Page 134 of Degradation

My skin is on fire. Every inch of my flesh is burning.

My tongue feels so swollen I can’t even speak if I wanted to.

I tried laughing it off, l tried revelling in it, but as the voltage increased even the adrenaline hit wasn’t enough to balance it out.

“Come on, bitch.” The man’s voice carries to me, over the shriek of my own. “Confess and it’ll all be over. Confess and this will end.”

I don’t want to. I know doing this makes me weak. Doing this means I’m betraying the only man that ever did something for me, that sacrificed for me, even if he is a fucking monster. Even if he does bloody well deserve it.

And yet, it’s too much.

Tears stream down my cheeks. I try to pretend, try to imagine this is something else, that this is enjoyable, but I can’t do it. My mindcan’tdo it.

I shudder, biting my lip, and another wave of electricity rips its way through my body.

“Please…” I gasp.

“Confess.”

Confess, as if it’s that fucking easy.

I clench my fists, feeling as something inside me breaks. As if physically snaps.

“Tell us, bitch. Tell us who you were working with. Who else is involved.”

I shake my head again, sobbing. Can they tell? Can they see how close I am to breaking?

“He did it to save me.” I whisper. “He was trying…”

It doesn’t matter what he was trying, it didn’t work, did it?

I wail as that realisation hits me.

My monster may have had good intentions for the first time in his entire fucking life but that doesn’t alter the fact that I’m here. That I’ve spent the last five years locked away, enslaved, abused by a man who so closely resembles my husband, most days it was hard to tell the difference.

“Who?”

I bit my lip, chew my tongue, doing everything I can to stop myself but it makes no difference.

They shock me again. They shock me even harder and I know that’s it. I know I can’t fight anymore.

I scream the name.

I don’t mean to. I don’t realise I’m doing it but as that final bolt of electricity shoots through me, I pray that this is it. This is my ending.

I want to die now.

I want it all to be over.

I want it all to end.

I can’t take any more pain.

I can’t take anymore of just existing.

Devin

Why the fuck is she saying my name? Why the fuck is she screaming it like her life depends upon it?