Page 2 of Definitely Not a Thing

Why would I think it would work out in that way for me?

Why wouldn’t the loud, explicit version of goddamnSplash Waterfallsbe coming from right next door to the apartment I was supposed to be moving into?

No reason.

Because it was.

With the door open, and people loitering in the hall with red solo cups in their hands, looking at me likeIwas the crazy one for daring to try to get through.

Of course this was the way this turned out.

Of course it was.

“Ay, you need help with that?” I heard, from somewhere above me but not the voice I carried in my head for God.

Out of nowhere, hands were on the box I’d been carrying, “helping” take the load off.

Now, admittedly, it was hella heavy, and the corner pressed into my thigh had been bearing most of the weight and almost certainly creating a bruise, so it actuallywasa relief.

Physically.

Mentally, emotionally,primally, though?

“What I need is for y’all to get out of the way and stop making all this damn noise!”

Okay.

Fine.

I didn’t actually say… oh.

Shit.

Did I actually say that?

If I had to judge based on the dirty looks from the folks in earshot in the hall, and the screwed-up face that belonged to the “helping” hands…

Yeah.

I said it.

And I meant it.

I just like… didn’t mean to say it.

“Oh. That’s whassup,” the deep voice from above said, unceremoniously shifting the weight of the box back into my arms – back to my arm.Notmy leg, where I’d actually been carrying it, which resulted in an embarrassingly un-immediate drop to the floor.

Thank the lord I believed in good tape.

Instead of all the box contents spilling out, it simply hit the ground with a resoundingthumpthat brought any attention thathadn’tbeen pointed my way… pointed my way.

Wonderful.

“I didn’t mean to say that!” I called in the direction of my “helper”, who was long gone by now. I put on the tight smile of someone who’d run into a coworker, retrieved my box, and continued my journey a few more feet, to the door of the place I’d be calling home for the next few months.

At least, that’s what Chase – the realtor -had claimed the timeline was.

We’d see.