Page 149 of Degradation

I can hear the scraping as Devin cuts his meat, as he shifts his food onto his own fork and as he slowly eats like this is some fine dining event and not technically still a hostage situation.

When he realises I’m struggling, however, he leans over, takes the cutlery from my hand and audibly stabs at the plate before returning it to my now open fingers.

I can feel the weight has changed. I can feel that there’s food impaled on the end. I lift the fork up, sliding what I discover to be a bit of carrot into my mouth. The sauce covering it is delicious. It’s creamy, rich, too decadent really for my stomach to tolerate, but right now, I don’t give a fuck.

As soon as I’m done chewing, Devin takes my fork again and repeats the action. This time it’s chicken, perfectly cooked, perfectly moist. I let out a shameful moan as I chew it.

Whatever Devin thinks I don’t know, but he continues helping me to eat while feeding himself.

My stomach churns in protest. Maybe all those weeks of starvation have shrunk it, but now I feel so full it almost hurts.

Devin barks for someone and I assume it’s a servant as our plates our cleared in a hurried, practised fashion before whoever it is makes a quick exit. Based on the movement, I’d say that man is almost as petrified of Devin as I am.

“Where are we?” I ask as soon as the door shuts behind him. The question has been bugging me from the moment we pulled up on his motorbike.

Wherever we were, it had a long drive. I could feel the difference in the surface between the road and this place.This place isn’t some dingy dungeon, this place has the air of grandeur. It has that same stuffy feeling my family home had, that the Palace had too.

“Somewhere safe.” Devin replies.

“Am I not permitted to know?” I snap.

I hear his elbows plant onto the table. “I will tell you what you need to know and keep out the details you don’t.”

“And why do you get to decide?” I retort.

I know he smiles. I know him well enough to know that comment garners a reaction.

“We are somewhere they cannot find us.”

“Who?”

“Your mother and my brothers.” He says.

So, they are hunting him then. Devin and his brothers are at war. I don’t find that fact reassuring in the slightest.

“And the Esau?” I half-whisper. Like I’d forgotten the fact they were mentioned.

“What do you know of them?” He replies as I hear the sound of metal chinking. I guess he’s putting his cutlery down to really focus on me now.

It feels like a test. It feels like he’s waiting for me to reveal some secret. Some big, dark, dirty secret I’ve been harbouring all these years. Only, sadly, I have no such thing.

I shrug. “I know what most people know.” I say quietly. “That hundreds of years ago, some of us rose up, tried to change the Brethren, tried to change our ways…”

“They slaughtered your ancestors.” He states. “As a Founder, I’d expect you to be more concerned about them then…”

“Then what?” I cut across him. “My mother, your brothers for instance? Everyone is a threat to me. Every living person.”

I don’t know what he thinks to that statement, I wish I could see his face, I wish I could see his expression. All I have to go onis the sound of his breathing, the small audial tells. But so much about his behaviour, about his emotions were always unspoken.

I let out a huff, shaking my head. Why am I even bothering? You can’t reason with madness can you? But then, is Devin actually mad? Gunther was, Gunther was as crazy as they come… Devin, I’m certain he’s not crazy, at least, not in the same manner. He’s not crazy chaotic, he’s calculated, ruthless. I’m also sure of the fact that he has a plan to all of this.

“Why do you want me, surely you could have your pick of the girls, being a Blake?” I say, deciding to try a different angle.

“Maybe there’s something about you that I particularly like.” He says pointedly.

It’s hard not to grimace at that.

“You said you wanted to marry me.” I continue. “Why would you want that? Surely, you’d prefer a nice little virgin?”