Page 65 of Dignity
We buy shoes next, and then groceries.With that completed, we head for my townhouse. I guess I shouldn’t be surprised he already knows my address and how to get there.
I’m honestly a little surprised we enter my complex without any issues, no one there to snap pictures of our arrival.
Maybe interest in my meltdown has waned, finally?
I can only hope.
When I unlock the door and turn off the alarm, I find Lauren has stacked boxes,which I assume hold everything from my office, just inside the living room, along the wall next to the entry. It makes me pause and think about my situation.
How far I’ve travelled in three weeks.
“I guess I need to list this place,” I say as I drop an armful of purchases onto the sofa.
“Why?”
“Because I can’t really afford it. Not anymore.” I might be gainfully employed now, but I refuseto give up the house in Florida. “I can probably find someplace cheaper. I don’t even have a car here. I liked it because it’s a twenty-minute walk or a five-minute cab ride to work.” I hate driving in DC and avoid it like the plague.
“Move into my place.”
I turn and study him more because of his tone than what he said. “Why?”
He shrugs. “Because I said so?”
But it wasn’t an order. From theexpression on his face I think he knows I realize it, too.
I walk over to him. “Talk to me, Chris.”
He takes a long moment to meet my gaze. “There’s a long-range plan,” he says.
“Well, yeah. It’ll take two years to get her elected,ifI can get her elected.”
“Besides that. Well, part of that.”
“When doIget to hear it?”
“Do you trust me?”
I nod.
“Did you mean it when I asked you to bemine?”
“Yes, Sir.”
“Then trust me now. Move in with me now.”
My dream and my terror, all rolled into one. Of course I’m going to say yes, even though I’m scared shitless thinking what happens when this all makes it out into the public at some future point. “And the public story?”
He shrugs. “We’re old friends, and you couldn’t afford this place on your new salary. None of that’s a lie.”
That’s both a comfort and a curse. The duality of wanting to scream I’m his and praying no one discovers our secret. “And then what?” I’m torn between wanting to come out immediately, and wanting to dive deeper into the closet to avoid the questions and recriminations I know I’ll face.
To avoid my father’s wrath, although at this point I don’t understandwhyI’m afraid of him. I’m a damn adult.Shouldn’t I be past all that?
He pulls me into his arms. Once again, I’m amazed at howrightit feels. “I’m never letting you go, Kev,” he softly says. “But I need you to trust me.”
“You took pics of me and said you deleted them.” And yet I still said yes to him.
He slowly nods. “I did. But I never used them against you, and I could have, at any time.”
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