Page 17 of Dignity

Chapter Six

I know I need to vacate DC as soon as possible, but there aren’t any flights to Tallahassee until tomorrow afternoon, at the earliest. I’ll have to hunker down and suck it up until then, because I’m damn sure not driving.

I book my ticket and pray the information doesn’t get out. If nothing else, I’ll be able to escape paparazzi once I’m past the TSA security checkpoint.

I ignore calls from my father. I’m lucky he doesn’t have the gate code to gain access to the exclusive complex where my townhouse sits here in DC.

That means I’m definitely not expecting it when my doorbell rings a little after ten o’clock that night.

I can’t exactly ignore it, because whoever it is likely won’t go away. I need to ask them to leave before calling the cops on them to give thema trespass warning.

It surprises me when I look through the viewfinder and process who is standing there on my front step. With numb fingers, I unlock the door.

Lauren gives me that playful smile of hers and holds up a large paper bag that’s full of takeout containers.

“Asfriends,” she says, her smile fading. “Because I’m worried about you, sweetie.”

“Why didn’t you use the key?”

She givesme “that” look. “Because I respect your space, like you respect mine.”

She’s the only person in my life who has the gate code to my complex, along with a spare key to my townhouse. I have one for hers, too. I don’t miss that her large messenger bag and purse are also slung over her shoulder.

I open the door wider, glancing outside as she walks inside. There’s apparently no one lurking aroundto spy on us.

I close and lock the door behind her. The delicious aroma of food wafts to me as she passes.

“Is that from Orin’s?” I ask as I flip the deadbolt.

“Yep. Best Chinese in this neighborhood.” She heads straight to my coffee table and starts setting food out. “Go grab paper towels, please. And I’ll take a glass of water.”

“I love you.”

This smile looks more melancholy. “I’m alwaysgoing to love you, too, honey. That’s why I’m here. Because I love you, and I’m worried about you.”

I walk to the kitchen, pour her a glass of ice water, and grab the roll of paper towels from the counter. By the time I return, she’s kicked off her shoes, ditched her coat, and is curled up on the end of the couch where she always sits. She’s wearing the oversized Caps hockey jersey I gave herlast Christmas over a pair of black leggings emblazoned with the white outlines of coffee mugs.

Definitely not her usual work attire.

As we eat in companionable silence with Cartoon Network playing in the background, I feel the tears hit. I close my eyes and note it when I hear paper towel being ripped from the roll. Then she nudges my hand with the sheet.

“Thanks.” I take it and blow my nose.“I don’t know what came over me,” I hoarsely say. “I…I finally hit myfuck-it-alllimit.”

I finally look over at her, and she’s wearing a serious expression, borderline grim. “This is between us, andonlybetween us,” she says. “Kev and Laur time. Are you hiding something you’ve never told me?”

Ashamed of myself, I have to look away as my tears renew and I nod.

Her soft sigh scourges my soul.“Not drugs or alcohol.” It’s not a question.

I shake my head.

Another sigh, and she touches my hand. “And you still can’t talk about it? Not even withme?”

I draw in a deep, shuddering breath. “I never meant to hurt you.” It’s something I’ve said before, countless times, but could never truly explain to her before.

She sets her food aside, takes mine, too, and then envelops me in a hug I didn’trealize I was…missing.

“You didn’t hurt me,” she says. “I wish you’d trusted me more, though. I’m sorry if you didn’t feel safe with me.”