’t surprised they did, and all three joined Nicola outside, who had the fire blazing.

Charlotte stood with Nicola, wanting to move around, her belly that late and impossibly huge stage in her long maternity dress, while Geeta snuggled up with Millie.

“You seeing your mum this Christmas?” Geeta asked.

“Nah. We’ll catch up in the new year, you know, with Bean due and Mum working shifts over the holidays.”

“Of course.” Geeta nodded. “By the way. Do you have any names picked for Bean?”

“Tons.” Millie rolled her eyes. “Do not try getting Charlotte to decide. But we have a favourite. That is, four favourites. Charlotte wants to register them all, so Bean can choose if she hates the first name.”

“Fair enough.”

Millie wrinkled her nose. “But I kind of think if she hates one, she’ll hate them all.”

Geeta laughed.

Then Charlotte and Nicola caught her eye, the pair suddenly moving apart. Charlotte stared at the ground with her hands out to her mother.

“Oh my god, how embarrassing,” Charlotte said. “And I’ve only just been!”

“What’s wrong?” Nicola replied.

“I’ve completely lost it. How little bladder control do I have now?!”

“Erm, darling...”

The sense of urgency in Nicola’s voice had Geeta standing.

“...I think that’s your waters.”

A puddle formed at Charlotte’s feet, drenching her boots darker and melting the frost. Geeta quickly joined them.

“What the heck?” Charlotte stared wide-eyed at Nicola then Geeta. “But they said that wouldn't happen.”

“Who did?” Geeta asked, approaching.

“The antenatal class instructor. She said it’s usually a trickle, if it happens at all. Not like a whoosh.”

Charlotte stepped back, staring at the obvious puddle on the floor.

“She promised...”

Geeta grabbed Charlotte's flailing hand and squeezed her tight, Nicola holding the other side.

“That definitely looks like a whoosh.” She pitched her voice calm. “And I’m sure that’s your waters breaking. It does happen sometimes. All normal.”

“So, this is it,” Nicola said.

They looked to each other, eyes alert and ready. A call to action. They’d both been through this twice.

“You’re going to have a baby,” Nicola said, excitement and fear resonating in her voice. “Do you have your bag packed for the hospital?”

“Yes, at home.”

“OK,” Nicola said, voice deep and calm again, as if she’d assessed every step of the plan already. “Let’s get you a towel, and I’ll drive you to the hospital, calling at your house first...Darling, are you listening?”

But Charlotte wasn’t paying attention to them. She held a hand each to Geeta and Nicola, but looked straight through the gap between them.

“Millie?” Charlotte croaked.

Face white, standing rigid, Millie stared at the ground at Charlotte's feet. Her chest rose in rapid breaths as her eyes grew wide. Shock smacked her features flat, all naughtiness and bravado gone. But only for a second, because she turned and fled into the house.

***

All three of them stared as blonde curls swept through the kitchen. Millie didn’t look back as she disappeared up the hallway.

“Oh my god, Millie...” Charlotte gasped.

Charlotte crumpled into Nicola’s arms, and she took the strain to keep her daughter from collapsing to the ground.

“Come here,” Nicola murmured.

She felt the abandonment and panic tremble in Charlotte's limbs as she encouraged her to sit on a sofa.

“But Geeta’s cushions,” Charlotte whimpered.

“Do not matter right now, sweetheart,” she heard Geeta say.

They’d both switched into emergency mode. She could hear it in Geeta’s voice. Her brain flicked through what she needed to do, and what to ask of others. She reached into her coat pocket and brought out her keys before finding Geeta’s gaze.

“Will you take the car and Charlotte to the hospital?”

A nod, and she passed over the keys. Geeta squeezed her hand when she took them, experience and reassurance in that touch.

“Darling, listen to me.” She held Charlotte’s face, her daughter’s eyes wild and scared. “Geeta’s taking you home. You’ll get your bag. And she’ll take you to the hospital afterwards.”

Charlotte’s breathing ramped higher. “But...”

“I’m going to find Millie. She can’t have gone far.”

