Page 62

Chapter Sixty-One: Bahira

I swing my spear down towards her face and Jahlee lifts her shortswords, crossing them overhead and blocking my weapon’s path. She’s been able to parry most of my attacks, a vast improvement from when we first started training. Kicking out towards her chest, I miss as she evades my boot, spinning with her swords glinting in the sunlight in front of her.

“Good,” I acknowledge, spinning my spear until the tip is pointing upwards.

“As good as you?” she asks, dropping her swords onto the grass.

I snort, blowing a curly strand of hair that has fallen out of my ponytail. “You’ve definitely improved. Well done.”

She huffs, giving me a weak thumbs up while reaching for her waterskin in the grass next to her. “So,” she says, the word drawn out, “how are things with my brother.”

I force my jaw to relax at the mention of Kai. Our walk back from Honna had been quiet as I processed the failed experimentation with his blood on the shifter. At least Kai had been able to speak with some additional families before we left, ones who claimed they were also denied aid by the palace.

“ Fine . How are things with your aunt? Did she leave for Honna already?” Kai had only told her, Jahlee, and Tua about our departure north, the latter seeming indifferent about our journey.

“Yes, she left this morning. She is happier now that she’s talked with Kai and has his promise that anyone asking for aid will get it approved by the Crown.”

“Did she leave on foot?” I ask, taking a seat next to her and tipping my head back towards the newly risen sun.

“No, her animal is a hawk. She should make it home within a few hours if she stays in that form the entire time.”

“You didn’t want to go with her?” In our quieter moments, Jahlee had shared that there was more of the island she wished to see. How Kai’s fear of the rebels was valid, but that it left her feeling like she was a caged animal bumping into the walls of its enclosure. I thought she might take the opportunity to go with her aunt, if only for a small reprieve.

“No, she prefers to fly. I would have slowed her down with my mortal legs.” Her comment catches me off-guard as I tilt my head down to look at her. A moment passes before Jahlee tenses, her gaze flying up to meet mine as if she’s just realized what she’s said.

I decipher her words, pulling them apart until a realization lifts my brows high on my forehead. I think back to each time I’ve brought up her shifting, how she changed the subject. I remember the moment she got into an argument with the noble female, and I was sure tensions were strong enough that she might shift, but she didn’t. I recount what Sir Duarte said to her at the council dinner and how vehemently Kai defended her.

“You cannot shift,” I state gently, the corners of my mouth falling when she nods her head in agreement. “The blight. I had no idea it affected—”

“My ability, or rather lack of ability, to shift has nothing to do with the blight,” she interrupts.

“You were born unable to shift?”

“Surprise,” she says, forcing an upward tilt to her lips while wiggling her fingers in front of herself.

“How is that possible?”

Jahlee shrugs, letting her shoulders round as she stares just past me to the palace behind us. “I was born healthy and strong, but when I was well past the age that a child should be able to shift, it became painfully obvious that I couldn’t. It’s like the magic to do so just skipped me.”

Quiet stretches between us as I let Jahlee’s words settle within me. I understand inherently what it is to be born without something everyone else has. How isolating and lonely it can be. How frustrating and heartbreaking.

“I should get going,” she announces, hopping up to stand as she sheathes her shortswords. “There are people to torment and kings to annoy.”

“Jahlee,” I start, stepping in front of her quickly, “I need to tell you something.”

She folds her arms over her chest, a devilish smile curling her lips as the sadness that blanketed her earlier begins to fade. “If you’re about to tell me that you’re in love with me, I’m afraid I’ll have to break your heart—no matter how beautiful I find you. I imagine my brother would explode if the two of us started a relationship.”

I roll my eyes and mirror her stance, taking in a deep breath to steady my nerves. The trepidation I feel must show on my face because Jahlee’s smile falters and her fingers tighten around her arms. My throat feels like it’s constricting, reducing the air flowing to my lungs to nothing more than a slight trickle. Every warning bell in my head blares, and yet the words are begging to be let out, my own guilt a raging entity inside of me that pushes beneath my skin. So I just blurt them out. “I don’t have magic.”

The statement seems to echo in the training yard as I watch Jahlee’s eyes widen. Her arms fall lax at her sides, and her mouth slowly drops open. “But—but you’re mage. And all mages—”

“Not all,” I interrupt her, building my internal shields back up one block at a time as confusion and shock continue to bleed into her expression. “It appears that I was born without magic. I think it may be hidden within me, waiting to be unlocked, though I haven’t figured out how yet.”

Jahlee regains control of her features, her mouth tightening into a grim line as she places her hands on her hips. “Kai doesn’t know, does he?” she asks, accusation bitter in her voice.

“No.”

Jahlee sighs as she studies me, her disappointment coating me with every blink of her lashes. “You need to tell him,” she says more gently. “He will understand, Bahira.”

