Page 144 of Discordant Cultivation

Like watching a song skip. Like watching his nervous system fracture into static.

Vale rushed to Kieran’s side, scooping him out of the chair and tucking his seizing body to his chest as he kicked the chair out of the way and lowered them both to the ground.

“I’m here,” he breathed, brushing Kieran’s hair back from his forehead. He checked his pulse (too high), his breathing (too shallow), he felt how hot his skin was getting with each jerk and twitch and grunt. “I’ve got you, sweetheart. I’m right here.”

Vale pulled off his hoodie the same, letting the fabric become an improvised pillow. He scrambled over to his desk where he had left the rescue medication, feeling like his heart was going to burst out of his chest. Tears stung his eyes. He thought he’d be used to the sight of Kieran’s seizures now, but he wasn’t. There was no hurt in his life he could compare to the sight of the light disappearing from Kieran’s eyes.

You’re not allowed to leave me like this. Not when I just found you. Not when I’ve only just learned what it means to love someone.

“It’s okay,” Vale whispered as he rejoined Kieran on the floor, his lips close to Kieran’s ear even though he probably couldn’t hear anything through the electrical storm consuming his brain. “I’ve got you. I’m right here, beautiful. I’m going to stay right here.”

Dr. Sam’s voice came from somewhere far away, thick with tears: “Is he—will he be okay?”

“When did this start?” Vale asked, never taking his eyes off Kieran’s face as he tracked breathing patterns and the progression of spasms like counting measures in a composition for the damned. “When did he start seeming off?”

“Maybe a few minutes ago? I thought he looked pale, but I didn’t want to say anything—”

A few minutes. Dr. Henley said to wait five minutes before administering the medicine, but Dr. Henley could fuck right off with that opinion. Vale was the one watching Kieran turn bright red and foam at the mouth.

Don’t you dare. Don’t you dare leave me when I’ve only just learned how to keep you.

“It’s going to be okay,” Vale whispered as he administered the rescue medication, one hand still cradling Kieran’s head. “There you go, sweetheart. It’s okay. It’ll be okay.”

It took longer to kick in than last time, but it did kick in. His eyes fluttered shut, his breathing slowly regulated, and the terrifying movements subsided, his arms falling limp to his sides as consciousness began the long process of reassembling itself.

There. Come back to me. You’re safe now.

But as relief calmed the thundering of Vale’s blood, he became aware of his surroundings. Dr. Sam was crying, her usual joyful composure completely shattered by witnessing something so intimate and terrifying in real time. The camera equipment still ran, red lights indicating that everything—the seizure, Vale’s unmasked face, his desperate medical intervention and gentle words—had been streamed live to thousands of viewers.

Fuck. The mask. My face. Everyone just saw—

Vale’s hands shook as he looked up at the camera, tears still streaming down his cheeks in ways that revealed more emotional vulnerability than he’d ever shown publicly.His identity, his relationship with Kieran, the reality of their dynamic—everything was exposed now, broadcast to an audience that expected a simple interview.

“Dr. Sam,” he choked out. “Please turn off the stream. I’ll be in touch later to explain.”

“Oh god,” she breathed, fumbling with her equipment as the reality of the situation hit her. “I’m so sorry—I was scared, I forgot—I didn’t mean to keep recording—”

The feed finally went dark, but Vale knew the damage was done. Thousands of people just watched Valerian Rose’s face reveal itself as he whispered desperate, sweet words while administering emergency medication to Thorn. After there was already so much speculation out there around who it was helping him in the ‘Temple of Flesh’ video…

But as Kieran’s breathing continued to stabilize in his hands, Vale found he didn’t care about exposure or consequences or the control he’d just sacrificed for public consumption. All that mattered was Kieran.

I’d do it again.I’d burn my entire world down if it meant keeping you safe.

Vale didn’t move. He cradled Kieran’s head in his lap, whispering for him to come back, that he loved him, that needed him, that he would die without him, all while tears and snot made a fool of him.

He waited.

And waited.

And waited.

“Vale?” Kieran’s voice was thick, disoriented, as his eyes roaming around through cracked eyelids like he couldn’t focus.

“I’m here, sweetheart. I’m right here.” Vale kept his voice low and steady, quickly wiping away the shameful moisture that marred his face so he wouldn’t scare Kieran.

Kieran tried to sit up, his eyes wide with panic. “The interview—Dr. Sam—d-did I ruin everything?”

“Easy.” Vale’s hands were gentle but firm, pushing Kieran back down despite his struggles. “Don’t try to get up yet. You need to rest.”