If she left right away, she might see which direction Millie fled. Home? To safety? Or seeking quiet towards church? But then the path down to the river was an option too, which would be dark and difficult to follow. Dammit, she needed to leave now.

“Mum?” Charlotte whispered. “Phone.”

She was about to say ‘not now’, but paused.

“We...Millie...” Charlotte tried. “We shared our location ages ago. You could track her.”

Thank god for a moment’s patience.

“Here.”

Charlotte struggled for her mobile and handed it over with her code, a sob escaping in a large hiccup.

“Mum,” she whispered.

Fingers clung to her with the desperate strength of fright. Nicola could remember all her months of research when pregnant herself. Endless reading and classes and preparation, then it all went out the window, to wing it with whatever happened on the day.

“I’ll find her.” She held Charlotte's head to her lips and kissed her hair. “As quickly as I can.”

She stood up and watched the map load onto the phone, ready to stride through the house.

“Tell her to please come back,” Charlotte whispered. “I don't care that’s she’s panicked. Just get her back.”

She turned round one last time to her girl, about to have a baby. And Geeta, with her arm around Charlotte, holding her tight. She faltered for a moment because it hit her. Someone to love. Someone to trust. Someone to have her back, while she had hers. It had been a long time since Nicola had security and love. She’d trusted Geeta to take Charlotte without a second thought, knowing she was the best person she’d ever met.

Nicola dropped to her knees and hugged the pair. She let the warmth of them together build, filling with comfort and squeezing reassurance back.

Then she said, “It’s going to be OK,” at exactly the same time as Geeta.

And they looked at each other once more. She couldn't love two people any more fiercely right now. Then she strode out of the house and into darkness.

Freezing air hit her lungs, brutal and raw, when she marched outside. The phone idled, loading and loading in her hands and failing to show Millie's location.

“Come on. Which way?”

A blip appeared on the screen and Nicola had her. Millie headed out of the village towards the main road. The accuracy was terrible, with a large vague circle marking her location, but at least Nicola had the direction.

Boots slipping on black ice, she marched along the pavement, past cottages, the community shop, her own house, and parallel to the long wall. Millie couldn’t be going much faster, hopefully.

What the hell was Millie doing?

“Damn it.”

She almost fell and grabbed at a gate by the terrace. She checked the phone again. Now the circle shifted closer to the river. Where the hell was she?

Nicola looked about. It was too dark, surely, for crossing fields, in whatever state of mind possessed Millie. She had to follow a track or road. Nicola turned down an avenue into darkness towards the river and hoped she caught her before the streetlamps ran out.

“Millie!” she called out into the darkness. “For god’s sake, stop! Wherever you are!”

What did she think she was doing, abandoning Charlotte right now. Of all the bloody times.

There. In the distance. The hour-glass figure of Millie blurred in a dark coat, but blonde curls glowed in a distinct patch of pale.

“Millie!” Nicola shouted.

She was sure her voice reached.

The streetlamps ran out and Millie blinked out of view. Nicola cursed and strode quicker, the lane barely distinguishable. The only light shone from houses set back behind large front gardens and even those stopped at a tree-lined track at the end. She hurried, not wanting to lose the light completely.

“Millie!” she cried one last time before she stepped into darkness.

She almost hurtled straight into a dense shape. Millie stood, rooted to the spot, at the beginning of the path. The short woman faced the other way, not moving, except for her shoulders rising and falling indistinct in the remnants of light.

“What the hell?” Nicola gasped as she let her eyes adjust and breathing settle.

What should she say to her? Express incredulity at the timing? Shout at her? She didn’t know which she’d choose. How should a barrister cajole a fleeing partner.

Millie edged round slowly, her pale face capturing moonlight and eyes huge – a figure completely absent of chutzpah and challenge. Nothing remained of blunt, fearless Millie.

“Millie,” Nicola murmured.

Only one thing to do.

She threw arms around Millie’s shoulders and thumped her into her chest. Hard. She squeezed her tight. And Millie didn’t move beneath her embrace, except for rapid rasps of distress.

“I’m here,” Nicola whispered.