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Chapter Fifty-Six: Rhea

“Good morning, Barron,” I say cheerily to the guard, the window behind him allowing in a trickle of the early morning sun. His hands are laced together in front of him, and a wide smile brimming with joy greets my own.

“Lady Rhea, good morning to you.” I wave a folded-up letter in front of me, Barron chuckling as I hand it off to him. “Never would have taken the prince as one to pass love notes.”

Laughing, I shrug my shoulders as we both descend the stairs. “I think people often surprise us with what they are capable of.”

Barron hums, his baritone soothing. “Or maybe it just takes the right person to bring out a side of us we didn’t know we had.”

“Well, that is entirely too sweet, Barron,” I tell him as we reach the bottom of the stairs. “Please tell me you have someone special you’re using those lines on?”

Barron scratches the back of his neck, a boyish grin making his cheeks lift. “I’ve been married for ten years now,” he says, fiddling with the straps of the sheath that houses his sword, the hilt peeking up over his shoulder. I’ve never paid much attention to the weapons that the guards here have, but the sun hits the metal of it in just the right way that it highlights the small sun and moon engraved there.

“I hope they appreciate how sweet you are?” I question.

“I think they do.”

“Good. Please tell your crown prince not to lose this note and that I’ll see him later,” I say with a wink, turning towards the front doors. Barron laughs at my back, the sound echoing even as he walks to wherever Nox is with his father today. Nox had confessed to me that he misplaced my last note. I was happy that one in particular didn’t have anything overtly scandalous in it.

I only make it a few steps into the foyer before my name is called out. My magic surges within me at the familiar voice, and I internally curse at it to settle down before turning to face Haylee.

“Are you off to the training grounds?” she asks as she comes to stand next to me, her cheeks flushed and skin glowing against her all-black training uniform.

“I am. What about you?”

Folding her arms over her chest, she takes a deep breath before shaking her head. “No, I just finished my training for the morning.”

“Already? It’s barely past sunrise,” I say with awe, marveling at the fact that she managed to do anything at all before the sun was up. Nox is lucky if I give him a groan of acknowledgement when he kisses me goodbye that early. Although, with the nightmares coming back in full force these past few weeks since King Dolian’s appearance through the Mirror, I wasn’t sleeping as well or as much right now. Which means Nox isn’t either. My guilt at constantly waking him with my screams of terror in the middle of the night sits heavily in my gut.

Haylee smiles, her pretty pink lips showing off her perfect teeth. “You know how it is. When you want something badly enough, you will do whatever it takes to get there. By the way, you should be aware that you’ve made some enemies.” I blink in surprise as I stare at her, something sharp flashing in her gray eyes. “I’m kidding,” she says, placing a gentle hand on my shoulder. “I overheard some of the women complaining that Nox has stopped training shirtless since you two have officially announced your courtship.”

“Oh, right,” I say around a forced laugh.

“Anyway, I better go say hello to my uncle before the council meeting starts. I’ll see you around.”

“I’ll see you.”

Haylee turns on her heel and makes her way down the hallway that leads to the council chambers. Letting a breath flutter past my lips, I shake my head and continue my walk through the double doors and down the steps outside of the palace as I head to the training grounds.

The council. I am meeting with them in a few days, and Nox has been working hard every evening before bed to not only familiarize me with each council member but prepare me for the type of questions he thought they might ask. Things beyond just confirming where we met. How will you support Nox as king? What type of queen do you envision yourself being? How can you support the council in its endeavors to maintain a peaceful kingdom? That question in particular always made me stumble, as my very existence here was putting the kingdom at risk.

The memory of my uncle’s threat sends a rush of unease through me, my next inhale catching in my throat as I stumble. Knowing that I need a moment, I step off of the stone path and into the forest, leaning against one of the large trees while I shut my eyes. He can’t cross the Spell. He can’t get to me here. He can’t hurt me anymore. Though the words are strong, my resolve isn’t quite there yet. I picture Nox’s face and how, if he were here with me, he’d grip my shoulders and tell me to focus on my breathing. Inhale. Exhale. I am safe. I am loved. I am home. I repeat those three phrases over and over again, deepening my inhales and slowing down my exhales, just as Nox showed me to do. My posture relaxes, and I open my eyes, the scent of the woods strong with every breath. While my uncle’s voice is still in my mind, it’s an echo of what it was. More easily ignored. Uncurling my fingers from my palms, I make my way back onto the path.

