Page 90 of Definitely Not a Thing

I wassupposedto be having a sit down to work through the customer service logistics for yesterday’s outage – my team, however, wanted me to sit it out. They were insistent on just coming back to me with options, instead of me being super involved… while I was super emotional.

They were probably right, honestly.

I just found it incredibly hard to take that step back and let them get at it.

With my mother being here though… I kinda had to.

So… I dropped that text to Shia, knowing she would actually be relieved to get it, and be able to figure things out with the rest of the team without my overly-neurotic input.

“Okay,” I said, once I’d put the phone down. “Where do you need me?”

“Wash your hands first,” she said. “Then come on and help me cut up these pickles. You talked to the realtor about your other place?”

For a moment, I frowned, not knowing what in the world she was talking about – thatjusthow far removed mydream brownstonewas from my mind.

“It got completely taken off the market, actually,” I answered. “A couple days ago. Chase let me know, and there was so much other stuff going on that it barely registered a blip.”

“Well, if you were wrapped up with your new boyfriend, that makes sense.”

“Mama!” I laughed. “Calvin was gone to training camp already – I was working on abusiness deal!”

“Tell me anything,” she shrugged. “Is that what y’all are calling it these days? We used to saygoing to see a man about a horse.You know, since you ri?—”

“I get it!” I spoke up from the sink, turning to wrinkle my nose at her. “Can you please not?”

“Andwhynot?”

“Because I amnotgrown enough to talk sex with my mother?”

“You was grown enough for that big tall man to let me in here before the sun was up good.”

I gasped. “Now how could I have helped that?!”

“Choosing a different day then the one your mother was visiting to get your little feminine itches scratched?”

“Feminine itches?!” I shrieked, laughing. “I know what you mean, but that sounds like something else entirely was going on, first of all. Second – I didn’t know he was coming. He saw how upset I was about the outage, so…”

“He came to give you something else to think about. Like his penis.”

“Mama! He came tocomfortme!”

“With his penis.”

“Mother, pleeeeassse.”

“Okay, okay,” she laughed. “I’m just teasing you – you know that, right?”

I sighed. “Yes, I know.”

“Good. I’ve only had to worry about you once – I know you’ll navigate things just fine.”

“When did you have to worry about me?” I asked, frowning.

“When you brought Hunter in my house to introduce him,” she answered, immediately.

Like…sofast.

“I thought youlikedhim, Mama, it’s been years!”