Page 54 of Definitely Not a Thing

Claire’s lips pressed together, eyes narrowed before she scoffed, suppressing a laugh. “Okay Amelia. Define it however you’d like. I’m listening.”

“We’re friends!”

“Me and you? For sure. Forlife,” Claire insisted, grabbing and squeezing my hand before I snatched it away from her.

“Me andCalvin, you knew what I meant!” I laughed as she covered her face, trying to hide her clear teasing.

“I’m just saying… your definition offriendsis a lil’ different than what happens inmyhead when I think of that word. I mean… you and I are friends, and I’ve never been knee-deep in your p?—”

“Sinclaire!” I squealed, eyes wide. “Why are you—hold on,” I muttered as my phone buzzed in my lap, and I picked it up to look at the screen.

Specifically… to read a text.

From… Calvin.

“See?” Sinclaire drawled, leaning into me to peek at the phone. “You’ve been showing every tooth in your mouth every time that phone goes off, all night.”

I shrugged. “I can’t help it, he’s funny!”

“And if you keep laughing, his stand up-routine is going take residence in your panties.”

I sucked my teeth. “I’ll have you know, he has not made a single attempt at sex since we exchanged numbers.”

To prove my point, I held up the screen, showing her the thread of messages between us from the past week.

It was quite random, actually.

… charmingly so.

Jokes about Arthur’s antics, complaints about whatFreshwas out of, roasting each other’s food choices,complimentingdesign choices, music recommendations, basketball explanations...

Like friends.

Justfriends.

It was refreshing.

And endearing.

“Wow,” Claire mused, nodding as she looked away from the phone, back to me. “That is not at all what I expected. That looks likeourthread. And it’s way less problematic than our group chat with Kae.”

“That’s what I’m saying,” I laughed. “You thought I was lying?”

“Lyingsounds so harsh,” she replied. “I would have said… deluding yourself?”

“Wooow.”

“Wait,” she said, grabbing my hand. “Not like in a bad way, just… we do that sometimes – convince ourselves that what we’re feeling isn’t what we’re feeling because we’re not “supposed” to be feeling it. You know what I mean?”

I scoffed. “All too well – I wasverydelusional with Hunter, self-imposed.”

Claire sighed. “How are you feeling about that now? We started talking about it and then took a left.”

“I’m okay – like I said – no tears for a whole week. I don’t miss him. I’m not really even angry about it – not on a day to day kind of thing at least. I’m good.Really.”

She raised an eyebrow at me. “For real really, or your toxic positivity, fake-it-til-you-make-it really?”

“Realreally,” I laughed. “Besides – I think I give up on toxic positivity – that shit doesn’t work when your life isactuallyin shambles.”