When the unobstructed sunlight of the training yard blankets my skin, I smile, my light magic humming deeply within me. In between preparing for the council and trying to soak up every free moment we have together, Nox and I have been training my magic without the pendant on. He hasn’t brought up accessing my shadow magic, and though I’m grateful that I’ve gotten stronger at blocking it out, I can still feel it lurking within me. Like a monster hiding in plain sight.

Cassius waves at me from our usual meeting spot near the middle of the grounds. “Blondie, you’re late,” he says, feigning a look of annoyance.

“I’m sorry. I got held up talking to Haylee.” I keep my tone casual, but if there is one thing I’ve learned Cass excels at, it’s being the opposite of casual.

“And what did she have to say?” he drawls, knocking into me gently once I stand next to him.

“She was just being polite. It was small talk.”

His eyes narrow as he looks at me, and I narrow mine right back. He bursts out laughing, ruffling the hair on the top of my head. “You look adorable when you’re trying to be serious.” I scoff, a retort nearly off my tongue, but he keeps talking. “Anyway, we’re going defensive today. I was hoping Nox would be able to join us so I could coach you as you two spar, but we’ll have to make do.” I nod as Cass comes up behind me. “Remember what we talked about yesterday. Just because I’m larger than you doesn’t mean you can’t get the upper hand. You’ve gotten stronger. You’re building muscle. You may not have the ability to overpower me now, but you can definitely overpower Nox. His muscles have gone soft.”

“Stars above,” I choke out, laughing as he wraps his arms around me and draws my back to his chest. “I think his muscles have grown since he’s been home. At least, they feel like they have.”

“Gross.”

I laugh at Cass’s reaction, my arms pinned at my sides where he carefully has one arm above my chest and one wrapped around my stomach.

“Okay. What’s the first thing you do to try and break this hold?” he asks, his chin brushing against the top of my head.

“Change the center of gravity to my benefit,” I answer, widening my stance and squatting down low, “and knock you off your feet.” I move to step my foot behind his, but he easily blocks each of my attempts.

“Keep trying. Move a little lower.” I try, but Cass counters too quickly, blocking my path again. I let out a frustrated groan, my body going lax. He eases his hold around me, making sure I’m steady before letting go completely. “I have an idea!”

That’s all he says before he takes off running, leaving me staring at his retreating back. A few moments later, he returns, Daje jogging next to him. When the latter spots me, he slows down, his gaze moving to the ground. I haven’t spoken with Daje since he happened to walk into the council room when King Dolian was speaking. I don’t know the details of what Nox said to him or vice versa, but I do think that he’s been avoiding being anywhere near me since.

“Daje is going to spar with you so I can coach you better and see where you’re tripping yourself up,” Cass says with a huff.

Daje’s eyes grow wide as he comes to a stop a few feet away from me. “I don’t know if I should spar—”

“Oh, come on, it’s fine. Nox won’t be upset. I just need help critiquing her form. It’ll be ten minutes,” Cass says, pushing Daje towards me.

But my curiosity is piqued by his mention of Nox. “Why would Nox be upset?” I question, looking at Daje when Cass doesn’t answer.

“He didn’t tell you?” Daje questions, his eyes flicking from me to Cass.

“Tell me what?”

Daje sighs, his hands splaying out in front of him. “I don’t want you to think that I don’t understand why he said what he did or the action he took, because I do. I’m not upset with him for it. I just don’t want to be on the other side of a threat made by him again.”

My eyes grow wide as I take a step towards him. “He threatened you?”

Daje shoots a look of pleading towards Cass, who merely shrugs and gestures with his hand for Daje to continue. “For the love of all the gods,” he says under his breath. “Look, he threatened to kill me if I said anything about what I heard. But I won’t. And it’s not a big deal.”

“Not a big deal,” I repeat quietly, my stomach twisting in on itself. Daje is Nox’s friend, his sister’s friend . Or lover—I still wasn’t sure. I knew that Nox had been worried, angry even, that Daje had heard what King Dolian said, but to threaten him? I shake my head. “You don’t have to spar with me if it makes you uncomfortable, Daje. I’m sorry.”

