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Nicola held Millie buried beneath her shoulder, her arm lifting with the shorter woman’s breaths rasping fast and loud. She listened for them slowing, but it never came.

“What have I done?” Millie gasped, over and over, inhalations singing high in distress. “What the hell have I done?”

“Everything’s OK,” Nicola reassured.

“But Charlotte!” Millie cried out loud. “I ran out on Charlotte!”

Nicola held tighter, fearing Millie would flee again.

“You panicked, because...”

Nicola closed her eyes, because she didn't want to imagine what Millie felt to make her flee.

“...But I’m here. And Geeta’s with Charlotte.”

Maybe at hearing Charlotte stayed in safe hands, Millie slumped and burst into tears. And Nicola hugged her for dear life.

“Let’s sit down,” Nicola murmured.

She guided them back into the lane. There wasn’t much choice for seating, and she brushed sharp frost with her fingers from a wall at the end of the first bungalow garden. She sank onto the seat, gently tugging Millie to join her alongside, and they sat together in low moonlight that sparkled on frozen grasses and silvered the fields beyond.

Millie’s leg trembled beside hers, the violent internal exhaustion consuming her. She must be coming down from fright and flight. Nicola thought that more likely than cold. Millie's breaths came in quick clouds in the moonlit air, and Nicola put an arm around her, in case the chill sank in too.

“Come here,” Nicola said.

“I don’t even know where the hell we are,” Millie gasped.

“We’re on the edge of the village.”

Millie’s voice cracked into a sob. “What happened to Charlotte?”

“She’s fine.” Nicola stretched out the wing of her coat. “Her waters broke. That’s all. Everything is well within expected.”

She gently rocked Millie. Did that tendency ever go? Spend a few months or years rocking kids to sleep, or soothing them, and it always sprang back. She’d found herself rocking an armful of case files in her younger days when the children were small. And it came out for Millie now.

“What was I thinking...I...” Millie's distress pitched higher again.

“Charlotte told me,” Nicola whispered. “She said you were pregnant once.”

And Millie’s trembling stopped dead.

“She didn’t give away details,” Nicola quickly added. “But enough that I recognise what might have happened.”

“OK,” Millie said. “Oh fuck.”

Millie clasped head in hands, and half scratched and massaged her scalp as if trying to restore sense.

“Shitting fuck.”

Millie’s trembling rocketed again. Stress hormones must be pumping inside, and Nicola hugged her closer.

“I feel like I’m about to float off somewhere. My brain’s...gah...” And Millie shook her head, trying to regain control.

“You’re OK. We have time. Charlotte’s in good hands.”

Because her daughter was with the best person in the world.

Millie cast her a look of despair. “I’m a mess. What if I can’t help her?”

Nicola didn’t rattle off platitudes or intend marching Millie into the hospital. That might not be best for either Millie or Charlotte.

“Do you want to be with her?” she asked.

“Yes!” Millie despaired.

“Because I know she needs you. Even if you sit beside her, being a mess.”

Charlotte would always want Millie, no matter what.

She cuddled her closer. God, it was a lot for Millie to witness. Nicola hadn’t thought of it before, how it might hit a partner with the same type of body. Watching their beloved go through that exhausting, painful, tumultuous experience, and it perhaps resonating more powerfully. Ending in ecstatic world-changing life. But not always. And worse for Millie, with a past that hit far too close to home.

“Do you think you can cope with it?” Nicola asked. “Seeing it?”

“Not really,” Millie whispered. “But I can’t not be there. I can’t cope with being apart from Charlotte. Not for this.”

Tighter again.

And Millie shook harder.

“Do you want to try?” Nicola asked. “And I’ll be there, if you fall apart. I’m here for you both.”

Millie snapped her head round, mouth hanging open, as if she were inhuman. “What the fuck, Nicola? How are you staying so calm?”

“My darling,” Nicola replied, as if the answer was obvious. “Years of practice at being a detached, pragmatic bitch.”

Millie stared. And snorted. Then fractured into snotty giggles, that turned into tears, and she fell apart again.

And that did tug on Nicola. Now the chase was over, Millie’s plight seeped in with horrible empathy. She tried to hold it at bay, and prayed she’d live up to her cold reputation, because she needed to right now. Just for a little longer.

“Fuck. This is not what I imagined at the start of the evening.” Millie wiped her nose on her sleeve. “And definitely not when we first met.”

