Page 98 of Degradation

Gunther lets out a noise half-growl, half-laugh. “You always were a sly dog.” He sneers. “But fine, have it your way.” He steps away and he walks to the where I think the door is. “Enjoy my wife.” Gunther calls out as he slides them shut. “I’ll let you play with her until sunrise.”

The sound of the door clicking, of it locking seems to reverberate through my very bones.

I can’t move. I can’t breathe, I wait for the awful movement that confirms it. That seals it. That proves that all I am to the entire world now is a cheap whore.

His hand is still there, holding the silk of my robe so tightly. I flinch as I feel the fabric move but instead of being wrenched off, he wraps it around me, practically smothers me with it, before he does the tie up like it’s a knot he doesn’t want to come loose.

He feels like a grenade about to go off. This man, who’s always been so cool and collected.

What the…? I open my mouth to speak but the fear of what is going to happen next silences me.

“How many?” He growls. “How many men has he let near you?”

My cheeks heat. Shame radiates off me and I can’t answer that. I can’t. Those tears I’ve been keeping in erupt, they cascade down my cheeks and I turn into an awful sobbing mess.

He snarls, smashing something against the wall, and I flinch, waiting for those fists, that violence to turn to me.

I don’t know what to do. Is it me he’s angry with? Does he think I’m the one responsible for all this?

“I told you.” He snaps. “I warned you…”

“You think I really had a choice?” I gasp. “You think Pearce would have listened? Or my mother would have, either?”

Does he really think I had such a luxury as free will in any of this?

I can see it, I can see those moments, they flash like images, like a movie in my head, playing out one by one. The stupid little performances Gunther put me and the other girls through. Did he have his sights set on me from the very beginning? Was the entire thing a set up? I mean, all the other Founder girls had families, had fathers. I was the only one without that. I was the east target, easy pickings…

I let out a ragged breath as my heartrate spikes. Maybe it was all a rouse. Maybe Pearce and Gunther had arranged it all, I mean, I wouldn’t put it past him, my uncle wanted power, no, he didn’t just want it, he needed it, with every fibre of his being. He believed he deserved it, and I know he would have sold me to the very devil if it would have given him that.

Antonio steps closer, wrapping his arms around me, rubbing my back in a way that feels comforting. Too comforting.

“It’s okay.” He says in that reassuring tone.

“It’s not.” I gasp, losing that last tiny bit of control over myself I have left.

He all but carrying me over to the couch and he makes me sit down while it sounds like he paces in front of me.

“What happened to your face? To your eyes?”

I can’t answer that. I can’t form the words to speak out loud about all the awful things I’ve suffered. I sob harder, lifting my hands to cover my shame.

“He did that…?” He moves to where I am and I realise, he’s crouching down in front of me. His hands pull mine away, his fingers trace where my eyelids have been sewn shut.

“Why the fuck did he do that?” He snarls.

I can’t, I can’t take this… I try to get up, try to stand and he holds me down, wraps his arms around me again and lets me sob into his shoulder.

“It’s okay.” He says, repeating that same line as if it has any meaning.

I can feel how wrinkled his clothes are. I can feel that his silk shirt is crumpled, creased. He’s normal so neat, so presentable. Where the fuck has he been? He could have stopped it, he could have stepped in, he could have done something…

“Have you spoken to my mother?” I ask, I’m not sure if I want to know his reply. It’s not like the two of them have ever seen eye to eye before.

Something changes in his body language. “No.” He says firmly.

“Have you…” I hesitate, half stammering as I say the next words, “Does the Grand Master know?”

“He knows.” Antonio confirms. “And he is not happy about it. About any of this.”