He looks taken aback for a moment, his bright blue eyes reflecting the sunlight from above as he drops his hands to his sides. “It’s alright, Rhea. I’ll spar with you.”

Cass claps his hands together, seemingly oblivious to the awkward tension now pulled taut between Daje and I as he orders us into the position from earlier so that he can critique my form. I tuck my questions for Nox in the back of my mind and focus instead on training.

Cass is able to properly identify why I couldn’t take him down, showing me how to correct the movement and slide my leg behind Daje’s so that I can take his out from underneath him. Though Daje takes hitting the ground multiple times in stride, even appearing more at ease than when I first saw him, I internally struggle with what Nox said to him.

When we’ve had enough sparring, Cass sends Daje on his way. We move on to our daily run and then training with the bow. I manage to land a single arrow on the target at the very bottom, earning a delighted cheer from Cass.

I’m dripping with sweat when we finally make our way back to the palace, the silence apparently giving way to my wary thoughts.

“You’re upset about what happened,” Cass guesses as we walk.

“I hate that we have to lie. That it’s because of me. That Nox can’t help but be so protective because he’s trying to make sure I stay safe. At what point does it become not worth it?”

“I imagine, for Nox, that day will never come. To him, you’ll always be worth it.”

Sighing, I take in the palace at a distance, its three stories still not towering over the four massive trees anchoring it on each corner. Green vines and blooming flowers wrap around posts and grow over the verandas. It is so stunningly beautiful. This entire kingdom is, and my presence here threatens that beauty. The truth about my past, my identity, my magic… was that really what my life would always consist of? Yes, I am out of the tower and living with the man I love, but I am still shrouded in words that have to remain unspoken. I ache—my heart aches —with the weight of these secrets. How am I ever expected to fully and truly live if I constantly have to hide parts of who I am?

Cass and I climb the steps to the palace, the guards at the top opening the doors with a dip of their chins as we pass.

“Will you be heading to Nox?” I ask, gazing up at him.

“Yes, I—”

“Lady Rhea!” Barron comes barreling into the foyer, his boots squeaking on the glittering black stone floors. “I’ve just been sent to get you.”

“On whose orders?” Cass asks, taking a subtle step between Barron and me.

Barron’s deep gray eyes hold mine, something akin to panic swimming in their depths. “The crown prince’s,” he responds, taking a half-step back. “Please, we must go.”

Cass and I follow Barron’s quick strides, drawing a few puzzled looks from the people that pass.

“Do you think the council has summoned me early?” I whisper to Cass.

“Nox wouldn’t let them. I don’t think that’s what this is,” he responds firmly and is proven correct when Barron leads us not to the council rooms but to a door farther along. He knocks three times, pausing for a few seconds before adding an additional knock.

Sadryn opens the door, his features strained as his eyes move to Cass and then me. “Thank you, Barron,” he says, dismissing the guard.

Barron sends me a weak smile before leaving as Sadryn beckons Cass and I inside, firmly shutting the door and locking it behind us. The room appears to be an office, but the details of it get lost when I see Nox standing with his back to us, a hand running through his hair. His magic is thick in the air, making my own perk up within me.

I look at Sadryn who gestures for me to move forward but places his hand on Cass’s shoulder to hold him back. My steps are tentative, the pounding of my heart making it hard to breathe as I come to Nox’s side. “Are you alright?” I ask him, leaning my head farther forward to make out his expression. He finally looks down at me, and I nearly gasp from the look of pure devastation that flattens his lips and draws his brows down. “What is it?” Scanning his body, I find him to be whole and uninjured, the only sign of his discomfort is what is so clearly painted on his face.

He drops his hand from his hair and, with a slight tremble to his fingers, hands me a folded-up paper, his thumb brushing over the back of my hand. “Before you read that,” he states, his voice hoarse, “I need you to know that not one ounce of this is your burden to carry. Not one ounce. ”

My gaze moves from him to the paper, the room deathly silent as I begin to unfold it. My hands still when I see the sigil at the top—a golden roaring lion. “What is this?” I whisper as I scan the elegant handwriting.

“The workings of a madman,” Nox responds just as quietly.

Holding my breath, I begin to read.