“I didn’t even see this as a possibility.” And Nicola prided herself on envisaging all the outcomes. She sighed, rocking Millie again. “You and I...” Who’d have ever thought? “We’re about to be tied for eternity.”

Millie wiped her nose again and looked at her in question.

“Or more so, because Charlotte would follow you to the ends of the Earth. But...” Nicola hadn't seen this in her future. “Your daughter, and my granddaughter, the one and the same, is about to be born.”

Millie seemed to sober at that, a clarity settling and the tremors lessening. She gazed at Nicola with heavy eyelids, hungover from stress.

“Bloody hell.” Millie swallowed. “Bean’s mum is me, and her grandmother’s you. That poor kid.”

Nicola couldn’t help grinning. Then at the sight of Millie’s naughty smile, laughed out loud.

“Yup.” Millie shook her head. “Did not have that on my bingo card three years ago.”

And they considered each other with a mix of delirious amusement and surprise, and resignation, but perhaps fond acceptance too.

Nicola shuffled. Then Millie did.

“OK, I’ve realised my butt’s frozen numb,” Millie said, getting up.

She walked back and forth, slapping her bottom, breath harsh and still shaken.

“Right.” Millie came to a stop and put her hands up. “I’m trying really hard not to panic again. And I know this is unreasonable. But can you get me to Charlotte, like as quick as bloody possible?”

“That I can do,” Nicola said, getting up and taking Millie’s arm. “Come on.”

***

With taxis a long wait, she called Millie’s friend and Nicola's colleague, Alec. He might be a calm presence in court, but Alec drove like an absolute demon, and soon Nicola was striding into the large John Radcliffe Hospital with Millie scuttling beside her.

They were pointed in the direction of the maternity ward and found Charlotte in a narrow waiting room. Her daughter knelt on the floor, bent low over a coffee table, Geeta alongside with an arm around her.

Geeta glanced up, eyebrows in a roof of concern. “We’re still waiting for a bed.”

Millie dashed round and sank to her knees on the other side and melted into a mess of a hug from Charlotte. Waves and curls of hair piled on the table as Millie held her. There were a lot of tears. And a lot of relief.

Nicola leant over and kissed the top of Charlotte’s head. “I’m here,” she whispered, to big, grateful eyes and a teary nod from Charlotte.

She caught Geeta’s subtle beckon, and she followed, giving Millie and Charlotte space and time together. They leant side by side on a window ledge, looking out into the night and hospital lights, their voices turned away from the couple.

“It’s going slowly,” Geeta said quietly. “First birth, so no surprise, but everything’s OK.”

Nicola nodded.

“This might be a long night,” Geeta added, gazing at her. “How’s Millie coping?”

“She’s running on pure stress. But she won’t leave Charlotte now. I think the initial shock had her panicking. She is, however, going to crash badly at some point,” Nicola said quietly. “So I intend hanging around the hospital in case I need to step in.”

“Good idea.” Geeta nodded.

They took a seat nearby, and Geeta held her hand as they waited. Still without a bed, Charlotte bent over the table, counting and breathing through contractions. She slumped in between, while Millie murmured encouragement and love in her ear.

Nicola frowned, as a wave of fatigue hit heavy.

“I want to invite them to stay at my cottage afterwards,” she said to Geeta. “So I can help when needed. Buy clothes and supplies. Or hold the baby while they sleep. This is a lot for them both.”

Geeta nodded, her brown eyes calm and generous. She stroked a ribbon of Nicola’s hair around her ear.

“Bring them to the bungalow,” Geeta said. “To ours .”

Nicola hesitated. That tiredness kicked in badly now, coming down after the chase and management of the situation. Something she thrived on usually, but this involved Charlotte. Stakes didn’t get any higher that. And here was Geeta telling her to come home, to her, to theirs.

A soft hand cupped her cheek, and Nicola closed her eyes, her head swirling. When she opened them again, she found Geeta’s fond gaze.

“I’m not holding back anymore,” Geeta said. “I want a home with you. We can sort the details when Charlotte’s safely in hers. But I want you in our home now.”

Another wave washed over her, relief this time, and gentle fingers stroked her brow.

“Time for someone to be there for you,” whispered in her ear. And soft lips soothed her forehead.

“You know I’d do the same for you?” she murmured.

