Page 148 of Discordant Cultivation

No. I don’t know if I can handle seeing more videos of myself seizing.

“I c-can’t,” Kieran said immediately, panic creeping into his voice. “I’m n-not ready to see—”

“People are being kind,” Vale repeated. “Genuinely kind. Maybe seeing that support would help with whatever’s blocking you creatively.”

Part of Kieran did want to know what the world thought of their exposed dynamic, but the larger part was terrified of seeing his medical emergency turned into content. Again.

But if Vale thinks it will help...

With shaking hands, Kieran reached for the laptop that sat untouched on the nightstand for nearly two weeks. The screen came to life, notifications flooding his social media accounts faster than he could process.

The first thing he saw was hundreds of well-wishes—genuine messages of support from fans who seemed genuinely concerned about his health rather than treating the seizure as entertainment. An official statement from Dr. Sam, tear-stained and apologetic, explaining that she’d tried to cut the stream but people had already screen-grabbed everything.

She feels worse about this than I do.

But as Kieran scrolled deeper, the bigger revelation hit him: Vale’s identity was completely exposed now. Fancams had appeared overnight—clips of Vale’s rare public appearances over the years smash-cut with footage of him stroking Kieran’s hair during the seizure, his unmasked face wet with tears as he administered emergency medication.

One comment thread stopped him:

the way he looks at thorn like he’d burn the whole world down to keep him safe

this isn’t producer/artist this is LOVE love

This dude doesnt even show up to collect his Grammys. Thorn must be special

Am I special?

Scrolling further, Kieran found a message from Jericho’s verified account, her profile picture showing her evolving look—the pristine white of Flake getting grungier, dirtier, but somehow more beautiful.Like snow on the side of the road,he thought, and he felt a surge of pride that his split-second decision that night helped free her from an image she never wanted. He clicked on the message.

JerichoMakesMusic

Hope you’re recovering well! No pressure, but when we meet up can we PLEASE talk about your thing with Vale????

Kieran glanced up to share the message with Vale, but the words died on his lips. Vale was completely absorbed in the guitar, a gentle smile on his face as he strummed through the chorus, swaying as he did. The sight was so unexpectedly beautiful that Kieran forgot how to breathe.

This. This is the moment I’ve been trying to write about.

Not the lessons or the breaking or even the intimacy. This—Vale vulnerable and human, playing Kieran’s simple song without trying to fix it.

I’ve been in love with him. I just didn’t know what to call it until now.

The realization didn’t arrive as a revelation. It was the naming of something true, maybe even inevitable. The fans weren’t wrong. This was exactly what love looked like when it grew in a strange place—twisted and complicated, but real nonetheless.

Maybe I can finish the song now. Maybe I finally know what the chorus needs to be.

“Swallow it down. the learned surrender…”

Kieran sang softly, letting Vale’s guitar work carry him forward.

"Hollow it out, the heart defenders.

Drown out all the self-deceiving,

Maybe I can believe what you’re believing...”

The melody flowed easier with Vale’s accompaniment, but when he reached the problem section, instead of freezing up, new words spilled out:

“Wedding bells with hounds of hell,