My Darling Rhea,

Do you remember our last chat over tea? The one where I told you the story of how your mother came to the castle? I’m glad that I could share that tale with you, if only to have it fresh on my mind when I sent my guards into Celatum. I’m sure you and your lying prince felt safe residing there; perhaps he even told you that they kept his secrets over the years. However, a lesson I had to learn in my past—and one that you are going to learn now—is that you can get someone to tell you everything you want to know with the right motivation. All you need is the patience to figure out what it is that you can use against them.

And, my darling, I have patience to spare.

As it turns out, there is a man by the name of Edward who resides in Celatum. His family used to own the only inn there and did quite well for themselves. That is, until a woman showed up about twenty-two years ago and opened her own inn just down the road. It’s interesting how grudges can fester over time. How they don’t fade away but instead burn deeply until they’re an inferno waiting to be unleashed. Edward is a patient man. Even as business began dwindling, once loyal patrons now giving their coin to his competitor, he persevered. He let his growing anger become fuel. Anger and regret do make for powerful motivation. One that spurred Edward into telling my guards that a beautiful blonde woman and a large white fox were spotted together entering a certain inn.

I was surprised to see such a familiar face hiding in plain sight. I think she was even more surprised to see me when I had her dragged back to the castle. I’m afraid it wasn’t a reunion either of us wanted.

I hope you recognize this gift I’ve sent you for what it is—your first sacrifice. Do you feel the blood on your hands? Can you taste the bitterness of the death you’ve caused? Will you keep playing pretend and hope no one else dies because of it?

Come home to me, Rhea. For this is your only true home.

I’ll be waiting for you,

Dolian

I feel Nox slip the letter from my shaking hand as I lift my head up, tears lining my eyes. Sitting on the desk in front of us is a box of black stone, the dancing spelled flames reflecting off of its sides and top. In my panic to make sure Nox was okay, I hadn’t even noticed it there. Now, however, it screams at me like a ghost making its presence known.

“Do you know what is in there?” I ask him, as his hand wraps around mine.

“I do, and I don’t think you need—”

“Show me.”

Nox doesn’t move, doesn’t speak until he takes a deep breath. “Rhea—”

“Please,” I whisper. I need to confirm what the darkest corner of my mind is already certain of. I have to see it—the unknown consequences of my actions. The cost of my supposed freedom . There will be no saving me from this, and despite what Nox says, this is my burden to bear.

He hesitates another few seconds before clearing his throat and letting go of my hand to lift the lid off the box. My lip trembles as a rotten stench pours out into the room. Air rushes in and fuels a sob that splinters out of my throat. There, lying on a bed of golden silk as if it truly were a present, is the head of the owner of Immie’s Inn . The woman whose name I now realized was short for something else, Immelda . She was the lead servant who took my mother in from the streets, according to King Dolian’s story. It explains how she knew who I was right away. Alexi had told me that I looked just like my mother, and Immie’s recognition of me all but confirmed that.

Tears trace warm trails down my cheeks as I force myself to stare at her mutilated face—her eyes missing and lips sewn shut.

Nox’s voice buzzes in my ear, but I can’t hear what he says. Not over the way my sadness and guilt and anger scream within me.

Before the sun has risen the next morning, on the ceremonial grounds of mage ancestors and past mage queens, Nox, Sadryn, Alexandria, and I lay Immie to rest. I watch as they sprinkle loose dirt over her small grave, my fingers woven tightly together as I squeeze my hands. They tingle as the blood flows back into them when Nox untangles and holds them in his own. His worried gaze finds mine, but he doesn’t offer words of solace. I don’t want them anyway.

Nox stands with me, even after his parents leave us, my gaze stuck on Immie’s grave marker.

“What are you thinking?” he asks quietly, adjusting his hold so that his arm is wrapped around my back.

“I’m furious,” I whisper, afraid the uncomfortable feeling burning within me will ignite the very grounds around us as my world flashes gray for a moment before righting. “I think I want to kill him, and that makes me even angrier.” Because I don’t want to be like him. I don’t want to have those feelings.

“One day, you will have your vengeance, Rhea. Whether it’s by striking him down yourself or through actions taken as queen. Whatever you decide, we’ll do it together.”

I lean against him, my hand resting on his chest as I nod my head. Perhaps this anger could be the fuel that leads to that. To vengeance.

I just needed to be strong enough to follow through.