Geeta’s gaze turned serious and looked deeper. “Yes, I do. More sure of that than anything.” She swallowed. “You have become someone I highly respect. And my god,” Geeta smiled so that exasperation sparkled in her eyes, “I don't ever expect to agree with you on everything. And I imagine we’ll bicker until the end. But you make me laugh. You help me come alive. You’re the person I want to tell about my day. Often the one who makes my day. And I’m deeply in love with you.”

A kiss caressed her cheek, and Nicola closed her eyes again to let it soothe inside.

“So come home to ours.”

The words whispered against her lips, before a kiss gently settled there too.

“Mmm.”

And Nicola became light and lost and grateful.

When they ended their kiss, she gazed at Geeta. So many things she should say.

“I love you.” She wondered if Geeta knew the strong foundation that love stood on now. “I hope you know how much.”

“Yes, I think I do,” Geeta said. “And just as incredible, I love you too.”

***

A gentle tug on her forearm, and Nicola blinked awake. She must have drifted off in the waiting room chair, after a bed was found for Charlotte in the delivery suite and Geeta went home to ready the guest bedroom.

An exhausted Millie peeped up at her, blonde hair wild and grey darkening beneath her eyes.

“Is she OK?” Nicola came to immediately. “Is Charlotte all right?”

“Yes, she is,” Millie said, and she cleared her throat. “She’s amazing. She’s had a rough time. Bit of a tear and stitches...”

Millie’s face crumpled as if about to cry. She reeled it in, but blinked rapidly, on the edge of shattering any second.

“And you can see them now.”

“What?” Nicola gasped.

“Come and see Charlotte and Bean.”

Oh, my goodness. Surreal.

Nicola stood, light on her feet, and walked after Millie down a long corridor.

Like a new world. A whole fresh human existed in her life now. It was still dark outside. She glanced at her watch. Five o’clock in the morning. And she was here.

Down another corridor without windows, and Millie paused at a featureless door in the wall. She pushed it open into a low-lit room, and there they were. Charlotte propped on the bed. Oh, she looked pale. And her arms around a little bundle.

“Mum,” Charlotte whispered.

She’d never seen her look so tired, and Charlotte's face rippled with discomfort.

“Darling, are you OK?”

“Sore.”

Nicola cast her eye to the medic.

“Due more meds now,” the medic said, nodding and leaving the room.

“But Bean’s here,” Charlotte whispered.

The ripples of pain dissolved into a golden smile as Charlotte looked down. Nicola crept forward. She put out her hand to the bundle of white cellular blanket, and tucked inside was a tiny face.

“Oh, my goodness.”

She felt her own expression spread into desperate happiness. Her eyebrows lifted and eyes tried to smile but not cry.

Skin dark pink against the white of the cloth, little eyes shut, tiniest fingers poking from a fold of material.

“She looks like you did,” Nicola gasped.

Her chest might explode. How was it the same face pulled on her heart again.

“Just like you,” she whispered.

She eased on to the side of the mattress.

“Is this all right?”

Charlotte nodded, her brow crumpling in pain though. She needed those meds.

“Millie, could you take Bean a minute?” Charlotte asked.

“Try stopping me,” Millie answered from the other side of the bed.

Millie wiped away a tear and reached for the bundle of baby. She cradled Bean and her hips started to sway. Nicola smiled at the motion. It just took hold didn’t it.

“I can’t stop looking at her,” Millie said, her eyes growing large, and so obviously bonded already. “Look at these tiny nails,” she gasped. “How are they so small? And you’ve got to see her toes.” Millie looked up at Nicola, besotted joy and fatigue on her face. “Bean has jelly bean toes!”

Nicola smiled. This moment played out so differently from before the birth and during. Such a stressful event for many, exhausting, then the burst of love afterwards, launching you high. Like taking ten loops on life’s rollercoaster ride.

“Have you chosen a name?” Nicola asked. “Now you’ve seen her?”

Charlotte shook her head. “Still not sure.”

“How about we go with Jelly Bean and be done with it,” Millie said, while adoring the bundle.

Charlotte gazed at Millie with similar adoration. “Angeline’s probably my favourite choice.”

Nicola couldn’t help the tut.

“Darling,” Nicola breathed in. “Is that because it sounds like Jelly Bean?”

Charlotte whipped her head round, face blank with surprise.

“Oh.” Charlotte’s eyebrows plunged, then shot up again. “Might be, you know.” And she beamed a sunshine smile.

“There we go. Perfect,” Millie said. “Welcome to the world Angeline Jelly Bean Albright-Banks.”