I shake my head, moving my gaze to the sky above. “He won’t. He brought me here for one purpose, Jahlee. I thought he was aware that I didn’t have magic. It’s not exactly a secret back home. But then, on the ship, it was obvious that he didn’t know, and to be honest, I didn’t care. I wanted to stay to see if there was more knowledge I could gain by being here. I wanted the safety he was offering my kingdom. I realized he’d send me home if he knew because he wouldn’t find me useful. But then…” The words taper off as I bring my gaze back to hers.

Understanding eases her pursed lips, her eyes softening along with them. “Give him a chance. He might be upset at first, but at least give him the benefit of the doubt. Don’t do what everyone else does and assume you know better than him.”

I make myself stand tall, my body held rigid by spite alone, and Jahlee, damn her, sees it all. The way I’ve forced myself to be formidable in all the ways my magic left me wanting—she recognizes it all because she’s been forced to do the same. She might be the only person in the entire world who truly understands what it is like to be born missing a part of yourself. Before I can react, she wraps her arms around me and pulls me in for a hug. My body stays tightly wound within her hold, but something within me fractures, another long thin line cracking into the hardened facade of my armor.

“I’m sorry that you understand this feeling, Bahira,” she whispers into my hair, “but I always knew that you and I would be close friends. I promise I will not say anything to anyone about this.”

“I can’t ask you to withhold this from your brother.”

She sighs, but it’s not out of annoyance. “Unless he asks me directly, I will not give him your story.” Leaning back, her hands frame my face. “Is it fucked up that I’m happy to feel less alone?”

I exhale a rough laugh and try to shake my head. “No.” It wasn’t, because I felt the same way. Jahlee gives my cheeks a squeeze before dropping her hands.

Together, we walk to the palace, changing to a conversation led by Jahlee that goes into extreme detail about how she did indeed bed that shifter she eyed in the throne room. A part of me settles at confiding in her, and it gives me hope that Kai might have a similar reaction. The other side of me, the one ruled by logic and balanced by facts, reminds me that, while they are brother and sister, Jahlee and Kai are not the same. That the sharp and rough edges that make up the shifter king aren’t ones that are meant to be flexible.

I have to tell him. I will tell him. I just need it to be the right time.

Battles rage beyond our borders, the ballad of war carrying on the wind and in through the trees that don’t feel as protective as they once did. It is because of the majority of this council that we do not intervene. It is our duty to ensure our own people’s safety and to not get involved with a war we want no part in. Though Queen Lucia expressed that perhaps we may not have a choice, the council majority stays firm in the thought that we mustn’t sway either side.

Mage magic is too powerful a tool for one side to utilize. It is this councilman’s opinion that we will likely see the war resolved between the Mortal Kingdom and the Siren Queendom long before it ever threatens our people.

Our queen looks forward to the visit from the fae king in three weeks’ time.

I close the journal and take a bite of the flaky pastry brought up by Lana, who eyed me with a level of interest I had no desire to entertain. I had read through enough journals to bring me to the start of the war, and the tone of this entry leaves me wondering if it was purely neutrality that left the mages of the time unwilling to interfere until the last moment, as I had always been taught, or if it was ignorance. What could have been prevented if those still brimming with their full power had stepped in sooner?

Magic in Olymazi presented in so many different ways, each kingdom and queendom with a unique manifestation. While musing over how to change the past is pointless, I am of the firm belief that there can always be information gleaned by what came before. I wonder if more mistakes were made by the kingdom I call home than what our historians and teachers are willing to admit.

I ponder the subject as I ready myself for the day, intent on visiting the library. The shifter books I have read so far cover a mostly generic history on their people, but I find myself most drawn to the parts that speak of the royal family. Other than the small bits of information Jahlee has given me, I don’t know anything else about Kai’s father and the lineage he came from. Not that I necessarily needed to learn that information, as it wasn’t pertinent to anything other than my own curiosity.

Dressed in black leggings and a cream-colored short-sleeved top, the material linen and embroidered with golden thread, I lace my sandals up and draw my hair into a ponytail before opening the door. I find Kai leaning against the wall, his head tipped back and eyes closed as though there aren’t people who would try to harm him while he’s so unguarded. As if he has no other care in the world but to stand there with his muscular arms folded over his chest, silent and unmoving like a perfectly sculpted statue. Clearly, he handled himself just fine before my arrival, but the thought of him getting attacked makes anger bloom within me. Kai’s eyes open when I near, his gaze going right to mine and then down my body in a sensual caress. I feel the weight of it as if it were his hands and fight back the urge to shiver.

“Good morning, Your Majesty,” I state, if only to rile him up with the use of his title.

A deep sound rumbles from his throat as he rights himself from the wall and takes a large step towards me, his chest mere inches from my chin. “Princess,” he responds, dropping his voice to an octave that does, in fact, make my skin pebble with goosebumps.

