Page 94 of Discordant Cultivation

For a moment, Vale’s expression flickered with something that might have been frustration or disappointment. “Of course you do,” Vale said with a smile.

It didn’t reach his eyes.

28

He finds a strange contentment in the price he has to pay…

Kieran

Everywhere he looked, Kieran recognized faces from album covers, music videos, and interviews he studied obsessively during his years of dreaming about belonging somewhere like this. Producers whose names appeared on Grammy nominations, artists whose songs played on radio stations, people who talked about music theory and vocal techniques he didn’t understand…

I don’t belong here. Everyone’s going to know I don’t belong here.

But then his gaze caught on a figure across the room, and every insecurity evaporated. Vander Moss from Midnight Reverie was standing twenty feet away, nursing a cheap beer while talking to a waitress—Kieran had watched his performance videos countless times, mesmerized by the way he commanded a stage and moved like a bouncy bassist while playing an electric guitar flawlessly. He was even more striking in person, smudged with eyeliner emphasizing his dark eyes, still wearing an effortlessly perfect emo aesthetic that Kieran always admired but never had the confidence to attempt.

Vale must have noticed the direction of his stare because his hand found the small of Kieran’s back, his fingers settling exactly where the TENS unit electrodes had been attached.

“You want to meet him?”

Kieran nodded, scared to say anything. Vale’s hand pressed more firmly against his spine, guiding him through the crowd with confidence that parted conversations like water as they passed, people continuing to stare or drop their voices to hushed whispers when they looked at him.

“Excuse me,” Vale said as they approached. “I’d like you to meet Thorn.”

The recognition was immediate and overwhelming. Vander’s entire face lit up as he turned toward Kieran, extending a hand with enthusiasm.

“Holy shit, you’re actually here!” He didn’t wait for Kieran to extend his hand, he just grabbed it and shook it with two hands. “Dude, ‘Library Card’ has been on repeat for days at my place!”

What? That’s not possible…

Kieran’s cheeks flushed hot and he jerked forward as Vander clapped him on the shoulder with a grin. “Th-thank you. I—your stuff with Midnight Reverie is incredible.” It was all he could manage. He felt like he was going to faint.

Vander’s smile softened slightly, something knowing in his eyes. “This scene can be overwhelming, right?” He gestured vaguely at the crowded venue.

“Dude, if you like my band’s stuff, you’ll love what I’m working on. I’m working on a solo album with that guy,” Vander said, gesturing to a blonde man who’d approached during their conversation. “Mr. Nox from Two Suns Studio. He’s producing my solo project. And before you ask, no, the band isn’t breaking up, we all just have a bet to see whose solo project does the best.”

Vale’s hand went from a steady pressure on his back into a fist and he could feel the air around them change. Kieran felt theurge to lower his eyes and go still at the shift, his heart leaping into his throat. Did he do something wrong? Had he said the wrong thing?

“Pleasure to meet you, Thorn,” Nox said, extending his hand with a smile, but he was side-eyeing Vale. “Your work is... fascinating. Such raw authenticity.”

Kieran knew the name Mr. Nox and had seen a few profiles on him, mostly salacious ones about how his studio would settle a lot of contract disputes out of court. Vale nudged Kieran’s hand out of the way and grabbed Nox’s hand.

“A pleasure, as always,” Vale said with a smile, but Kieran’s eyes locked on how tightly they were both squeezing each other’s hand, like they were trying to break bones.

“You’re not wearing your glasses tonight, Valerian.” Nox’s green eyes narrowed at Vale. He was still smiling, but there was an edge to it, like a fox baring his fangs at a hen house. “I thought you hated wearing contacts?”

That’s not what he told me.

“Oh, I wasn’t aware we were asking pointless questions tonight. I see you don’t have a babysitter tonight, Anderson, does that mean I should warn anyone under 25 to cover their drinks?” Vale asked as he released Nox’s hand.

They looked like they hated each other.

“I was coming to discuss the performance opportunities tonight with Mr. Moss,” Nox said, ignoring what Vale said as he shifted his gaze back to Kieran. “Several artists have taken the stage. I’m sure everyone would love to hear something from the mysterious Thorn.”

Part of him wanted to do it. He wanted to get up there and perform his heart out for people whose opinions mattered.

But what if I can’t do it without…

He suddenly felt like he couldn’t breathe. His heart pounded in his ears, all the noise of the room suddenly deafened him. Thegauze was too itchy. He looked to Vale, opening and closing his mouth to say something, to ask for help, to scream to the room he was being held captive by Vale fucking Rose, but nothing came out.