The cool depths of his dark brown eyes bore into me, the ever-present golden specks dormant as if he’s completely at ease. He curls his finger under my chin, gently tipping my face up while his thumb traces my bottom lip. The soft touch is the first of its kind between us where we might catch an audience, and I know I could move— should move —away from it, but the unexpected gentleness and the way my body responds in kind keeps me pinned in place. It’s a slow progression, both of us leaning in closer as if to test this unknown space between us. What would it be like to share a kiss here and now? One that isn’t a precursor to anything sexual or brought on by high emotions? I have never done such a thing before, never felt so exposed . My fingers reach out for his tunic, curling into the fabric as my lips part.

A throat clears a few feet away, the sound halting us. “Am I interrupting?” Kane. Kai smoothly drops his hold on me, my own hand coming down to my side as he looks over my shoulder at his cousin. When Kai doesn’t speak, Kane chuckles, moving so that he is also in my line of sight. “Quite an intimate moment you were sharing there.”

I eye the king’s cousin, my gaze roaming over his maroon-colored short-sleeved tunic and the tattoos that go down both arms. The swirling pattern of his right arm is disturbed by a scar, the skin there raised and still slightly pink.

“What do you want, Kane?” Kai growls as we move to stand shoulder-to-shoulder.

“Nothing of importance,” he says casually, his head tilting to the side as his gaze goes to me. “Just curious about the comings and goings in the palace. Making sure all is safe after the rebels’ message . After all, it did happen in broad daylight while our king was still on the premises. They are bold—I’ll give them that.” He glances quickly Kai’s way, the corners of his mouth drawing farther apart as his grin hones into something more cruel.

“You were here too, were you not?” I ask, drawing his attention back to me. “As the supposed liaison between Crown and people, one would suspect that you would have better intel on these rebels. Enough so that an attack in broad daylight, as you said, would be nearly impossible.” I take a small step forward, Kane’s eyes narrowing as I do. “Where were you when the rebels came?”

His responding snort is tipped towards the edge of fury. “You’re not suggesting I had something to do with it?”

“Did you?”

Kane’s pupils become framed with gold before his hand shoots out to grasp my arm. “Foolish of you to make an insinuation without proof,” he snarls.

My chin dips, and I gaze up through my lashes at him, holding eye contact for a few seconds before I send the heel of my palm right into his nose. He shouts out in pain, his grip tightening on my arm before I latch onto his wrist and twist inward, forcing his fingers to release me. Blood trickles over his lips, the gold in his eyes growing as he bares his teeth at me. I flash mine right back. Kane moves to take a step forward when his gaze flicks to Kai. Whatever he sees there has him inhaling slowly while wiping the blood off of his face with the back of his hand before spinning on his heel and storming towards the palace entrance.

Turning slowly, I find Kai glaring down at me, his own chest rising and falling with quick breaths. Tua’s warning to not make Kai look worse to his people makes me internally cringe as I watch the palace staff walk by and avert their gazes from us. Shit .

“Kai, I’m sorry—”

His hands cup my face, tilting it upward as his lips crash into mine. Burning need pierces my veins as I reach out to claw at him, tugging him closer and wrapping a leg around his hip. He forces my back against the wall while his tongue tastes my mouth, desperation sharpening our edges while the outside world fades until there is only him.

“So defiant,” he mumbles as he leaves my mouth to show attention to my neck, scraping his teeth along the delicate skin there. “So indignant.” I scoff but arch farther into him as his hands drag down my sides, skimming over my breasts. “But so unexpected,” he pauses, licking where my pulse flutters at the base of my neck, “and so fucking magnificent.”

Air rushes from me as I squeeze my eyes shut against the onslaught of emotions his words bring. My fingers spear into his hair, holding his head to me so he doesn’t see what I’m sure is written all over my face. The urge to tell him the truth about me pokes and prods until it leaves me feeling nauseous.

“We should stop,” I say hoarsely though my grip doesn’t loosen. Kai immediately lifts his eyes to meet mine, something guarded building in them the longer he looks at me. “Not because I don’t want this, but I’d rather not get caught by another person, like your sister.”

Kai relaxes, his body slow to lean away. “Technically, Kane didn’t catch us doing anything.”

“True, but I think the intention was obvious.”

“Hmm,” he says, taking a step back as he smiles at me. I stare as though I’ve just uncovered something forbidden, something that I wasn’t meant to see. “There is a hot spring near the waterfall you followed me to after the rebel attack. I want to take you to it. I thought we could eat a meal there under the stars.”

“Kai Vaea, king of the shifters, are you asking me to go on a picnic date with you to a hot spring?” I enjoy the way his brows draw down, his frown drawing a laugh from me.

“It’s not a picnic.”

“It is, by every definition, a picnic,” I retort, reaching out to grip his arm when he attempts to walk away, grumbling under his breath. “I would love to go with you.”

He huffs out a breath but then nods. “I will come to your room when it’s time to leave.”

We descend the stairs together, he off to check in with the members of his court while I head to the library. But the image of him smiling and the thought that it is because of me, stays cemented in my mind. I wonder if, when I tell him the truth, he will ever smile at me like that again.